I am still alive UPDATE ON US AND husband!!

[missmel3315]

Great to meet you too Big Bad Kitty. And thanks for adding us to your prayer list. I sure can use anything anyone is willing to do to help us. I am really feeling alone right now and this board once again is truly a God Send. I had such a rough day. husband has been doing so good with his bladder and bowel movements until our first night home. That time he wet the bed. I just chalked it up to the fact that he slept so good in our own bed. Well last night and then again this morning he has had two BM's in bed. It is very frustrating as while he was in the LTAC he was so depressed he just gave up for a while and didnt care that he was having accidents. He even asked for a protective undergarment. I dont want him to back slide and impeed his recovery. It also becomes VERY frustrating as there is nothing I can do to make this journey any easier for him. Then the anger boils up and I begin to resent how this marriage has been from the beginning due to his illnesses all of which he could have prevented if he gave a d***. Heck he is back to smoking now that he is out of the hospital. Then comes the pitty party of who the heck is going to take care of me with my health issues. I have four types of arthritis to the point that I can hardly walk anymore due to my hips. I haven't had time to heal from any of the health issues I have had to deal with due to his crap. my neck is still very painfull and the discs are still bulging. My abdomen is still infected and I know if I go back to the surgeon (if he will even see me due to the fact that I was noncompliant due to husband's stroke) he would want to do another surgery. If not it is back to wound therapy three days a week which I cant go to as I am not allowed to leave husband alone. then there is the small stuff like needing someone to hold me when I am so tired and emotionally drained I just want to cry on someone's shoulder. I have made so many sacrifices for him including sending my son across country so I can concentrate on him. I don't even know how I am going to go back to work and I have to work now to pay the bills. Then comes the guilt as this is the promise I made the day I married him in front of our friends and God. "In sickness and health" "for better or worse" "till death do you part". I mean I love him with all my heart and am very very glad we are back together but again I am the one who has had to make all the sacrifices and is responsible for everyone and everything. My oldest son who is graduating from basic training is totally upset because due to the hospital bumping up husband's discharge date I was unable to attend. He is just livid with me.

Geeze here I go again just rambling on like a crazy person. This was supposed to be a thank you post. LOL

I am sorry to be so long winded hope I didnt bore you too much.

HUGS

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Awwww

Hugs right back!

 

[everywoman]

Mel, I'm so sorry that things have gotten so bad. You are such a strong person. I remember admiring your strength when you difficult child had to go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and while he was residing with Janet. It gave me the inspiration to get through some tough times of my own. God bless you and I hope some positive things began to happen in your life.

 

[missmel3315]

thanks everywoman, I never realized that I inspired anyone. I can assure you tho that just about everyone here has amazed me with their strength and tenacity. Today was a milestone day for husband and me as during Occupational Therapist (OT) he stood for the first time without assistance at the sink! I was so thrilled I began to cry. It amazes me the things he can do despite how bad his stroke was. Nobody thought he would ever get as far as h has. It is so hard to see him struggle with even the littlest things tho. I want so desperately to help him but know that by helping him I am hurting his chances for recovery. Also his co-workers have started a fund and raised enough money to build our ramp as well as remodel our bathroom. It has restored my faith in ppl. I will continue to update when I can. In the meantime keep those prayers, good thoughts, and candles burning as they are working!

HUGS

 

[TYLERFAN]

Hi Mel:

I am praying for your recovery and for husband's.
:angel:

Blessings,
Melissa :flower:

 

[missmel3315]

Thanks so much Tylerfan. It is great to hear from you! How are you doing?? Good I hope.

HUGS

 

[susiestar]

Hey missmel! iam so glad to hear from you. I hate that things have continued to be so rough, especially this last horrible stretch! I will pray for you, as will my family. In truth, I knew that since I didn't hear from you something was going on, so I have been praying.

Sit down with your local phone book this week. Call 3 churches on any day. Ask to talk to the pastor or his secretary. Ask them to send someone to help you. Tell them you are not a member, but desperately need help. Tell them WHY - husband's stroke, your continuing ill health. Tell them even just someone one time to help you get the house in order. You can do this sitting next to Cliff. Or laying in hte recliner next to him.

I know it is hard. I am 37, almost 38 with fibro, 2 kinds of arthritis and only 2 kids at home (sent one to live with gma and gpa 2 years ago now). We have one cat and one bird. I cannot even cook every night. If family wants to argue your medications, send them to me. Boy will I burn their ears. If they can't help out they can't criticize. period. You can tell them I said so.

((((((((HUGS))))))))

Susie

 

[Sunlight]

just want you to know I read your post, and I care. miss seeing you around here. glad you and Cliff are rocks for one another to cling to in the storm that has lashed at your lives.

 

[TerryJ2]

In the meantime keep those prayers, good thoughts, and candles burning as they are working!

HUGS


Absolutely!!!!

 

[Star*]

Hi ya Mel, it's me Star

Sure I read the whole post. I wish there were something I could say to make you laugh or take your mind off of the problems you've gone through. Truly that which does not take your life makes you stronger. I'm amazed at the resillience you both have.

I am also sorry about your MRSA. I'm sure that is what you got too. My DF got staph from the hospital here after surgery for his broken back. Due to the antibiotic regiem he was on for 3 months, we had to have all his teeth pulled last week. The antibiotics (according to his orthodontist) killed the roots. He had a picture line in with IV's round the clock 2x a day for 3 months.


And then the wicked witch of the North wants child support? What the he.. I liked BW's comment that maybe she is only thinking of her children's future, but how crass. And with what money does she expect him to pay for this with? Yeah, I know...disability. We do the same here. Except my DF's "child" was paid for till 18, put through college on his bill. The ex wife met me and decided that I would pay to keep DF out of jail so she started procedings for "adult" child support. The kind that is from 18-? if your child goes to school. Didn't matter he paid for the college. IT wasn't on the record.

sOOOOO THIS IS WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND HUH? Well from here on out....good Juju for you and hubby and hex for a huge wart on someones greedy nose.

Hugs & Love
Star

 

[rejectedmom]

Missmel, I am not on the board much these days but I do remember you and was very sorry to read of all your troubles. May God grant you and yours brighter days in the near future.
-RM

 

[lovemysons]

WOW...You and Cliff have been through so much.
Said a prayer for healing to continue.

hugs and care,
Tammy