I completely ruined Thanksgiving and I feel so guilty

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
Yeah well I'm really hoping the family will be hush hush at the Christmas party. My boyfriend will be there and I am hoping they would have enough respect to not saying anything. I'm really afraid they will see me drinking a diet coke and one of them will say, "OH you're not drinking tonight? Thank GOD after what happened last time." My niece, who is only twenty four and VERY immature for her age will most likely say something like this. So you're right, Star, I think I need to have a little talk with my mom who then needs to have a talk with my other family members to tell them to keep hush hush about what happened. Hopefully nobody will say anything. Hopefully.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Isn't it fun when not only do we live with difficult children of our own, but... we have difficult children for extended family members too?
(not)
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Your other option is to hire a big burley biker or a pro wrestler.....and have them stand over you while you ENJOY Christmas. I'm available that week as luck would have it and I'm known to sport a right sharp tongue. However....Like I said I think a VERY classy exit strategy will work best in your favor. EVEN -----perhaps practice with someone you trust to throw zingers at you and see what you can come up with to ward off the evil spirits.....literally and figuratively.

Something like -----(and I'm just playing here beacuse I know NO ONE wants a nasty wasty Christmas but the Grinch) ----however......

Niece says "Oh you're not drinking tonight? Thank GOD after what happened last time." I mean.....the range of commentary is large, but.......It could go........

"No, I'm not drinking tonight, I realized that everyone is allowed a mistake or two in their life time, or in your case with such an unmannered attitude towards family we just keep forgiving and forgiving and forgiving....

Or......

Nope I'm not drinking tonight. I've already made my amends to the people that count in my life and support me when I'm down. If you didn't get an apology ------well it could be I forgot but ......I don't think so. I was drunk - not stupid.

Nope I'm not drinking tonight. Speaking of which.....Here's my therapists card. I spoke to him about how you would probably react to me, and he said his door is open anytime......just call the number is right there.

or

No I am not drinking tonight. I'm trying to stop my bad habits. Pity.....you seem to keep on with yours. No one really appreciates your sarcasm dear. Everyone makes mistakes, but to continually have to open your mouth and nothing nice ever come out of it is almost as bad as what I did on Thanksgiving. Try using your gift of infinite gab to praise people instead of tearing them down. (then walk away)
 

1905

Well-Known Member
We've all done embarrassing things, so have the people at the party. Christmas is soon and you'll have a chance to make a different impression. A few years ago I was taking this medication called Buspar, I had ONE drink. I got so completely drunk from this one drink. I was vomiting and I actually thought I may die. I was so ill, my sister in law called a 24-hour pharmacy and asked if I should go to the ER because of the interaction. It was unreal.

Maybe you could just say the medication you were taking couldn't be mixed with alcohol and you found out the hard way that night.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
If anyone looked at me drinking a diet coke and said "oh, I see your not drinking", I think I would look at them like they had two heads and reply back "Im not? I sure thought I was swallowing!"
 

Marguerite

Active Member
CB, it's okay to choose to not drink. I enjoy a drink, but I choose not to these days. I used to find that if I was at a party, I would get high on the company. If I also had a drink in my hand, people would assume that my loud voice and laughter meant I was drunk. There were times when people assumed this, even when what I had in my hand was non-alcoholic. So that is one reason I stopped drinking - so I could honestly say, "I did not have any alcohol."

Another reason I stopped drinking - the kids. With the difficult children, I needed to have my wits about me. I learned to not drink while any of the kids were still up. Yes, it relaxes, but even one drink I found, was enough to lose my 'edge' in being able to handle the kids. So if I knew I'd be wanting a drink, I would make a vodka slushie and by the time it was frozen enough, the kids would be in bed and I would enjoy my one drink of the night.

A third reason I stopped drinking - my liver. We don't know why it went haywire, it was not alcohol because I never drank enough to do that sort of damage. It may have been medication, it may have been the 3 grams of iron they poured into my veins overnight when I was pregnant with difficult child 3. But once the damage was done, fatty infiltration made the problem far worse. Long before doctors told me to, I stopped drinking alcohol.

A fourth rason is also related to my liver - I was told that I was heading for gastric bypass. Not that I was that overweight, but my liver was in trouble. My specialist bullied me into losing weight. Alcohol is really bad when you're trying to lose weight. It metabolises into carbs and at the same time reduces the effectiveness of your liver to process everything else. sister in law drinks far too much (but won't admit it). She hides it, thinks we don't know. She is also trying to lose weight but is only ballooning out more. Half a bottle of scotch a night will do that to you. I've seen her work at watching her food intake, but she doesn't seem to worry about her alcohol intake. I know there is a myth that vodka is not fattening. it is - anything with alcohol is fattening.

To lose weight, I had to cut back srastically on everything. I had to cut back way below what a dietician would have found acceptable. My specialist okayed it. But if I had drunk any alcohol, it would have prevented any weight loss.

I get through holidays without alcohol these days. I might have a sip from my husband's glass because I do appreciate a good drop of wine. But these days, just a drop. Literally. I'll have a half glass of champagne at Christmas or New Year, but otherwise - no. Nothing. Diet soft drink, or Greek-style iced coffee (made with iced water and a splash of skim milk).

It can be done. And it has made my life easier and a lot more enjoyable. I also enjoy parties a lot more, when sober. I have foud that the sort of parties where you need to be tipsy to enjoy them, are actually really boring. So the parties I go to now, I enjoy more because we have great conversation.

Marg
 

bby31288

Active Member
CB have you thought about telling SO what happened. It would alleviate a lot of anxiety and worry hoping no one says anything. That way you will be much more comfortable at the party. Plus hiding things from SO is not the best way to go. If you don't tell him and someone blabs how will he feel?
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
Haven't thought about telling SO and I don't think it's a good idea. I am going to have a talk with my mom ahead of time and tell her to let my uncle and niece know (the only two I'm afraid would say anything. Everyone else I know has more common sense) not to say anything. I really don't want to tell SO for personal reasons so that's not an option. I'm sure that if my mom has a talk with my niece and uncle ahead of time that all will be good.
 
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