flutterby
Fly away!
Literally.
I'm doing the fatigue/sleeping thing again. I cannot seem to stay awake for more than 2 hours, and if I do it's torture. I've been awake since 9:30am and I feel like I'm going to vomit. When I do lie back down, I don't sleep for 30 or 45 minutes. I sleep for hours - plural. And 2 hours later, all I can think about is going back to bed.
Except last night I couldn't sleep, for some reason. I was so tired I couldn't walk straight and couldn't keep my eyes open, but I didn't go to sleep until after 4:30am.
Today? I saw therapist at 11:30. I'm slurring and mispronouncing (thank god for spell check) some of my words - and I'm not any pain or anxiety medications. I scrunched up the pillows on her sofa and had my appointment while I was curled up with my eyes closed most of the time.
I picked up difficult child from school. My car has the doors that lock automatically, so when I pick her up I have to unlock the doors. I couldn't find the button to unlock the doors. Instead, I tried all of the window buttons and the window lock button before difficult child pointed to where the lock button is.
Then we came home for a min and left to take her to therapist appointment. I turn the ignition to the point where it does the system check like you're supposed to instead of immediately starting the car. Put on my seatbelt, put the car in reverse and wonder why it won't go. Yeah. Forgot to start the car.
I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. I've been messing up appointments all week. I've had to reschedule 4 things because I double booked myself. And I have all of my appointments written on the calendar.
This is the worst part of this illness. The pain sucks, but I can function. I can't function like this. I'm watching the clock for 4pm when I can pick up difficult child and go to bed.
I'm doing the fatigue/sleeping thing again. I cannot seem to stay awake for more than 2 hours, and if I do it's torture. I've been awake since 9:30am and I feel like I'm going to vomit. When I do lie back down, I don't sleep for 30 or 45 minutes. I sleep for hours - plural. And 2 hours later, all I can think about is going back to bed.
Except last night I couldn't sleep, for some reason. I was so tired I couldn't walk straight and couldn't keep my eyes open, but I didn't go to sleep until after 4:30am.
Today? I saw therapist at 11:30. I'm slurring and mispronouncing (thank god for spell check) some of my words - and I'm not any pain or anxiety medications. I scrunched up the pillows on her sofa and had my appointment while I was curled up with my eyes closed most of the time.
I picked up difficult child from school. My car has the doors that lock automatically, so when I pick her up I have to unlock the doors. I couldn't find the button to unlock the doors. Instead, I tried all of the window buttons and the window lock button before difficult child pointed to where the lock button is.
Then we came home for a min and left to take her to therapist appointment. I turn the ignition to the point where it does the system check like you're supposed to instead of immediately starting the car. Put on my seatbelt, put the car in reverse and wonder why it won't go. Yeah. Forgot to start the car.
I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. I've been messing up appointments all week. I've had to reschedule 4 things because I double booked myself. And I have all of my appointments written on the calendar.
This is the worst part of this illness. The pain sucks, but I can function. I can't function like this. I'm watching the clock for 4pm when I can pick up difficult child and go to bed.
