I am so tired of the fight

[StressedM0mma]

I am so very tired of the battle with difficult child. husband has already given up on her. I just cannot do that. But, I cannot let her I am going/not going take over anymore. I really want to just throw the towel in and say fine don't go to school, I don't care, but where does that leave us? A kid that doesn't care, and ends up flunking out. Then what? husband has already said that she will not be living here after she is 18 if she continues this.

Why won't she tell me what is going on? All she keeps saying is that she wants to go to the other school. She cannot seem to understand that no school is going to take her now. 1) the year is almost over, 2) they are not going to want to take a kids with all of these issues! I hate this so much. I feel like she is slipping back into the depression again. And, financially we cannot afford to send her inpatient again. We have used all of our savings and more to do what we have already done.

Sorry for the rambling. I just do not know where to turn. She was supposed to have a therapist appointment. yesterday, but it was cancelled because therapist went home sick. It has been 3 weeks since she has gone and man can I tell!! I need her back in there every week. I thought we could do every other, but that can't happen right now. Not that we can afford that either. She is out of network, so we need to pay $85 every week!! I am totally out of money, and I know we still do not come close to qualifying for help.

Please pretzel rattle and pray that she will go into school for 3rd class like she said she would.

 

[DaisyFace]

Stressed--

There ARE options for high school dropouts. Once she turns 16 there are programs like Job Corps that will help her get her GED plus some vocational training and help place her in a career or even college!

 

[keista]

Have you looked into changing her medications? If she's still at such a low level of functioning, the medications should be changed - they're not working for her.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Stressed,
It might be worth looking into whether there's a Catholic Charities organization in your area. Check online. They offer low/no cost mental health services, and even living arrangements for mentally/physically handicapped individuals. They were a lifesaver for my brother when we were in NY. They're non-denominational with their services too, so you don't have to be Catholic to receive help.

I'm sorry for all your stress.

 

[AnnieO]

SM - OK. First of all, {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

Second... No, she can't control your lives but - she is. I know what it's like to not be able to afford treatment. Is there a reason you have to go out of network for the psychiatrist/therapist?

About not telling you. A couple of things here. I was a reasonably "normal" teen (whatever normal is), and you can bet I didn't want to tell my parents anything. Now add in the fact that she may not be able to articulate the problem, either - she just knows she doesn't wanna go.

Public schools are kind of stuck - if the child lives in their district, they gotta attend school there. That said, there are alt schools. I'd never heard of the one Onyxx went to till she got sent there by the PHP. I'd also never heard of the PHP till we got a referral - and it was about 2 miles from my house. But I digress. because your PHP was nowhere near the same.

So - she won't wake up and go to school? Call the school (tell difficult child that you're going to, before you do it, though) - tell them you are trying, but she won't. Ask for a truant officer after a few days. At this point she will be repeating a grade - hasn't she missed enough days for this???