I am the mother of 3 children... 2 difficult child boys, ages 9 and 10, and a 5 year old easy child. Not a day goes by that I don't have some type of trial with the boys, no matter what I try. I am at my wit's end, and have NO CLUE what else to try, what else to do... I know that I should pick my battles, but the ones I feel are worth fighting over are health and hygiene issues... as well as safety. My boys seem to be allergic to the shower... I "remind" them every night that they need to take showers... Most of the time they ignore me. I get a little more persistant, and soon it blows up into a tantrum and I end up with holes in the walls. Their feet stink, their armpits stink, their hair gets greasy, and THEY DON'T CARE. Safety: I need to know where they are... In this day and age, it is stupid to just let them run around the town without having some sort of curfew, whether it be "come home at dark" or "supper is at 6:30, or "you need to come home right after school so we can plan our night..." They are supposed to come home after school, drop off their backpacks and make sure their chores are done, and then they can go out and play if they aren't on punishment. It doesn't happen. There is a city-wide siren that sounds at 6pm every night. I tried telling them to come home as soon as they hear it... Their response "I didn't hear it." YEAH RIGHT. They don't come home, they don't care if we have plans or appointments or supper or company coming... I go look for them, and they hide, coming home whenever they darn well please. Health: Regular meals are important... I don't, however, run a restaurant. I expect them to be home for supper. Doesn't happen. Then they go to school and say that I refuse to feed them... Not the case, but I do expect that either they eat what I cook or they make something by themselves... I am not cooking 5 meals for 5 people. Sleep is also high on my list of priorities. Bedtime is 8:30. Has been for years. Most nights, they are still up at 1 or 2 in the morning, and are HORRIBLE in the morning, but I don't give in and let them stay home... They chose to stay up and disobey me, they can be tired in school... #2 son's teacher jumped on me about him falling asleep one day in school... Imagine her surprise when I told her it was because he had been up until 4 that morning... She said that I had to make him go to bed earlier........ REALLY? Cuz I am pretty sure I "allowed" him to stay up that late. I told her to describe for me the steps I would need to take in order to force a 9 year old to go to sleep... She didn't know what to say. "tell him it is bedtime." My response: I DO. Every night at 8:30. NEVER HAPPENS, They don't care. They don't care, they have no respect, they have no boundaries, and though they are my children and I will always love them, I sure don't like them very much sometimes. Is that wrong? Am I a horrible mother? Not a day goes by that I am not told that I am hated, they flat out refuse to listen and do ANYTHING to help anyone out. They are the most selfish children I have ever met, and I have NO CLUE what I did wrong... or how to fix it. I called Social services to see if maybe they could help me out... they never returned my call after taking my intake information. I called again. Still nothing. I called again...then I got a letter from my oldest son's therapist's office, where they did his ADHD diagnosis...Social services wanted permission to access his medical records. Ummm, I asked you to call me 3 times so that I could describe my life to you, and you refused to call me back, and now you want me to sign a release for you? Probably not going to happen. Help me! I have no clue where to go or what to do, and I am tired of fighting and crying and feeling like a failure. I am tired of my kids hating me, and I hate the fact that I dread the weekend because I know it is going to be nothing but a war at home. My second son threatens to kill us all... and I am afraid of BOTH of them because it is like they have NO conscience... Most of my energy goes to protecting my daughter from the boys. I don't know where to turn.