LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
k, please check in with us this morning and let us know how the night went last night.
Sharon
Sharon
I called police
- Thread starter klmno
- Start date
klmno
Active Member
I'm fine, thanks for asking. difficult child ate after his shower and we only talked for a few mins after that then he went to bed. I stayed up for a while to make sure he was staying inside and sleeping, then I went to bed and we both slept late this morning. His best friend is not at home this weekend so hopefully difficult child will stay in like he should.
I have to say that I'm pleased he has not become aggressive with me or made any physical threats since coming home. He hit the wall once last week, enlarging a pre-existing hole and that wasn't good but there's been a lot of improvement made in anger management. When he first came home last night I didn't have my cigs in my pocket like I've been keeping them and he grabbed them, I looked at him and sighed, he said never mind and gave them back to me.
Our talk last night focused on me not stopping him- because I can't at his age. He always wanted to be the age where he had control of his own life- well, he's there. (I understand he's not 18 yo yet, but he is the only one that can choose which direction to make his life go at this point.) It doesn't mean I don't care or that people don't want to help him if he's making good choices. He apparently is making a shift in the way he had been seeing things- like he's supposed to push boundaries and I'm supposed to stop him if I care about him. I can't stop him. I still care.
I have to say that I'm pleased he has not become aggressive with me or made any physical threats since coming home. He hit the wall once last week, enlarging a pre-existing hole and that wasn't good but there's been a lot of improvement made in anger management. When he first came home last night I didn't have my cigs in my pocket like I've been keeping them and he grabbed them, I looked at him and sighed, he said never mind and gave them back to me.
Our talk last night focused on me not stopping him- because I can't at his age. He always wanted to be the age where he had control of his own life- well, he's there. (I understand he's not 18 yo yet, but he is the only one that can choose which direction to make his life go at this point.) It doesn't mean I don't care or that people don't want to help him if he's making good choices. He apparently is making a shift in the way he had been seeing things- like he's supposed to push boundaries and I'm supposed to stop him if I care about him. I can't stop him. I still care.
Last edited:
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Sometimes I think my difficult child 1 is still in this mindset, which smacks of dependence of a sort. I'm glad you see a shift in your difficult child away from this. It shows he IS growing and CAN change.
klmno
Active Member
Well I hope I wasn't being too optimistic by saying he IS making this transition- it's probably a lot more accurate to say he was asking about these things and I was trying to explain why I'm not taking the same approach that I did when he was 11-13yo and in middle school. Plus, me trying to stop him when he's determined to break the rules only creates more animosity and determination and justification in his mind.
Natural consequences right now- difficult child is sick this morning. Not too bad but I'm trying to nip it in the bud with OTC medications because we have no medication insurance yet. The bad part is between that and him staying in the house has him pretty cranky. I'm not so sure he's going to make it even between now and this appointment with PO next week without violating again. I can see how it would be difficult to live, eat, and sleep (figuratively) with peers 24/7 for over a year, then go straight to an environment where you are only around them at school. However, that was to be temporary and difficult child could have done it. I pray he's gotten some things out of his system- he told me last night that as bad as this sounds, the past week had been the most fun in his life. Besides any possible drug involvement, everything else he would have been allowed to do if he'd just waited. Well- he wouldn't have been able to roam outside in the middle of the night but he could have had or gone to sleep-overs and hung out with friends, etc.
Natural consequences right now- difficult child is sick this morning. Not too bad but I'm trying to nip it in the bud with OTC medications because we have no medication insurance yet. The bad part is between that and him staying in the house has him pretty cranky. I'm not so sure he's going to make it even between now and this appointment with PO next week without violating again. I can see how it would be difficult to live, eat, and sleep (figuratively) with peers 24/7 for over a year, then go straight to an environment where you are only around them at school. However, that was to be temporary and difficult child could have done it. I pray he's gotten some things out of his system- he told me last night that as bad as this sounds, the past week had been the most fun in his life. Besides any possible drug involvement, everything else he would have been allowed to do if he'd just waited. Well- he wouldn't have been able to roam outside in the middle of the night but he could have had or gone to sleep-overs and hung out with friends, etc.
