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I am so lost and heart broken... I called the Police on my 20 yr old today...
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 456829" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>From my heart I completely understand mourning the loss of your much loved daughter. Over the years I have shared this story many times on the Board...it was one of the saddest and profound moments in my life. Our easy child/difficult child was fifteen or sixteen when he began to smoke pot. Evidently he began to drink before that unbeknowst to us. We sent him to two residential rehab centers in hopes of getting him back on track and the second program was really good. We were so hopeful. One evening, totally out of the blue, I received a call to come get him as he was being instantly discharged. Shock.</p><p></p><p>I drove two hours to sadly pick him up. While he completed gathering his things and going through the discharge process I sat in the intimate lobby with his favorite counselor. He was very understanding and told me how much he enjoyed easy child/difficult child as he was so intelligent, funny, polite etc. As he left to go get our teen I said to him "Thank you for what you have done. We hope that he will soon return to the son we have raised." He turned around and came to sit next to me and then he said. "You will never have that person back. He is gone forever. Accept that so you can move on with your life. Your family will have to learn to live with the young man he has turned into. With or without substance abuse he will never be the same."</p><p></p><p>I am not one to cry easily. His words kept repeating in my head during the drive home. Finally, a few days later, I sobbed and sobbed. The child we raised was gone. The counselor was absolutely right. We have moments when it almost "seems" like he is as he was <strong>but </strong>his early choices have altered him for life. Accepting and continuing to love him as he "really is" has been challenging and heartbreaking but we finally accepted the reality. Hanging on to it was destructive for us and kept us from moving on to acceptance of what we never in a million years would have chosen. I sadly pass on the lesson.</p><p>Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 456829, member: 35"] From my heart I completely understand mourning the loss of your much loved daughter. Over the years I have shared this story many times on the Board...it was one of the saddest and profound moments in my life. Our easy child/difficult child was fifteen or sixteen when he began to smoke pot. Evidently he began to drink before that unbeknowst to us. We sent him to two residential rehab centers in hopes of getting him back on track and the second program was really good. We were so hopeful. One evening, totally out of the blue, I received a call to come get him as he was being instantly discharged. Shock. I drove two hours to sadly pick him up. While he completed gathering his things and going through the discharge process I sat in the intimate lobby with his favorite counselor. He was very understanding and told me how much he enjoyed easy child/difficult child as he was so intelligent, funny, polite etc. As he left to go get our teen I said to him "Thank you for what you have done. We hope that he will soon return to the son we have raised." He turned around and came to sit next to me and then he said. "You will never have that person back. He is gone forever. Accept that so you can move on with your life. Your family will have to learn to live with the young man he has turned into. With or without substance abuse he will never be the same." I am not one to cry easily. His words kept repeating in my head during the drive home. Finally, a few days later, I sobbed and sobbed. The child we raised was gone. The counselor was absolutely right. We have moments when it almost "seems" like he is as he was [B]but [/B]his early choices have altered him for life. Accepting and continuing to love him as he "really is" has been challenging and heartbreaking but we finally accepted the reality. Hanging on to it was destructive for us and kept us from moving on to acceptance of what we never in a million years would have chosen. I sadly pass on the lesson. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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I am so lost and heart broken... I called the Police on my 20 yr old today...
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