I am so lost....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dragonfly7791, Mar 18, 2008.

  1. dragonfly7791

    dragonfly7791 New Member

    First of all, I am glad I found a place where there are parents that have similar issues with their children as I do with my daughter. I have a 4 yr. old daughter who is defiant only at school. She was expelled from one daycare and she has been in her new daycare for only a week and they are ready to expell her also. The teacher says she is fine as long as she is doing what she wants to do, but when it is time to do an activity with the rest of the class she starts running around and screaming. She will run out of the class and out of the building. Sometimes she will stay just out of reach of the teacher and laugh tauntingly. She thinks it is funny!! We have tried several different reward charts with the rewards being something small, such as ice cream or a small toy to going to going to the zoo or putt putt. That doesn't work. We have done positive reinforcement. We have taken away her toys/books/tv time/computer time. We have talked with her pediatrician, and she tried to get us in to a behavioral specialist and they weren't taking any new patients. We have had her tested for ADD/ADHD and they told us she was too smart for her age and probably bored. We have considered that maybe she was bored, but when it is naptime it is naptime!! She does have allergies to food additives and dyes. I have tried getting her into see a behavioral specialist that is not affiliated with her insurance and the next appointment is month away. I need some help before then!! Anybody have any advice?
     
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi Dragonfly, I'm glad you found us.

    Yes, we do have advice! Head to the bookstore or to the amazon link to the right and get yourself a copy of the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It outlines a parenting strategy that has helped many of us. At the top of this board you'll find some help in adapting it for young children so start there.

    Is your daughter in all day daycare, with a preschool component to it?
     
  3. dragonfly7791

    dragonfly7791 New Member

    She is in an all day daycare with a preschool component to it. She is advanced for her age. She is reading at a 2nd grade level and doing addition. In her class they are learning the letters of the alphabet. I think she is bored some of the time. The daycare that she was just expelled from class went through 17 teachers in a year (just in her class), with two of them physically hurting her. The first teacher grabbed her arm and forced her to the floor to pick up toys. The second teacher pulled her hair and pinched her when she went inside to clean her mouth out (another child threw dirt in her face and the teacher outside told her to go in a clean up.) The second teacher was not aware of what was going on and jumped to conclusions. Her little brother's class (1 yo.) went through 10 teachers. I wish I had gotten them out of that center sooner. I think she lacks trust in her teachers, and she does push her limits. She does not behave this way at home.
     
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    How early did she start showing interest in letters and numbers? And at what age did she start reading?
     
  5. dragonfly7791

    dragonfly7791 New Member

    She was able to write her name a week before she turned 2. She has always been more interested in books than toys, even as a baby. She does most of this herself. She has been able to turn our computer on and get online and go to her favorite websites (using the favorites list) since she was 2. She started reading at 3. She really enjoys doing math. She has really picked up addition. Subtraction on the other hand is a bit more difficult for her.
     
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    We're only parents so obviously we can't diagnose but we can give you some direction on where to research and help with behaviors and assessments.

    My difficult child started reading at age 2. You'll want to look into Hyperlexia, which is often associated with the Autistic Spectrum Disorders.
     
  7. giggleseasy

    giggleseasy Glad I'm not alone.

    My 5 year old difficult child went from not being able to read anything, to being able to read better than my 8 year old easy child in less than a week.
     
  8. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Giggleseasy, I can't say what happened with your difficult child, but often when kids go through the stages of non-reading to reading very rapidly without instruction, what really was going on is that they were reading for awhile without parents being aware of it.

    Were you aware of your difficult child going through the stages of letter recognition and equating sounds with letters?
     
  9. dragonfly7791

    dragonfly7791 New Member

    I am sorry, but could someone tell me what 'gcg' and 'easy child' mean?
     
  10. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    difficult child are our notations--difficult child is "gift from god" referring to our difficult children. It helps remind us past the problems and prevents everyone from throwing out unfavorable terms they might be thinking at the time. easy child stands for perfect child--tongue in cheek way to refer to our typical kids.
     
  11. Lulu

    Lulu New Member

    Dragonfly, your school district may have an evaluation program for preschoolers (ours does) and offer special services for those who qualify based on the results of the evaluation. My friend has just gotten this for her 4yo and he will be starting there very soon. He is not thriving at his private preschool. He will get smaller classes with a mixed population, and the teachers are highly trained at dealing with all kinds of behavior and cognitive issues. You might want to see what your district offers.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
     
  12. dragonfly7791

    dragonfly7791 New Member

    They do have an evaluation program. I took her to be evaluated last year. They told me that she is fine, but advanced. They thought that she was bored. I have an appointment next month for her to be re-evaluated. I just wish it was sooner! We start counseling next week. I look forward to seeing what can be accomplished with that. Yesterday, I told the daycare that she can not eat poptarts (they were having poptarts for breakfast) because of her intolerance for artificial flavors/colors. They did not pass the information on to the teacher. So, she had poptarts for breakfast and about an hour and a half later she exploded. She literally lost all control (started screaming, running around). I picked her up and she had a turkey sandwich and it was like flipping a switch. When I have to pick her up from daycare I bring her to work with me and she has to sit under my desk so I can finish working. She has been able to sit under my desk from 10:30 am to 5pm. With NO problems. I wish she would behave like that at school!
     
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