I am so numb to life

[amazeofgrace]

I can't figure it out, I am finally divorced from "S2BX" who is now NMX=now my X. I still feel hopeless and like there's nothing left to live for.

I am aware I do not have the option of checking out or breaking down (like my NMX did and is doing). I know I am only 36 going on 37. I am just in a funk.

I am trying to focus on school my boys, my friends and my health. But I feel so lost.

sigh...............I am whinning...........sorry.............

 

[gcvmom]

That's okay, no sorry's needed. It's another mental/emotional transition that you're going through. It's a lot to process. But there is a HUGE amount of things for you to live for. The future is wide open for you and you are still very young with a lot of opportunity just waiting for you to grab on and go.

Be gentle with yourself and take your time.

(((Hugs)))

 

[house of cards]

I think it is very understandable that you are struggling right now. You have just had a major life change even if you know it is for the best, it is still kinda like a death for you and you are entitled to grieve. You are doing all the right things, be easy on yourself for awhile.

 

[everywoman]

Honestly, I didn't get it until I was over 40. Then suddenly---an epiphany hit. I still love my family, but I live for me. I don't consider it to be selfish---I try and reinvent myself every few years. This year, at 46, I chose to start coaching girl's basketball. I had never played except for yard ball. All of my athletic training and coaching experience had been in dance. Everyone who knew me laughed!!! But, I'm enjoying it. I might just choose to do it again next year. Step out of the box. Reinvent yourself. Try something new and totally different to you.

 

[Jena]

Sometimes I find you just gotta let yourself be in the "funk", you just went through so much and like everyone else said you are in a transitional phase, your life has totally changed and change is hard.

Be gentle to yourself, cry whine vent. Crying doesn't in anyway compromise one's strength It's good to get it out also.

your life is going to be wonderful, I felt the same way when I ended my marriage 8 years ago. I was so miserable and depressed, my doctor offered me tons of medications no one knew what to do for me. Yet it took sometime, but I cried alot, and let it flow than one day after mos of it being over I took a walk to the beach it was raining, as I stood there in the sand all of a sudden the rain stopped and the sun came out.

It was that moment I knew that no matter what happened or changed in my life or world I'd be better for it and to just be patient with my feelings and with life changes.

((((hugs)))))

 

[bran155]

I think that you are so entitled to whine and vent and cry and everything else that goes along with a major life change. You will come out of it. I like EW's idea of reinventing ourselves. I like the idea of trying something new every so often. Do something that is not really in your character, join a bowling league, ceramics class, softball team, poetry club, knitting club, book club, whatever you can find. You can meet new people that way and have some fun!! You deserve to enjoy yourself.

I think as woman we really lose ourselves in our family and daily routines. We girls definitely get the short end of the stick. We are like kitchens, you know how the kitchen is the hub of the household, everyone and everything ends up in the kitchen. Same for us, we have to deal with everything. Our families as well as our households would just fall apart without us girls!! In my next life I would really love to be a man!!!

I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Hang in there though, it is bound to get better. I know you probably can't see that as a possibility right now but you will find peace and happiness. You are like a blank slate right now with the ability to start over. The possibilities of your future are endless.

(((HUGS)))
Shawna

 

[hearts and roses]

Just give it time and continue to keep active socially and with your family. In time you will find your new groove.

Be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to feel the funk, and maybe even a little sadness. And one day without even realizing it you will suddenly notice that you've created a new life for yourself, a new schedule and way of behaving and laughing, and everything.

"Baby Steps" - "One Day at a Time" - "Deep Breaths"

Hugs~

 

[KTMom91]

AOG, I understand what you're saying. I felt the same way after my divorces. I think it's because my identity changed and I had no other way to define myself. I wasn't R's wife, and C's, R's, and J's stepmom anymore, so who the heck was I? Same thing after Useless Boy and I divorced. It takes time to find an identity you're comfortable with. Be gentle with yourself.

Many hugs.

 

[Wiped Out]

Others have said it very well-just adding in my hugs.

 

[rejectedmom]

Sending more hugs. -RM

 

[amazeofgrace]

Thanks all for the hugs, NMX calling me and accussing me of ruining his life because the child support liens have caught up with him, just remided me how blessed I am to finally be rid of him!

 

[Steely]

Sending lot's of hugs and cyber support - this will take time. Lots of it. And I know that is not what you wanted to hear, but it is true. As I have mentioned in other posts I think you are handling this far better than I ever did. You are the poster mom for going thru a divorce in a healthy way.

I know it does not feel good now, but it will. You are trying to get out there and do healthy things - and that is the key to processing and working thru all of this. Your life may not feel any better now, but it will. If you seclude yourself and become a workaholic, like I did, it will take ten times longer for you to find yourself.

I know it hoovers horribly at the moment.
Hugs & peace being sent your way. Hang in there.

 

[rejectedmom]

I cannot stand when divorced fathers gripe about child support. They act like it is all so unfair. In reality it is so very simple and just...You help make them so you help take care of them . Why is that so hard to understand? -RM

 

[klmno]

((HUGS)) You are on your way whether it seems like it or not right now. Just remember, we don't always have to know where we are going to end up, we just need to know that we did what we had to do- FAITH.