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I Can't Do This Anymore!
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 351880" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>If you feel that he is entering or is in a crisis state, you can look into a children psychiatric hospital. His therapist should be sharing this option with you so you can put it into play when needed. An inpatient treatment would be a crash course in getting him on the right medications and give him some tools to deal with his emotions. He can be taken to an ER during one of his meltdowns and evaluated for admission or you can call and talk to the admissions officer to ask for an assessment for their services. Some places have several different options of services from inpatient to partial day treatment to outpatient. Their assessment will determine if one of those are needed. The inpatient will stablize him - you will still have work ahead of you to keep him stable but it is a great start and if he will accept the tools he learns, he will most likely feel better about himself and hopefully want to continue on the path to wellness.</p><p> </p><p>I think increasing the therapy to once per week is in order also. We started with once per week and stayed there for over a year before going to every other week and once a month. If an issue came up, we would increase again just to deal with that episode. I really think that once a week would help. Go ahead and write down the troubling behaviors each day - keep track of the situations and times. I had a planner that I used as a daily journal - I wrote down what time I gave medications, when he got up, when he went to bed, what time the nasty behavior took place, any situation around the behavior (didn't like what mom said, angry that he didn't get to be first in line, ect.). I find that I sometimes get flustered when recalling something - I have a hard time remembering the details that I think are important so I would write in the journal every day what I thought was important (or even if I wasn't sure). Are you sharing with the therapist the hysterical laughter and crazy eyes?</p><p> </p><p>Detaching for your son would be to learn that his behavior is not a reflection of you in anyway. Don't let him make you feel that you are at fault in any way. When our children are on us constantly and wearing us down, we do feel like we want to throw up our hands and surrender. Often times we will start to doubt ourselves and look for blame in what we may have done. This is my child, what did I do to make this happen? But there is nothing we did. Our child is who he or she is. Everyone is human, everyone has their challenges. Our kids try to make theirs ours and we must not accept that they are totaly ours to solve. We can help guide them, but we can not take their problems away from them. The child needs to take ownership in who he or she is and be responsible for their own decisions. They also need to respect you as a person. We want to do ANYTHING that will give some indication of peace. And though we know there will not be a quick fix, it is too hard to face if there is no hope or plan on how to continue. If we don't have that hope, there are many days that we will succumb to the short term peace which can only make things worse such as giving into whatever our child wants just to have quiet for five minutes.</p><p> </p><p>Consider the advise of others here - they know far more than I do regarding the different medications, diagnosis, IEP, 504, ect. </p><p> </p><p>You may want to look in your local library for a book called "The Manipulative Child". Many times those kids who will just not back down until they get their way are practicing manipulation. That book will give you a technique to use to remain in control of the situation. What I really love about this book is that it is not judgemental. It acknowledges that this is a survival technique and just because it is used by the child does not make that child a bad kid. Most kids will try to use some form of manipulation and it is something that parents just seem to fall into allowing without recognizing it until it becomes a monster. This book may not be the total solution, but I do believe it will help give you strength to keep your emotions in your control. I do know exactly what you mean about being emotionally involved - I too get so very overly emotional when it come to my kids' emotions. We are tied to our kids - when they hurt, we feel it so deeply and kind of shut down on our own in a way. I wish I would have read this book when my daughter was much much younger.</p><p> </p><p>I know how it feels to miss your sweet son. I have a sweet daughter full of laughter that I miss dearly. I see glimpses of her once in awhile and do feel a great hope for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 351880, member: 5096"] If you feel that he is entering or is in a crisis state, you can look into a children psychiatric hospital. His therapist should be sharing this option with you so you can put it into play when needed. An inpatient treatment would be a crash course in getting him on the right medications and give him some tools to deal with his emotions. He can be taken to an ER during one of his meltdowns and evaluated for admission or you can call and talk to the admissions officer to ask for an assessment for their services. Some places have several different options of services from inpatient to partial day treatment to outpatient. Their assessment will determine if one of those are needed. The inpatient will stablize him - you will still have work ahead of you to keep him stable but it is a great start and if he will accept the tools he learns, he will most likely feel better about himself and hopefully want to continue on the path to wellness. I think increasing the therapy to once per week is in order also. We started with once per week and stayed there for over a year before going to every other week and once a month. If an issue came up, we would increase again just to deal with that episode. I really think that once a week would help. Go ahead and write down the troubling behaviors each day - keep track of the situations and times. I had a planner that I used as a daily journal - I wrote down what time I gave medications, when he got up, when he went to bed, what time the nasty behavior took place, any situation around the behavior (didn't like what mom said, angry that he didn't get to be first in line, ect.). I find that I sometimes get flustered when recalling something - I have a hard time remembering the details that I think are important so I would write in the journal every day what I thought was important (or even if I wasn't sure). Are you sharing with the therapist the hysterical laughter and crazy eyes? Detaching for your son would be to learn that his behavior is not a reflection of you in anyway. Don't let him make you feel that you are at fault in any way. When our children are on us constantly and wearing us down, we do feel like we want to throw up our hands and surrender. Often times we will start to doubt ourselves and look for blame in what we may have done. This is my child, what did I do to make this happen? But there is nothing we did. Our child is who he or she is. Everyone is human, everyone has their challenges. Our kids try to make theirs ours and we must not accept that they are totaly ours to solve. We can help guide them, but we can not take their problems away from them. The child needs to take ownership in who he or she is and be responsible for their own decisions. They also need to respect you as a person. We want to do ANYTHING that will give some indication of peace. And though we know there will not be a quick fix, it is too hard to face if there is no hope or plan on how to continue. If we don't have that hope, there are many days that we will succumb to the short term peace which can only make things worse such as giving into whatever our child wants just to have quiet for five minutes. Consider the advise of others here - they know far more than I do regarding the different medications, diagnosis, IEP, 504, ect. You may want to look in your local library for a book called "The Manipulative Child". Many times those kids who will just not back down until they get their way are practicing manipulation. That book will give you a technique to use to remain in control of the situation. What I really love about this book is that it is not judgemental. It acknowledges that this is a survival technique and just because it is used by the child does not make that child a bad kid. Most kids will try to use some form of manipulation and it is something that parents just seem to fall into allowing without recognizing it until it becomes a monster. This book may not be the total solution, but I do believe it will help give you strength to keep your emotions in your control. I do know exactly what you mean about being emotionally involved - I too get so very overly emotional when it come to my kids' emotions. We are tied to our kids - when they hurt, we feel it so deeply and kind of shut down on our own in a way. I wish I would have read this book when my daughter was much much younger. I know how it feels to miss your sweet son. I have a sweet daughter full of laughter that I miss dearly. I see glimpses of her once in awhile and do feel a great hope for her. [/QUOTE]
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