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I could use a detachment pep talk
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 295042" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Hmm I hadn't thought of it that way, detaching not freeing us from negative emotions. I assumed because I was able to lump the two together for a while, it was all part of the same thing.. but really it's separate, I guess. I DO think I need to untangle myself emotionally from the mess ... so to the extent that involved "detachment," that's it. But it's a different *kind*, maybe. I've gotten pretty good at the not rescueing.. I'm a regular hard a** sometimes... but, emotionally, I cave at other times. I obsess over problems and "what ifs." I cant control any of it, though. </p><p></p><p>Youngest and I did go to dinner tonight, and we talked a bit. I told her I had to back off from being her advice-giver, and I needed to stay out of her and her fiance's personal problems. She said she just had no one else to talk to ... her friends aern't much help.. yada yada... and I said well, maybe you need to either find someone else (a counselor), or learn to handle these things on your own. You have to stop calling me about every single problem you and D. have (Janet, you SO hit it on the head .. lol). She got it, sort of. We then did have a decent talk about the big, looming decision ... terminating her lease.. and she shared some other concerns about it all .. all I said was, well you have a lot to think about. Just remember, this is not a decision you can take back once you've made it. </p><p></p><p>We'll see how things go.</p><p></p><p>Thanks as always, for being here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 295042, member: 1157"] Hmm I hadn't thought of it that way, detaching not freeing us from negative emotions. I assumed because I was able to lump the two together for a while, it was all part of the same thing.. but really it's separate, I guess. I DO think I need to untangle myself emotionally from the mess ... so to the extent that involved "detachment," that's it. But it's a different *kind*, maybe. I've gotten pretty good at the not rescueing.. I'm a regular hard a** sometimes... but, emotionally, I cave at other times. I obsess over problems and "what ifs." I cant control any of it, though. Youngest and I did go to dinner tonight, and we talked a bit. I told her I had to back off from being her advice-giver, and I needed to stay out of her and her fiance's personal problems. She said she just had no one else to talk to ... her friends aern't much help.. yada yada... and I said well, maybe you need to either find someone else (a counselor), or learn to handle these things on your own. You have to stop calling me about every single problem you and D. have (Janet, you SO hit it on the head .. lol). She got it, sort of. We then did have a decent talk about the big, looming decision ... terminating her lease.. and she shared some other concerns about it all .. all I said was, well you have a lot to think about. Just remember, this is not a decision you can take back once you've made it. We'll see how things go. Thanks as always, for being here. [/QUOTE]
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I could use a detachment pep talk
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