I am so ****** that I could spit bullets...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Chaosuncontained, Oct 5, 2011.

  1. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Beside having a child with multiple diagnosis and I am STRESSING OUT over that==

    SHE calls me (she is my 20 year old lying, stealing thug of a daughter). Mad at me because her Grandmother (x husbands mother) told her that I had been talking to a lot of people about her "troubles" and that Daughter should watch what she says to be regarding any illegal activity because I had run my mouth. XMIL wouldn't (or didn't YET) tell her about me calling the Sheriff Department and making them aware that she had broken into at LEAST 2 homes, stolen money, jewelry and various other things. Which by the way the Sheriff has "dropped" that case because the victims wish to NOT prosecute.

    I told all of this in strict confidence to XMIL. We have ALWAYS been close. Still were up until 10 minutes ago. She has hurt me deeply.

    Daughter called :censored2:ing me out. When I told her I was calling or texting her Grandmother letting me know how mad I was Daughter begged me not to tell her. Tough ****.

    The main reason XMIL calls me to check in on her grandkids is because her SON (xhusband)--doesn't call her or let her know anything about the kids. XMIL and Xhusnabds new wife HATE each other, and Xhusband is WHIPED. XMIL used to talk EVERY day when I was married to her son. Then weekly after we divorced. I trusted her.

    And daughter was such a ***** to me before she had even heard my side of the story. XMIL has another grandson that is currently in jail awaiting trial for his THIRD felony. He's been to prison twice. He's maybe 30. XMIL gave him money while he was on the run from the law for the crime he committed recently. So she aided and abetted. And the law doesn't know about that.

    I am so mad, upset, hurt. Hurt that XMIL broke my trust. Hurt that daughter was furious with me for calling the Sheriff Department. Guess she has a right a little, for that one... but SHE is the one who put herself in the mess. NOT me.

    PS: When daughter came to my house to spend a few night recetly I hid all of difficult child's ADHD medicine and my "anxiety" pills. All three bottles are missing-I KNOW she took them. And yet she denies it all. ARGH!!!!!
  2. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :( I'm so sorry your XMIL betrayed your trust like that. I'd be pretty hurt as well. As for your daughter's reaction to all that, do your best to push that aside... it's pretty typical difficult child reaction/deflection. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. SHE has, in spades. She's just trying to throw the blame onto you.

    Keep in mind that whatever XMIL actually said may be vastly different from what your daughter is telling you. While she obviously betrayed your confidence, I'd bet anything that your daughter is putting a nasty spin on it, and throwing inflections into your XMIL's "voice" that weren't there when she told her whatever she told her. She's probably also embellishing the story considerably, maybe even adding things she assumed you told your XMIL just to fish for information. difficult children are masters at this... and at driving wedges between the relationships of other people.

    Keep all of this in mind as you decide how and when to confront your XMIL about all this.. maybe even sleep on it first.

    been there done that with having to hide pills.. I have to do this when Oldest comes over. It's frustrating, but necessary, with an addict. One time she even switched out some antibiotics for the tablets of hydrocodone in a bottle.

  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ditto to Crazy's advice.

    difficult children can be master spin-doctors, and their own brains build these incredible links that we would never think of...
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry. difficult children are such pains.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    sorry, hugs.......
    that would be very painful
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Exmil didn't do it to hurt you. In her mind, she's "protecting" her granddaughter. It doesn't make the betrayal less, it just explains it. So, now in the future, you know not to confide in her about such things.