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Parent Emeritus
I did it. Told difficult child son....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 614443" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Am running to work. But, GOOD JOB CEDAR. Stay the course, Do not send any money. Give your son the opportunity to man up.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I have been called "mean" too.</p><p></p><p>Hold him to his word that he will not ask you for any more money no matter what. LET HIM GROW UP.</p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/smile.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":smile:" title="smile :smile:" data-shortname=":smile:" />"husband insistent on helping to "get this over with and stop thinking about it."</span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd">That quote of your husband's is the crux of enabling, we act to change the energy we have in our bodies of powerlessness and no control which is hard to stay in. You said it too, you are feeling horrible. Both you and husband have to stay in that place of feeling horrible and NOT ACT. Remember, you guys are like addicts jonesing for a drug, the drug of codependency, the drug of taking action to stop the suffering you feel inside. As the therapists always said to us, it is more about YOU needing to stop the feelings. So, examine the feelings don't act on them.</span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd">Gotta run. HANG TOUGH. Good luck. I'll check in later. xoxoxoxo</span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000cd"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 614443, member: 13542"] Am running to work. But, GOOD JOB CEDAR. Stay the course, Do not send any money. Give your son the opportunity to man up. Yes, I have been called "mean" too. Hold him to his word that he will not ask you for any more money no matter what. LET HIM GROW UP. [COLOR=#0000cd] :smile:"husband insistent on helping to "get this over with and stop thinking about it." That quote of your husband's is the crux of enabling, we act to change the energy we have in our bodies of powerlessness and no control which is hard to stay in. You said it too, you are feeling horrible. Both you and husband have to stay in that place of feeling horrible and NOT ACT. Remember, you guys are like addicts jonesing for a drug, the drug of codependency, the drug of taking action to stop the suffering you feel inside. As the therapists always said to us, it is more about YOU needing to stop the feelings. So, examine the feelings don't act on them. Gotta run. HANG TOUGH. Good luck. I'll check in later. xoxoxoxo [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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I did it. Told difficult child son....
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