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I called the police
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 208398" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm sorry you had such a ghastly time of it, Terry.</p><p></p><p>A suggestion for future reference - when we know our kids haven't had their medications, we drop expectations. Basket B stuff becomes Basket C. We also take mental note that the short fuse they normally have is probably so short as to have virtually no length to it at all, so we avoid walking around with the equivalent of an ignition source.</p><p></p><p>With 20:20 hindsight, asking him to clean his room before going out was probably not going to work, if he didn't have his medications. We used to get bad rebound if difficult child 1 missed his medications, a common problem with school having to dispense medications during the day and NEVER chasing him up. "The students must learn to be personally responsible and turn up for their medications on schedule" which is ludicrous when you consider that for most of these kids, REMEMBERING to turn up for their medications is part of the trouble especially when medications are wearing off!</p><p></p><p>So the problems we observed included violence, aggression, anger and a great deal of stubbornness and refusal. I could have very easily escalated it to dangerously violent levels. </p><p></p><p>Our difficult children are NOT normal. One good thing from this is your son now realises this. For now. So strike while the iron is hot and take him to a doctor and get him to repeat this with a medical witness! If he forgets or gets complacent, gently remind him that smashing the phone off the wall when you are entitled to be calling for help, is NOT normal nor is it healthy; it must be dealt with and a medical solution should be far more acceptable, than considering that he is simply a bad person - which I suspect he is not. Support him in considering the medical solution first, before seeing himself as a sociopath. Because a sociopath wouldn't have broken down and said, "I agree, there is something wrong."</p><p></p><p>Although we've spent a number of occasions when medications were not dispensed by tiptoeing around the house and trying to not raise an earthquake, I still think it is the better option by far, than to try to carry on as normal and trigger damage.</p><p></p><p>If you're using "Explosive Child" methods, an unmedicated kid HAS to change the goal posts. Your child will be far more likely to explode with much less provocation; I do think it is OUR responsibility to change our tack for the day and work to avoid explosions.</p><p></p><p>OK, so his room will be messy for a day. If he has twice as much to clean up next day, so be it. Because if he rages, it makes a much worse mess.</p><p></p><p>In summary - it's easy for me to say this because I'm standing further away and looking on, but for future reference, if for any reason he is less capable of holding things together, then drop your standards for him until he is back on board. If he had been throwing up all night with a gastric bug, would you have asked him to tidy his room?</p><p></p><p>And that's another thing to remember - a gastric bug can also interfere with medication absorption. And ANYTHING that reduces medications on board, needs to require us to change how we handle our kids - like about ten sticks of sweaty gelignite!</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 208398, member: 1991"] I'm sorry you had such a ghastly time of it, Terry. A suggestion for future reference - when we know our kids haven't had their medications, we drop expectations. Basket B stuff becomes Basket C. We also take mental note that the short fuse they normally have is probably so short as to have virtually no length to it at all, so we avoid walking around with the equivalent of an ignition source. With 20:20 hindsight, asking him to clean his room before going out was probably not going to work, if he didn't have his medications. We used to get bad rebound if difficult child 1 missed his medications, a common problem with school having to dispense medications during the day and NEVER chasing him up. "The students must learn to be personally responsible and turn up for their medications on schedule" which is ludicrous when you consider that for most of these kids, REMEMBERING to turn up for their medications is part of the trouble especially when medications are wearing off! So the problems we observed included violence, aggression, anger and a great deal of stubbornness and refusal. I could have very easily escalated it to dangerously violent levels. Our difficult children are NOT normal. One good thing from this is your son now realises this. For now. So strike while the iron is hot and take him to a doctor and get him to repeat this with a medical witness! If he forgets or gets complacent, gently remind him that smashing the phone off the wall when you are entitled to be calling for help, is NOT normal nor is it healthy; it must be dealt with and a medical solution should be far more acceptable, than considering that he is simply a bad person - which I suspect he is not. Support him in considering the medical solution first, before seeing himself as a sociopath. Because a sociopath wouldn't have broken down and said, "I agree, there is something wrong." Although we've spent a number of occasions when medications were not dispensed by tiptoeing around the house and trying to not raise an earthquake, I still think it is the better option by far, than to try to carry on as normal and trigger damage. If you're using "Explosive Child" methods, an unmedicated kid HAS to change the goal posts. Your child will be far more likely to explode with much less provocation; I do think it is OUR responsibility to change our tack for the day and work to avoid explosions. OK, so his room will be messy for a day. If he has twice as much to clean up next day, so be it. Because if he rages, it makes a much worse mess. In summary - it's easy for me to say this because I'm standing further away and looking on, but for future reference, if for any reason he is less capable of holding things together, then drop your standards for him until he is back on board. If he had been throwing up all night with a gastric bug, would you have asked him to tidy his room? And that's another thing to remember - a gastric bug can also interfere with medication absorption. And ANYTHING that reduces medications on board, needs to require us to change how we handle our kids - like about ten sticks of sweaty gelignite! Hugs. Marg [/QUOTE]
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