I Don't Believe it

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jul 25, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Maturity.

    It's what we strive for. It's what we dream about when we think of our difficult children. It's what we fear will never happen.

    Somehow it seems to have taken a major hold on Nichole. And I have to say that I am amazed. Proud. And truely amazed.

    Wow.

    The change in her is astounding. Sometimes I just feel like staring at her with my mouth hanging open. It's not that I thought it would never happen, or that it couldn't happen. It's just that it's happening so fast and I guess the really amazing part is..........

    She's doing it all by herself!!

    The change is dramatic. And although she is not a easy child yet, if she keeps this up she will be in the near future.

    No psychiatrist. No medications. No therapist.

    Moods are stable except blood sugar issues, and she's now quick to reconize it and fix it.

    No more black and white thinking. (this was a huge handicap for her) She is becoming more and more able to see the middle ground these days. People and situations aren't just good or bad. You don't either just love someone or hate them. There is another side to things that usually bares looking into before coming to decisions. :surprise:

    School is going well. She got a B in her "first" summer quarter in Chemistry. And is into her "second" quarter. I don't see the need to be glued to boyfriend's side. We actually spend alot of time together these days. No boyfriend drama. She is back to being a really good Mommy to Aubrey. And I discovered the rough patch she had at that was due to coming off the medications. Once those withdrawl symptoms were completely gone, Nichole was fine.

    No boyfriend drama. OMG! I'm telling you, I never thought I'd ever be telling you guys that. Oh, boyfriend still tries. But as I watch her reactions to it I see her handling it and him more like I would, instead of the "old way". (and I can get creative lol) Makes a Mom proud.

    And when we were talking on this subject just the other day........ Nichole said you know Mom, it hit me how stupid I was acting. I can't make anyone do something just because I want them to do it. No matter how loud I scream, or how hard I hit. And then I saw how ridiculous it was to behave that way. I'm not a little kid anymore. So I just don't do it. And she doesn't.

    :holymoly::beautifulthing:

    I kid you not, I quite nearly fell right outta my chair!

    Oh, there have been moments when I've held my breath. Nichole and boyfriend are friends with another couple who have recently broken up. This couple is a carbon copy of Nichole and boyfriend only multiply it by 100. The girl had asked Nichole to go to a club in cincy with her and hang out. Turned out boyfriend was invited to the same place on the same night by the guy. Seems the guy's band was playing at the club. When Nichole asked me to babysit for her so she could go I told her NO. Because she and boyfriend were about to walk straight into WW III. It would get ugly, and they'd be in cincy when the cops were called...........Uh no. Neither of them needed to be involved in that sort of mess.

    Nichole not only actually listened, but discussed it with boyfriend, and they both decided not to go.

    Oh, and Nichole got her loan refund check yesterday. She took it right to the bank and opened a checking account, and put the money in. All but some to help us around here with food.

    Wow.

    She's also dealing well with the stepgfg situation. Taking what stepgfg is saying with a grain of salt until it can be varified in some way. She does realize that stepgfg can tell her whatever she wants and we have no way to be certain she's being honest.

    I don't know what happened. I swear I didn't do anything. At least nothing that I don't ordinarily do. Certainly nothing spectacular to cause this abrupt and prfound about face. Guess that goes to prove yet again that parenting doesn't always have anything to do with our difficult child's behaviors.

    Only thing I can think of is that those weeks working at McDonald's scared the **** out of her. :rofl:
     
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Wow.....good to hear she's reaching adulthood with a bit of sense! Lucky you!!!! And good for you sticking it out and providing a role model.......
     
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What an awesome report!!! I am SOOOO HAPPY to hear this!!
     
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Lisa, both you and Nicole have worked so hard and come such a long way. You went way beyond detachment and kept with her and helped her become a fine young woman. Detachment I have down pat. It's the re-attachment that can be a problem for me. Oh well, one thing at a time I guess.
     
  5. Kolleen

    Kolleen Guest

    Oh my gosh I'm sitting her 'drooling' hoping some day I might be able to see such a change in Sonnyboy!! Will pray she keeps it up and has contiuned enlightenments along the way!!!

    Thanks so much for sharing. You give me back a glimmer of hope.
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, and Nichole just dropped by to inform me that she got her driving permit. Didn't miss a single question on the exam. :D And she made certain that they marked that she took the written exam so she can now take the driving part.

    Hmmmmmmmmm. Maybe she's an alien clone??? :rofl: :rofl:
     
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Way to go, Nichole! I'm so proud of her!
     
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Wow, I am so thrilled to read this, Lisa! Way to go Nichole, way to go YOU!

    You have given me hope. I can say that I see a real change in my difficult child's behavior since she broke it off with Monkeyboy. She's been stuck at home a lot without a car and she hasn't been near as cranky as I expected. I've always seen a lot of my difficult child in your posts about Nichole. Thanks for sharing...

    ps: Are you ever afraid to post the good stuff? Hahah, I am sometimes.
     
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    lol

    Of course!

    Lisa, what a great post. I'm so proud of Nichole- I sure hope it holds up longterm. I'll bet these good decisions have done wonders for her self confidence. :bravo:

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Jo

    Are you kidding???

    If the board jinx kicks in I plan to go screaming into the distant woods!!

    And I'm tickled pink your difficult child is doing better without MB in the picture. :D I'm still keeping body parts crossed this is the final good bye and good riddance to him!
     
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I loved reading this. :bravo:
     
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :redface: What a happy, happy update.

    :dancing:YAY Nichole, YAY Mom. You have been the guiding instrumental piece in all of this. You should feel SO proud. Finally all of your input, counsel, and love has come to fruition. She is lucky to have you as a mom.

    (It sounds silly about the board jinx, but I am personally completely fearful.):tongue:
     
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    (puts fluffy pillow on floor near chair) because......

    I THINK YOU MAY FALL OUTTA YOUR CHAIR A FEW MORE TIMES BEFORE YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!

    (sending the pinch faiery too)

    I'm so happy to hear YOU happy - amazing!

    Hugs
    Star
     
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