Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I could really use
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 320412" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>I absolutely agree with the comments by Marg and Klmno (but can't figure out how to get the computer to let me show both quotes....) </p><p> </p><p>I realized pretty quickly that my current anger toward my own difficult child oozed out toward Wiped Out's difficult child, and that's not fair. Our difficult child's are different, and as far as consequences are concened, "one size" definitely doesn't fit all.</p><p> </p><p>Something that may, however, be relevant to all, is the importance of knowing ahead the laws that will apply in the event you ever do have to call the police. In my state, the law really ties down the officer's choices. In cases of domestic assault, the officer is OBLIGATED to arrest the aggressor...or to transport to a mental health facility and THEN file charges. The choices are completely stripped away, and this took me by surprise the first time it happened. I understand the law is intended to take the pressure off an abused spouse, so that the abuser has no power in the moment to convince the victim not to press charges. Unfortunately, however, the same law applies in cases like mine.</p><p> </p><p>I've been told more than once that I had absolutely no power to prevent an arrest, and it's very humbling. Sometimes, I didn't think this was appropriate, and it was only the quick response of the psychiatrist's answering service and, even then, his strong advocacy, that made it possible for the transport to a mental hospital instead. Looking back, I don't believe either hospital stay helped my difficult child a bit, but it was a step that had to be explored. Still, however, it's a frustrating and seemingly unfair situation to have my parental control so completely ripped away in these cases. It feels like a penalty for being a single mom, because I know that some situations when I had to call for help would have been diffused privately (or even prevented) if I'd had any physical help in the home. Of course, any family could be vulnerable to this law depending on who was home (or, maybe more importantly NOT home), at the time. </p><p> </p><p>I understand too that there is a double edge. It's not fair to the officers to have to respond repeatedly to the same residence, only to have the mom say, "Thanks, guys. It's all under control now. I'll take it from here." They would have done it for me, though, had the law allowed them to. I have had absolutely the most supportive police department I could have hoped for, and all have been extremely compassionate and sympathetic to my position. There's just this little problem of the law....</p><p> </p><p>I've had no reason to find out the law outside my own state, but I know my state is not the only place with laws like this in place. I wonder how it goes where some of the rest of you live.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 320412, member: 8226"] I absolutely agree with the comments by Marg and Klmno (but can't figure out how to get the computer to let me show both quotes....) I realized pretty quickly that my current anger toward my own difficult child oozed out toward Wiped Out's difficult child, and that's not fair. Our difficult child's are different, and as far as consequences are concened, "one size" definitely doesn't fit all. Something that may, however, be relevant to all, is the importance of knowing ahead the laws that will apply in the event you ever do have to call the police. In my state, the law really ties down the officer's choices. In cases of domestic assault, the officer is OBLIGATED to arrest the aggressor...or to transport to a mental health facility and THEN file charges. The choices are completely stripped away, and this took me by surprise the first time it happened. I understand the law is intended to take the pressure off an abused spouse, so that the abuser has no power in the moment to convince the victim not to press charges. Unfortunately, however, the same law applies in cases like mine. I've been told more than once that I had absolutely no power to prevent an arrest, and it's very humbling. Sometimes, I didn't think this was appropriate, and it was only the quick response of the psychiatrist's answering service and, even then, his strong advocacy, that made it possible for the transport to a mental hospital instead. Looking back, I don't believe either hospital stay helped my difficult child a bit, but it was a step that had to be explored. Still, however, it's a frustrating and seemingly unfair situation to have my parental control so completely ripped away in these cases. It feels like a penalty for being a single mom, because I know that some situations when I had to call for help would have been diffused privately (or even prevented) if I'd had any physical help in the home. Of course, any family could be vulnerable to this law depending on who was home (or, maybe more importantly NOT home), at the time. I understand too that there is a double edge. It's not fair to the officers to have to respond repeatedly to the same residence, only to have the mom say, "Thanks, guys. It's all under control now. I'll take it from here." They would have done it for me, though, had the law allowed them to. I have had absolutely the most supportive police department I could have hoped for, and all have been extremely compassionate and sympathetic to my position. There's just this little problem of the law.... I've had no reason to find out the law outside my own state, but I know my state is not the only place with laws like this in place. I wonder how it goes where some of the rest of you live. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I could really use
Top