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i decided to play it safe :)
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 205477" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Jen - </p><p> </p><p>I too had thought with my experience I would make a good Guardian Ad Litem. I discussed it with my therapist. His reaction wasn't the one I was looking for but for posterity sake I'm going to throw to you what he said to me, and for the record I have never gone back to be a GAL. </p><p> </p><p>When the therapist heard that I wanted to and considered helping another child - he told me with my issues, and abuse background that he felt it would be better not only for me, but for the kids I would represent in court to have a little (actually a lot) more therapy before I would be a real benefit to other children who were potentially going to have WAY bigger issues than I had ever been exposed to with my own situation. </p><p> </p><p>I thought about it for a minute because my life while married/abuse/dealings with my son had been and were still hell. So I had to honestly look at what I had accomplished within my own recovery. I was on the path to wellness working with a good therapist, and even though I had a huge heart and a good working knowledge - the problems these kids could have "could" set my own wellness back. He felt that I really wasnt' strong enough to sit in a room or go to a house with a child who had been burned or raped or sodomized, or beaten or tortured. After a very short time thinking - it occured to me that I had only considered that I would be given children who were from parents who divorced, or died etc....I had never considered all the ramifications of the sick world and how it would affect my own mental state via watching this happen to a child and basically the damage was done. I couldn't fix my own child - how could I be a voice for another one so harmed? How could I look into their eyes when the judge decided against what I thought and send them back to the abusive household or the home with the elderly but stable grandma - when I KNEW they needed love, stability, therapy - ??? Honestly - I can't adopt them - so then what - they go back to their situation for another hearing in 5 weeks and I just quit thinking about them? Not gonna happen - </p><p> </p><p>He asked me to think about it - and consider what he had said - then he asked me to ask myself if I honestly felt that I personally was mentally in the best place in my life, with my child, in my relationships and if I could answer YES - then go for it. But I wasn't - I had a lot of work to do and even though I have been released from his care - I'm still struggling with flashbacks, and PTSD. </p><p> </p><p>Just wanted you to think about yourself first and how your own life and situations would or wouldn't be healthy and how that could affect a child who needs someone to be their voice. </p><p> </p><p>Personally? After thinking like that? I still today would not do it. I do advocate for children but through writing campaigns to our state officials and governor and my voice is heard on mental health day. </p><p> </p><p>-something maybe to consider - not saying you wouldn't be great at helping - but just wanted to give you another view. </p><p> </p><p>Court is stressful - damaged children and their surroundings are stressful, NOT being able to do what YOU think is in the best interest of a damaged child could send you home at night wishing you had never done this -</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 205477, member: 4964"] Jen - I too had thought with my experience I would make a good Guardian Ad Litem. I discussed it with my therapist. His reaction wasn't the one I was looking for but for posterity sake I'm going to throw to you what he said to me, and for the record I have never gone back to be a GAL. When the therapist heard that I wanted to and considered helping another child - he told me with my issues, and abuse background that he felt it would be better not only for me, but for the kids I would represent in court to have a little (actually a lot) more therapy before I would be a real benefit to other children who were potentially going to have WAY bigger issues than I had ever been exposed to with my own situation. I thought about it for a minute because my life while married/abuse/dealings with my son had been and were still hell. So I had to honestly look at what I had accomplished within my own recovery. I was on the path to wellness working with a good therapist, and even though I had a huge heart and a good working knowledge - the problems these kids could have "could" set my own wellness back. He felt that I really wasnt' strong enough to sit in a room or go to a house with a child who had been burned or raped or sodomized, or beaten or tortured. After a very short time thinking - it occured to me that I had only considered that I would be given children who were from parents who divorced, or died etc....I had never considered all the ramifications of the sick world and how it would affect my own mental state via watching this happen to a child and basically the damage was done. I couldn't fix my own child - how could I be a voice for another one so harmed? How could I look into their eyes when the judge decided against what I thought and send them back to the abusive household or the home with the elderly but stable grandma - when I KNEW they needed love, stability, therapy - ??? Honestly - I can't adopt them - so then what - they go back to their situation for another hearing in 5 weeks and I just quit thinking about them? Not gonna happen - He asked me to think about it - and consider what he had said - then he asked me to ask myself if I honestly felt that I personally was mentally in the best place in my life, with my child, in my relationships and if I could answer YES - then go for it. But I wasn't - I had a lot of work to do and even though I have been released from his care - I'm still struggling with flashbacks, and PTSD. Just wanted you to think about yourself first and how your own life and situations would or wouldn't be healthy and how that could affect a child who needs someone to be their voice. Personally? After thinking like that? I still today would not do it. I do advocate for children but through writing campaigns to our state officials and governor and my voice is heard on mental health day. -something maybe to consider - not saying you wouldn't be great at helping - but just wanted to give you another view. Court is stressful - damaged children and their surroundings are stressful, NOT being able to do what YOU think is in the best interest of a damaged child could send you home at night wishing you had never done this - [/QUOTE]
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