hi, yea me again. i went to the support group today, talked to other parents, they were at a loss just as I am. They too said Jen we're so sorry we dont' know what we would do in your situation. difficult child still hadnt' complted breakfast and was up in room so she lost her visitatoin for tmrw. i went to nurses' station and i asked to speak to the dr. long story short him and I met and the nurse. He said to me your child has the will of a terrorist. I've never seen anything like it in all my years. Her mood disorder is so strong that it makes her crave control at all times, that's how these kids are. She is over the phobia we saw her eat we know what she can do. she is more than capable. he said to me you can discharge her today or tmrw if you want, i will wean down the lithium so it's safe or you can trust me. He said you have had to for years play the dr. therapist mother etc. with no real relief in her symptoms and a very hard life up till now. she is now trying to control and manipulate anything she can. yet the one thing she won't do is eat. she is now on room isolation, her ipod, phone, labtop has all been taken away, her visitation has been taken away. it's too long to post it all yet he said to me if you do not break her she will never adhere to any treatment program. i have to get her stable with-the medications. that she is NOW refusing as well. I said i knew she'd totally shut down on you. so i approved them giving her shots if she wont' swallow them as well. i chose to leave her there becasue i can't deal with-her behaviors at home anymore. I can't leave her home without eating. I cant' pull her becasue if i do she'll never make it work anywhere else. I'm out of options. transitioning into another facility wouldnt' work. This doctor has only known her for a small amt of days and he seems to have a pretty good handle on what she's about already. he told me that difficult child has verbalized that dad bad mouths me alot. and that has alot to do with her eating disorder now. he said he will try to talk to him, and will also try to include him in family therapy and that to remain controlled and let them handle ex h. if he wont' comply with way their telling him to handle her than he said honestly the next step is giong to court with-all your medical documentation and putting him on either supervised or no visitation at all. he told me go home, take care of you, get a therapist to help you handle this difficlut time it's very hard but i truly think it'll work. and try to resume life the best you can right now. they brought difficult child into the room. she looks fine by the way, picked out cute little earrings she had on etc. he said to her do you want to visit with mom? she said yes and began tearing up. he said what do you have to do for that to happen? she said eat my food. she said you took everything away though i have nothing left. he said you will get it all back if you eat your food. i told her i am not taking you home. i trust these doctor's and i do love you very much which is why you are here. i said when you complete 3 meals i will be here and am looking forward to it. yet right now your in control and you know what you need to do to get what you want. and i left. i'm at hotel packing up my things. heading home. not sure how i'll cope yet i'm sure someway i'l get thru just like you guys have. i am calling a therapist for me now to set up appointment for next week also. i don't know how i feel right now. yet the dr said one thing. if you don't do this you'll keep her in this disorder right now and sick. that spoke volumes to me. i never want to be the cause of her illness. i don't want to be ex h. i told him my main goal since the first diagnosis was to give her wings so she could fly. she could funciton on her own someday because she'll need to with-o me. he said that's exactly it. your stronger than her you can do this.