I can't do this.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I can't. I can't listen to my son ring the doorbell and knock and knock on windows and yell and talk and keep this up for a solid hour. I can't let him in, but I can't not let him in. I can't watch him walk away, down the street, in the rain and cold. I can't see that he's calling all kinds of people to help him find a place to stay. I can't keep talking to police and judges and lawyers and doctors.

    I just can't.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'm very sorry.

    I recommend calling the Missouri chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness first thing tomorrow morning. NAMI staff can direct you to help for your son and support for you. You can't keep going on like this. Both of you deserve better.

    The contact information for the Missouri state chapter and local affiliate offices can be found here:

    Hang in there.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm so sorry. I hope you get some help for you and for him.
  4. idohope

    idohope Member

    Hugs during this hard time.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry, this is really tough - stay strong.


  6. robinm1922

    robinm1922 One day at a time

    I am so sorry you are going through this. Just wanted to send my support and cyber hug!
  7. Usha

    Usha hopethroughunderstanding

    Oh God, I'm sooo sorry. Can feel your anguish. Here's hoping ferventlythat some relief comes your way.
  8. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Finally reached the psychiatrist. He said to take difficult child to the ER, they will do an evaluation. Sound familiar??? THIS time, tho, the psychiatrist said he WOULD ADMIT him.

    Of course, I've been texting difficult child and he won't go. Figures. They couldn't do it Friday?? Or yesterday when he took his own butt down there?? WTH??????????

    Now what do I do??
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He's under age, so can you report him as a missing and mentally ill child and get the police involved to help you find and transport him?
  10. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Maybe. I went over to the police station and talked to them for quite a bit. They are all familiar with our situation and think the CD diagnosis is bogus - they think it should be Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and the heck with "18". Have to say, I agree. At any rate, if he comes back home, they said to call and they'll pick him and take him in. Last I heard he was out of their jurisdiction.

    Also found out that I CAN get an order of protection against him, at 17, my own son. Nice, huh?

    Besides texting, he also called just now and said he he'd GONE to the psychiatrist's office. Huh? Have a call in to them, again.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arg. I am so sorry.
    So the police think it's Auditory Processing Disorders (APD)? Interesting. Glad you were able to talk to them for a while and get things straight.
    You don't really want an order of protection, you just want an order of "go live your own life." Like there really is such a thing.
    Many, many hugs.
    Good luck with-the psychiatrist. I hope he really went.
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending many hugs and lots of supportive strength.
  13. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    DJO called, said yes, police could pick him up and transport. I'm trying to get him to come over for "money". He's not buying it, so far, but the money will probably win out.

    I'm either doing better with this or I'm so tired I don't know WHAT I'm doing.....
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    If the money ploy works, I hope the cops can get there quietly without spooking him into running. Maybe you could alert them he's on his way over and they could wait around the corner?
  15. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I'll try to be brief:

    He came over for money. I called 911. They put me on hold.

    difficult child left. The police called me back. Said they could do nothing.

    I called the DJO, left a message. Called the psychiatrist's office and raised Cain. psychiatrist's office said Intake would call me; psychiatrist's office called again and said they'd talked to Intake, and that a CIT officer - crisis - was going to call me, then pick up difficult child and take him to the hospital.

    The CIT officer called. Said he can't do anything. Said a lot of things that didn't make sense, like they'd called the Family Court and the court refused to "take" the case, a case they've already had for A YEAR! Suggested I call NAMI.

    So nothing can be done. At all.

    I emailed my attorney tonight, and he called. Tomorrow we'll try to emancipate difficult child, or do what passes for that here. I'm not hopeful. But I AM tired, so should be able to sleep.
  16. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Ludicrous! Absolutely ludicrous! I'm so sorry. I can imagine you must feel completely done with all this mess. It shouldn't be this hard to get someone help who needs it so badly.
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I am so sorry.
  18. momslove

    momslove Battle Weary

    I'm not completely familiar with your situation as I've been away from the board for a long time... but still, I just wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you're going through a terrible time trying to get some much needed help for your son... I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))
  19. Sherrisworld

    Sherrisworld Guest

    I understand that your difficult child is 17 and can over power you but isn't there anyone that you could use to help you grab him up and take him to the hospital?
    I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel....what you're going through has always been my biggest fear but being my 19 yr old difficult child is totally dependent on me makes it easier for me to control.
    Will he be able to prove that he can be self supporting in order to emancipate him? To emancipate an individual they have to prove that they have a safe place to live and have a job to support himself.
    I had some issues in the past with different agencies that wouldn't do what they were supposed to do and I contacted my states representative to complain - they investigated and then corrected the problems, I can't say enough about my states rep. Maybe yours could help you????
    You have my prayers and hugs. Good luck.
  20. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    i do think you should get to NAMI. If the website has a contact number, this person might be able to give you some refererral sources. Go to a mtg. and you are likely to get more referrals and some ideas.
    The problem is what to do right now. Hopefully, the situation has settled at least a little. If you call the number and/or go to a mtg. you should be able to have more resources at your disposal for the next difficult child "go around."
    If drugs are involved, you might also try Al-Anon or Families Anonymous. Don't do this alone, it's tooooo stressful.
    And of course, if it becomes overwhelming, do consider the services of a professional therapist. It is something many of us have found to be helpful. None of us moms were prepared for this burden.
    Sending good thoughts.