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I am the mother of a beautiful 19 year old daughter. Her father was emotionally and verbally abusive
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 748566" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Welcome- we have all been in similar situations here and understand. I have been in a situation much like yours with my daughter who is now 28. When my daughter was 14 she and her stepmother got into a horrible argument and she called and told me she would run away if I didn't pick her up. I talked to her father and convinced him to let her come stay at my house for a month or two (we had shared custody) to let things cool off. Well, he and his wife packed up everything of my daughter's and dropped it all off at my house and she never went back to his house. Of course this damaged her. She was already a risk taker, but after that it was one mess after another. She became pregnant by her abusive boyfriend and had my granddaughter when she was 19. Those next five years were a nightmare. Her life was complete chaos and there was a child in the mix. She was completely irrational and disrespectful with me. I tried a couple of times to let them stay at my house, but nothing changed. My granddaughter was little the final time I kicked my daughter out for not following the basic rules of my home. There were several times that we were estranged. It has been hell, but I learned to focus on myself. Since my daughter is an adult I can't control her behavior, only she can. So once I learned to focus on my life, health and happiness things between us got better. She is in a much better place now. She's not where I would like her to be, but it's not up to me. I have learned to maintain my peace of mind no matter what is going on with her. I learned healthy boundaries and how to maintain them. I learned to really look at my role in the problems, my co-dependence and my reactions. The only thing I can control is my life. Once I really grasped that and started working on myself I was much more well-equipped to deal with my own stress and worry in regard to my daughter's life choices. I know how very difficult this is. Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 748566, member: 11235"] Welcome- we have all been in similar situations here and understand. I have been in a situation much like yours with my daughter who is now 28. When my daughter was 14 she and her stepmother got into a horrible argument and she called and told me she would run away if I didn't pick her up. I talked to her father and convinced him to let her come stay at my house for a month or two (we had shared custody) to let things cool off. Well, he and his wife packed up everything of my daughter's and dropped it all off at my house and she never went back to his house. Of course this damaged her. She was already a risk taker, but after that it was one mess after another. She became pregnant by her abusive boyfriend and had my granddaughter when she was 19. Those next five years were a nightmare. Her life was complete chaos and there was a child in the mix. She was completely irrational and disrespectful with me. I tried a couple of times to let them stay at my house, but nothing changed. My granddaughter was little the final time I kicked my daughter out for not following the basic rules of my home. There were several times that we were estranged. It has been hell, but I learned to focus on myself. Since my daughter is an adult I can't control her behavior, only she can. So once I learned to focus on my life, health and happiness things between us got better. She is in a much better place now. She's not where I would like her to be, but it's not up to me. I have learned to maintain my peace of mind no matter what is going on with her. I learned healthy boundaries and how to maintain them. I learned to really look at my role in the problems, my co-dependence and my reactions. The only thing I can control is my life. Once I really grasped that and started working on myself I was much more well-equipped to deal with my own stress and worry in regard to my daughter's life choices. I know how very difficult this is. Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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I am the mother of a beautiful 19 year old daughter. Her father was emotionally and verbally abusive
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