myfirstandlast
Member
Couldn't take any more.
DS-12 had horrible encopretic issues on Saturday. (We were away from home.) He left a strong scent on the chair next to me during a performance (I had to stay to watch daughter-10 perform) that was so bad that 20 minutes after he left to go sit by his P-grandma his chair still stunk nauseatingly bad.
He'd been having issues all week, and refusing to bathe, and refusing to take his fouled laundry downstairs. I'd asked and asked. Finally, Saturday night, after getting home and finding a fresh STAIN in the back seat of my new car, I snapped. Made a big deal about the problem, which has not improved since seeing the gastrointerologist (the only change he made, is he takes the mineral oil at night -- no diet changes at all) and seems to actually be worse lately, and about his lack of self-care and the impact it has on him and his whole family, struggling with odor issues. How it is absolutely unbelievable to me that no one at school mentions it. How he was going to DO HIS OWN LAUNDRY now.
It was a big trigger. He was mad, barricaded his door again with his mattress. I went to bed, exhausted. He slept on his floor.
In the morning, AS ALWAYS, he is acting as if nothing happened, on the computer downstairs, still hasn't showered, still hasn't started his laundry or even taken it down. I kicked him off the computer and told him why, and the raging began. From about 9 am until after 2 pm he was combative, screaming, stomping, destructive, verbally nasty, etc. while I'm using every resource, every trick I know, walking away when I'm so upset I can't talk, calling for advice, just at wit's end.
He once again claims he is blowing up so that I'll let him go live with his P-grandma.
I finally called the local emergency mental health facility and dragged him in for a psychiatric evaluation. Knowing that he could be hospitalized. He has calmed down dramatically in the time it took to get to the facility, and the unexplained wait of over an hour to be seen. He is still going from quiet and withdrawn to laughing WITH me and my husband about some funny photos we were talking about together, engaging in the conversation and everything -- right back to sulking and making mean gestures at me. I talked to him very quietly and seriously about what happens next. He is still demanding I let him move in with grandma and that he won't stop acting out until I allow him. I say over and over that is not an option, it will never be an option. You either come home, and life changes DRAMATICALLY from this day on, or you go to the hospital, and you don't leave until the doctors say you can. Even if you call me and beg, I CAN'T come and get you unless the doctors let me. Period.
Shock therapy.
He was very compliant after this convo. They said we could go home, if we were comfortable with taking him home, and get him into out-patient therapy ASAP (I have an appointment for this Thursday that I made after that last explosion I posted about).
The psychiatric on staff told me privately, the facility that they recommended for his actions and emotional state, wouldn't even take him, being encopretic!!! OMG ... what if we hadn't been able to rationalize with him??!
Exhausted and stressed beyond belief in the middle of nowhere.
DS-12 had horrible encopretic issues on Saturday. (We were away from home.) He left a strong scent on the chair next to me during a performance (I had to stay to watch daughter-10 perform) that was so bad that 20 minutes after he left to go sit by his P-grandma his chair still stunk nauseatingly bad.
He'd been having issues all week, and refusing to bathe, and refusing to take his fouled laundry downstairs. I'd asked and asked. Finally, Saturday night, after getting home and finding a fresh STAIN in the back seat of my new car, I snapped. Made a big deal about the problem, which has not improved since seeing the gastrointerologist (the only change he made, is he takes the mineral oil at night -- no diet changes at all) and seems to actually be worse lately, and about his lack of self-care and the impact it has on him and his whole family, struggling with odor issues. How it is absolutely unbelievable to me that no one at school mentions it. How he was going to DO HIS OWN LAUNDRY now.
It was a big trigger. He was mad, barricaded his door again with his mattress. I went to bed, exhausted. He slept on his floor.
In the morning, AS ALWAYS, he is acting as if nothing happened, on the computer downstairs, still hasn't showered, still hasn't started his laundry or even taken it down. I kicked him off the computer and told him why, and the raging began. From about 9 am until after 2 pm he was combative, screaming, stomping, destructive, verbally nasty, etc. while I'm using every resource, every trick I know, walking away when I'm so upset I can't talk, calling for advice, just at wit's end.
He once again claims he is blowing up so that I'll let him go live with his P-grandma.
I finally called the local emergency mental health facility and dragged him in for a psychiatric evaluation. Knowing that he could be hospitalized. He has calmed down dramatically in the time it took to get to the facility, and the unexplained wait of over an hour to be seen. He is still going from quiet and withdrawn to laughing WITH me and my husband about some funny photos we were talking about together, engaging in the conversation and everything -- right back to sulking and making mean gestures at me. I talked to him very quietly and seriously about what happens next. He is still demanding I let him move in with grandma and that he won't stop acting out until I allow him. I say over and over that is not an option, it will never be an option. You either come home, and life changes DRAMATICALLY from this day on, or you go to the hospital, and you don't leave until the doctors say you can. Even if you call me and beg, I CAN'T come and get you unless the doctors let me. Period.
Shock therapy.
He was very compliant after this convo. They said we could go home, if we were comfortable with taking him home, and get him into out-patient therapy ASAP (I have an appointment for this Thursday that I made after that last explosion I posted about).
The psychiatric on staff told me privately, the facility that they recommended for his actions and emotional state, wouldn't even take him, being encopretic!!! OMG ... what if we hadn't been able to rationalize with him??!
Exhausted and stressed beyond belief in the middle of nowhere.