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General Parenting
I am so sick of the constant negativity
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 95068" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>With the laptop - I'd be telling her that if it's no good, you'll take it instead because it works fine for you. She clearly doesn't value it if it's too slow.</p><p></p><p>She has to learn to value what she's given and you have to learn to stop apologising (either in words or manner) to her. She complains; you try to fix. it would be better if you just told her to put up with it and go do something else.</p><p></p><p>Why does she have a laptop? Is it to help with schoolwork? If so, then the next time she complains scrape out everything she doesn't need (including SIMS, and any other games) and just leave her with the basics. Then maybe she can earn back any privileges, and lose them again is she complains about it INAPPROPRIATELY. Clearly, if she complains about a serious, genuine problem then that doesn't count, but she HAS to learn to respect you and what you do for her.</p><p></p><p>Part of it is typical teen but a big part of it is her unacceptable behaviour.</p><p></p><p>And a troubleshooting thought - you don't have trouble but she does. I wouldn't mind betting she's keeping SIMS up and running while at the same time doing homework, surfing the 'Net and having a stack of other programs open (iTunes, iPhoto, other hungry programs). This would slow it down badly.</p><p></p><p>Again, it comes down to compromise. She is going to have to STOP wanting everything perfect, on a silver platter and go back to having to make choices. Does she want to lay SIMS? Then play SIMS. IS she choosing to do schoolwork? Then turn off SIMS. The 'Net too, if necessary. If she's online and not much else and it's STILL slow, then tell her to cut down the number of windows she has open, or learn to avoid memory-hungry sites like youtube.</p><p></p><p>I do think the difference between you is the sort of things she's using the laptop for. And if it's mostly for entertainment, I would be rethinking why you gave it to her. You should NOT reward ingratitude with acceptance and servility.</p><p></p><p>I do hope you can sort this one out. No computer can run everything it has all at the same time. It wasn't that long ago that computers could only run one program at a time. Our kids never had to live like this, maybe they would do better if they had to do it for a while.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 95068, member: 1991"] With the laptop - I'd be telling her that if it's no good, you'll take it instead because it works fine for you. She clearly doesn't value it if it's too slow. She has to learn to value what she's given and you have to learn to stop apologising (either in words or manner) to her. She complains; you try to fix. it would be better if you just told her to put up with it and go do something else. Why does she have a laptop? Is it to help with schoolwork? If so, then the next time she complains scrape out everything she doesn't need (including SIMS, and any other games) and just leave her with the basics. Then maybe she can earn back any privileges, and lose them again is she complains about it INAPPROPRIATELY. Clearly, if she complains about a serious, genuine problem then that doesn't count, but she HAS to learn to respect you and what you do for her. Part of it is typical teen but a big part of it is her unacceptable behaviour. And a troubleshooting thought - you don't have trouble but she does. I wouldn't mind betting she's keeping SIMS up and running while at the same time doing homework, surfing the 'Net and having a stack of other programs open (iTunes, iPhoto, other hungry programs). This would slow it down badly. Again, it comes down to compromise. She is going to have to STOP wanting everything perfect, on a silver platter and go back to having to make choices. Does she want to lay SIMS? Then play SIMS. IS she choosing to do schoolwork? Then turn off SIMS. The 'Net too, if necessary. If she's online and not much else and it's STILL slow, then tell her to cut down the number of windows she has open, or learn to avoid memory-hungry sites like youtube. I do think the difference between you is the sort of things she's using the laptop for. And if it's mostly for entertainment, I would be rethinking why you gave it to her. You should NOT reward ingratitude with acceptance and servility. I do hope you can sort this one out. No computer can run everything it has all at the same time. It wasn't that long ago that computers could only run one program at a time. Our kids never had to live like this, maybe they would do better if they had to do it for a while. Marg [/QUOTE]
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