Hi, I am new here. I'm always googling to see if I can find out if my sons behavior runs deep inside from his childhood. This might be long.
My son is 18, almost 19. He's gotten in trouble for a couple thefts. He's stolen from our home, cash and jewelry. He's been in IOP and treatment. He just gets involved with the wrong people. He smoked pot, drank cough medicine with DXM and I think he huffed.
Mid December he was in jail for theft and possession, he was supposed to be working with detectives. And he didn't.
My husband is not happy, he's the stepfather. He's wanted to kick my son out. Being out on the streets isn't going to help him. I know, tough love. My first husband died from a heroin over dose and my son's dad alcohol and drugs. My husband is a critical, negative, judgmental person. I could go on... I don't know how many times I've heard him say he doesn't care how others feel or what they've been through. He's verbally abusive.
Sorry so long. When we married, he wanted to make a difference in my children's lives (I have 5). My kids all feel I was taken away, I see where they'd feel that.
I don't know if this is what happened to my son. At the age of 5 his dad threatened suicide with a shot gun in his hands. I called authorities and took my son down the street. I didn't let his dad back.
There is this little boy, dad's gone, why, doesn't he want me? Does he love me ? He was abandoned by his dad. He would wait in the front of our house all day waiting for him to visit and he would never show. He didn't get phone calls either. My son was extremely shy teachers were worried about him, never adjusted to change.
1st or 2nd grade he was diagnosed with ADD. He just could not comprehend anything. I imagine he felt stupid, never asked for help homework never got turned in even if it was done. He never remembered to and it'd get lost. medications didn't seem to help. He didn't get past freshman year. He was in an IEP program and private school. I can see his depression, lack of confidence, self esteem and self worth. He is afraid to get his GED because he doesn't comprehend. To get a job, he doesn't have that knowledge. He doesn't know basic multiplication tables. I know these problems can lead to drug use.
When you are belittled, told you're a sissy, that you f*** up everyday, etc how are you going to feel? No good, not worth trying anymore. That's where my son is at.
I met my husband when my son was 8-9. I would go away on every other weekend. It was new to me as I was a single mother of 5 kids it was very hard. I know the kids were mad and felt abandoned. Until a few weeks ago my son never shared with me that he felt I was stolen from them. That's a long time of holding it in.
The few times stepdad and stepson did something together my son lit up like a candle, then it was done. I'm the only one that encourages and supports him. Stepdad doesn't acknowledge him, my son rarely eats dinner with us and ends up eating alone after sitting in his room alone in the dark.
I know my son has done a lot of wrong. He knows it too. I think he's given up on himself. It's not just addiction but it's a mental disorder too. It's like my husband it out to get him. My son gets yelled at for drinking juice, stepdad hides snacks and pop. He sets my son up to see if he will take change or a dollar. He doesn't care if it's pop, penny or snack, it's stealing.???
My son doesn't feel wanted at all. So many times he's cried, wanted to talk but we don't talk we get yelled at.
I also suffer from some disorders myself. Plus living with family addiction and 2 relationships like that, I'm familiar with that. I don't want my son to go the wrong way I know he can do it.
Maybe I'm wrong, my husband always says I am because he is never wrong. I would just like to hear opinions. Thanks!
cronzo
My son is 18, almost 19. He's gotten in trouble for a couple thefts. He's stolen from our home, cash and jewelry. He's been in IOP and treatment. He just gets involved with the wrong people. He smoked pot, drank cough medicine with DXM and I think he huffed.
Mid December he was in jail for theft and possession, he was supposed to be working with detectives. And he didn't.
My husband is not happy, he's the stepfather. He's wanted to kick my son out. Being out on the streets isn't going to help him. I know, tough love. My first husband died from a heroin over dose and my son's dad alcohol and drugs. My husband is a critical, negative, judgmental person. I could go on... I don't know how many times I've heard him say he doesn't care how others feel or what they've been through. He's verbally abusive.
Sorry so long. When we married, he wanted to make a difference in my children's lives (I have 5). My kids all feel I was taken away, I see where they'd feel that.
I don't know if this is what happened to my son. At the age of 5 his dad threatened suicide with a shot gun in his hands. I called authorities and took my son down the street. I didn't let his dad back.
There is this little boy, dad's gone, why, doesn't he want me? Does he love me ? He was abandoned by his dad. He would wait in the front of our house all day waiting for him to visit and he would never show. He didn't get phone calls either. My son was extremely shy teachers were worried about him, never adjusted to change.
1st or 2nd grade he was diagnosed with ADD. He just could not comprehend anything. I imagine he felt stupid, never asked for help homework never got turned in even if it was done. He never remembered to and it'd get lost. medications didn't seem to help. He didn't get past freshman year. He was in an IEP program and private school. I can see his depression, lack of confidence, self esteem and self worth. He is afraid to get his GED because he doesn't comprehend. To get a job, he doesn't have that knowledge. He doesn't know basic multiplication tables. I know these problems can lead to drug use.
When you are belittled, told you're a sissy, that you f*** up everyday, etc how are you going to feel? No good, not worth trying anymore. That's where my son is at.
I met my husband when my son was 8-9. I would go away on every other weekend. It was new to me as I was a single mother of 5 kids it was very hard. I know the kids were mad and felt abandoned. Until a few weeks ago my son never shared with me that he felt I was stolen from them. That's a long time of holding it in.
The few times stepdad and stepson did something together my son lit up like a candle, then it was done. I'm the only one that encourages and supports him. Stepdad doesn't acknowledge him, my son rarely eats dinner with us and ends up eating alone after sitting in his room alone in the dark.
I know my son has done a lot of wrong. He knows it too. I think he's given up on himself. It's not just addiction but it's a mental disorder too. It's like my husband it out to get him. My son gets yelled at for drinking juice, stepdad hides snacks and pop. He sets my son up to see if he will take change or a dollar. He doesn't care if it's pop, penny or snack, it's stealing.???
My son doesn't feel wanted at all. So many times he's cried, wanted to talk but we don't talk we get yelled at.
I also suffer from some disorders myself. Plus living with family addiction and 2 relationships like that, I'm familiar with that. I don't want my son to go the wrong way I know he can do it.
Maybe I'm wrong, my husband always says I am because he is never wrong. I would just like to hear opinions. Thanks!
cronzo
I'm sorry for your hurting mommy heart, but glad you found us.We all felt like you did at one time. I didn't even realize I could have a happy life if one of my kids's wasn't happy. I used to be extremely codependent. Actually, if your son refuses to straighten his act out, and I don't care whta happened in his youth, I would want to give him a timetable to pack his bags as well. Heck, I called the police on my daughter when she used drugs and I found out. I was hoping she'd get the message that it was not ok with me. I had to kick her out...she quit using any drugs, even cigarettes. I think tough love is the best medicine, plus my house was very peaceful after she left.
