Inflammation is kicking up all over my body. The tendonitis in my left shoulder has been particularly bothersome, but was manageable until today. I woke this morning at 5:45 with the left side of my head feeling like it had an axe in it, my arm and hand tingling and numb, my shoulder swollen and hot, and spasms like electric shocks shooting up my neck. I took a torodol 10mg and a vicodin at 6:00am. I took another torodol at 12:30pm and another vicodin at 2:30pm and my pain was still at a 10. I didn't have my car because I had an emergency dentist appointment yesterday (Tuesday) morning after having had no sleep the night prior, and didn't feel safe to drive home, so easy child picked me up. He and DF weren't able to pick it up until this evening (Wednesday). But, even if I had my car I couldn't have driven to go to my doctor. So, when easy child got off work I had him take me to the ER. This doctor I've seen before. I saw her when I went in late at night with an out of control migraine. Get this, she wanted to do an IV with benadryl and reglan (nausea medication). Ummmm....no. I didn't have a little headache from allergies. I asked for a torodol shot and she didn't want to do it, but she did. (Turns out to be doubly good because reglan causes a dystonic (right word, sp?) reaction with me.) She remembered me. (I didn't remember her until later.) She condescendingly asked me if I had called my doctor. I said no, but I was in so much pain I didn't bother to tell her that 1) I didn't have transportation, 2) I couldn't have driven anyway, or 3) that there is nothing more that my doctor knows to do. I did tell her that my doctor had referred me to pain mgmt in December, but that my first appointment isn't until May 3 because they were having trouble with my insurance provider. She barely touched my arm/shoulder and said she was going to give me a pain shot. I asked for torodol and she said ok. Now, I've been diagnosed with tendonitis/bursitis in both shoulders (among other places) by a rheumatologist and my GP. But, it's never been *this* bad. I was hoping (stupidly) that they would maybe do some x-rays or something because something is seriously going on in there. My freaking hand is going numb and I'm in unbearable pain. Instead, she sends me home with a printout (you always go home with a printout of the condition your diagnosis'd with) on Chronic Pain Management, which reads (in part): You have a painful condition that has required frequent use of narcotic-type pain medicine. [...] If your physician determines that you need to visit the Emergency Department for pain control, that doctor should provide you with a PAIN CONTRACT. This is a letter from your doctor which describes what pain medicine you may receive, how much and how often. You sign it agreeing to the terms of the treatment plan. [...] Please Note: In the future you may not be able to receive narcotic pain medicine from this facility without a pain contract or telephone approval from your personal physician. I NEVER ASKED FOR A NARCOTIC! I ASKED FOR TORODOL - AN NSAID! I didn't read it until I got home and I was livid. I called the hospital and I guess I was angry enough that they put me through to the doctor. I told her that I have *never* gone to them and asked them for a narcotic and that I didn't ask for a narcotic today and that I *do not* appreciate being treated like a drug seeker. She replied that she never said (note she didn't say "thought") that I was a drug seeker, that it was a standard form on my condition (hah!) that they give out and that I didn't ask for a narcotic. Then she condescendingly said that she didn't mean to insult me. Hell, they offered pain medications when I went a few months ago for a kidney infection and I TOLD THEM I HAVE PAIN medications AT HOME AND DIDN'T NEED ANY FROM THEM. I could understand if I asked for a narcotic and they had concerns. But I didn't. And I never have. I grew up in a family of alcoholics, drug addicts and drug abusers. I have a drink maybe once a year. I go out of my way to make sure I don't appear drug seeking, only accepting pain medications from my GP both because of my family history (that my doctor knows about) and because of my condition which requires frequent pain control. Hell, when I had that root canal a couple of months ago my mom tried to get me to allow the dentist to prescribe me vicodin and I told her no because I was seeing my GP the next day anyway. And then the endodontist offered me a narcotic and I told her the same thing. I resent the hell out of being treated like this. And I'm still up because my pain is still at a 9 - even with more vicodin. And since the torodol didn't work - and it always does - I'm probably going to have to do a steroid taper and I'm going to have to start high. I don't like to go above 30mg, but that's not going to cut it. I hate the way they make me feel, but I can't live like this until May 3, which is only an assessment and consultation appointment anyway. I don't like living with pain. And I live with a lot more than I should have to because my doctor is guarded with narcotics (understandably). But, to be in unbearable pain, do nothing wrong, and be treated like this? I'm calling the head of the ER. I am not going to be afraid to go to the ER when I really need to out of fear that I will be labeled a "drug seeker" when I have never asked them for a freaking narcotic. I'm tired of the stigma. I'm tired of constantly worrying that I might get labeled. And I'm really tired of living with a constant high level of pain because of it. I have enough to deal with already. Just because I'm not screaming and writhing in pain doesn't mean that it doesn't freaking hurt like hell. And now I'm crying. I am nothing like the rest of my family and I will NOT be looked at as though I am.