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i could use about 20 hugs and a drink
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 137541" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Jen, I'm so glad you had that long talk and cleared the air on so much. Now you have to move forward and put it all into practice.</p><p>You've gotten some good advice and ideas here. I can't add much but except I think that her defensive reaction and hanging up on you may have been odd. I try to put myself in that situation, and have been once or twice ... the wife of a male friend would on occasion call to see if he was over at my house. He tended to drink and go AWOL. I'd always say, "No, is he supposed to be over here?" (LOL--I can be sarcastic sometimes but when 60-somethings are still going through that game it's hard to be sympathetic). I would always promise to call her if I saw him or heard from him, and quite frankly, had anything been going on, I still would have called her because the point was not that she was mad at me but that she was panicking about her husband.</p><p> </p><p>I guess because my husband and I are so open about all of our friends, it's hard to imagine being too suspicious of his female friends. The most recent occurance was a few mo's ago ... he had a female biz consultant he talked about incessantly, and he'd see her about 5X a yr on biz trips. I bugged him about how something was going on and he took it very personally (he does not like to joke about things like that) and after the last trip, he sat me down and sheepishly told me that people were talking about them ... so she sat down with-him and told him she was a lesbian! LOL! I burst out laughing and he was amused but offended. He really cares about her and they're still friends but, well, just friends ...</p><p> </p><p>In short, since your husband knows you have a trust issue, it would behoove him to be extra careful and extra, extra open with-you about all of his friends. I think openness is the key.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 137541, member: 3419"] Jen, I'm so glad you had that long talk and cleared the air on so much. Now you have to move forward and put it all into practice. You've gotten some good advice and ideas here. I can't add much but except I think that her defensive reaction and hanging up on you may have been odd. I try to put myself in that situation, and have been once or twice ... the wife of a male friend would on occasion call to see if he was over at my house. He tended to drink and go AWOL. I'd always say, "No, is he supposed to be over here?" (LOL--I can be sarcastic sometimes but when 60-somethings are still going through that game it's hard to be sympathetic). I would always promise to call her if I saw him or heard from him, and quite frankly, had anything been going on, I still would have called her because the point was not that she was mad at me but that she was panicking about her husband. I guess because my husband and I are so open about all of our friends, it's hard to imagine being too suspicious of his female friends. The most recent occurance was a few mo's ago ... he had a female biz consultant he talked about incessantly, and he'd see her about 5X a yr on biz trips. I bugged him about how something was going on and he took it very personally (he does not like to joke about things like that) and after the last trip, he sat me down and sheepishly told me that people were talking about them ... so she sat down with-him and told him she was a lesbian! LOL! I burst out laughing and he was amused but offended. He really cares about her and they're still friends but, well, just friends ... In short, since your husband knows you have a trust issue, it would behoove him to be extra careful and extra, extra open with-you about all of his friends. I think openness is the key. [/QUOTE]
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