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I broke down..
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 43257" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A lot of this sounds like typical teen. Or if it's not, then my easy child kid(s) are not so easy child after all. But I remember my childhood - when my mother was not in earshot we would fight like Kilkenny cats. Or at least the older ones would; I'd just sit and take notes.</p><p></p><p>When they do it with me - I walk out. I go for a walk, I take my keys and simply go and sit in the bush for a while (that's 'bush' as in 'Aussie bush', or forest). They can't come looking for me because it's a big country, it's easy to hide. Sometimes I visit a friend instead, it all depends on what time of day it is. The thing is, I remove myself. I'm no longer an audience, I'm no longer a target and I'm no longer the provider. I have just gone on strike. And they'd better be nice to me if they want me to do all the little, fussy things I usually do. </p><p></p><p>When I come back, I stop at the door and assess the situation. Kids still yelling? I leave again. All quiet except for sobbing from respective bedrooms? Hmm, more hopeful. I'll come in and make a cup of coffee. If I'm met at the door with grievances or complaints about "Where have you been? We were worried sick about you!" I get ready to walk out again. Generally they know why I walked out and if they haven't got the message, a second walk out will do it. I also act surprised that they haven't begun to fix dinner yet, if they really were worried that I'd gone.</p><p></p><p>I figure it pays to keep them off balance and not so certain I'm always there to provide for their every whim. I want them to THINK about just how much I do for them in little ways, so they can realise they'd better get their act together and shift their own rear ends if they want those needs to continue to be met.</p><p></p><p>If I'm REALLY cranky and they're sufficiently contrite, I'll use the situation as an opportunity for them to use my recipe book and prepare dinner, entirely without me, since I'm feeling so unappreciated. I know I said I don't use emotional blackmail, so I don't pile it on thick - but I do want them to have a wake-up call and do something for themselves. I'll only slave over a hot stove if it's appreciated; if I'm feeling unappreciated they're on their own. I'll talk them through a recipe, but they know they've stretched my patience thin and will tiptoe around me for a while.</p><p></p><p>Hey, it works for me.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 43257, member: 1991"] A lot of this sounds like typical teen. Or if it's not, then my easy child kid(s) are not so easy child after all. But I remember my childhood - when my mother was not in earshot we would fight like Kilkenny cats. Or at least the older ones would; I'd just sit and take notes. When they do it with me - I walk out. I go for a walk, I take my keys and simply go and sit in the bush for a while (that's 'bush' as in 'Aussie bush', or forest). They can't come looking for me because it's a big country, it's easy to hide. Sometimes I visit a friend instead, it all depends on what time of day it is. The thing is, I remove myself. I'm no longer an audience, I'm no longer a target and I'm no longer the provider. I have just gone on strike. And they'd better be nice to me if they want me to do all the little, fussy things I usually do. When I come back, I stop at the door and assess the situation. Kids still yelling? I leave again. All quiet except for sobbing from respective bedrooms? Hmm, more hopeful. I'll come in and make a cup of coffee. If I'm met at the door with grievances or complaints about "Where have you been? We were worried sick about you!" I get ready to walk out again. Generally they know why I walked out and if they haven't got the message, a second walk out will do it. I also act surprised that they haven't begun to fix dinner yet, if they really were worried that I'd gone. I figure it pays to keep them off balance and not so certain I'm always there to provide for their every whim. I want them to THINK about just how much I do for them in little ways, so they can realise they'd better get their act together and shift their own rear ends if they want those needs to continue to be met. If I'm REALLY cranky and they're sufficiently contrite, I'll use the situation as an opportunity for them to use my recipe book and prepare dinner, entirely without me, since I'm feeling so unappreciated. I know I said I don't use emotional blackmail, so I don't pile it on thick - but I do want them to have a wake-up call and do something for themselves. I'll only slave over a hot stove if it's appreciated; if I'm feeling unappreciated they're on their own. I'll talk them through a recipe, but they know they've stretched my patience thin and will tiptoe around me for a while. Hey, it works for me. Marg [/QUOTE]
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