I don't even know

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterby, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    easy child and I got into a yelling match this afternoon and I have no idea what set it off.

    difficult child was leaving with her PCA, but they needed easy child to move his car because he was parked behind them. difficult child had asked easy child to move his car, but PCA and I were talking. So, when he came to move his car and they weren't leaving *that second*, he got annoyed.

    Finally, he went out and moved his car and then called from his cellphone to get people out of the house. Come on. He could have pulled his car in the easement like everyone else here does and like everyone else on the street does. Not a big deal. But, no. He had to call to say they need to leave right now.

    While he was out there, I went in his room and sat down at his desk and was talking to his girlfriend. easy child came in and started yelling at me because I was sitting at his desk. :mad:

    Of course, that went over like a ton of bricks with me. He was being completely irrational about the moving the car thing and then was yelling at me because "you were yelling at me to move the car and they weren't even ready to leave."

    First of all, *I* never said one word to him about moving his car. And it's really moot cause he was totally overreacting.

    And he continued to yell at me. The difficult child in me doesn't take kindly to that and so I yelled back. I can't even remember what was said; just that I was thinking that this is so surreal. I couldn't believe that this was something to get so worked up about. But, him walking back in and yelling at me because I was sitting at his desk talking to his girlfriend...because he had been doing something on the computer??? OMG. Like it would have taken me all of a second to move.

    I started to say, "I don't like you when you come in yelling at me", but I got out, "I don't like you..." and he yelled "Sweet" and kicked his door shut. It shook the house.

    That did it for me. I opened his door and finished my sentence. He went on yelling. I yelled back that he came in yelling at me and then I *screamed* "What the [bleep] did I do???", and walked out.

    He left without saying a word to me or his girlfriend. She said he had been in a good mood and she doesn't know what set him off.

    I know, however, that I am beyond sick of this carp and he's going to have a come to Jesus meeting or he's going to find somewhere else to live. I am not going to walk on eggshells in my own home. He's been doing much better, but the littlest, stupidest thing will set him off. Then, when he's over it we're all just supposed to be ok, too. Not only was he so worked up over something so incredibly stupid, he was mad at someone else and taking it out on me. Again.

    I do think I know what set him off. easy child came home when the PCA was here and I asked easy child if he went to school today. difficult child was confused and her PCA explained that it wasn't regular school, that it was for kids who are smart, but who lazily didn't do the work so it was an accelerated program to graduate. That comment set him off, I'm sure. Doesn't matter that it's true. One could argue that maybe she shouldn't have said that in front of him, but the truth is you can't say anything to him or in front of him about the fact that *he* didn't graduate without setting him off. Plus, he has come home in rip roaring moods with the PCA here and he doesn't care how he acts in front of people when he's like that. So, she's been annoyed with him, too.

    And now my throat hurts.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    You have a right to be treated with respect in your home. I hope the come to Jesus meeting happens soon and he either gets with the program or finds another place to live.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((Hugs))) I hope the come to Jesus meeting goes well and he is able to turn things around.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Only thing I know to tell you :

    Don't make it all better when his moods switch. He's a grown up (like it or not). He has got to learn his actions cause reactions in other people, and those same people are not going to "get over it" just because he flipped a switch and is done blowing up at people.

    This was a HUGE deal with Nichole. And the kid drove me crazy with it. But once I finally got everyone on board with "treat her as you would a stranger treating you the same way"........she began to discover she didn't like that other people couldn't just flip a switch and it all be better.

    It was the only way I could think of to get her to stop taking her anger out on other people. I went for days not speaking to the child. Why? Because that is the way I'd treat a person who can do nothing but snarl at me all day long. Once the family got onboard she found out you can't rip someone a new one then expect them to do something for you 10 mins or even a couple of days later. Doesn't wash.

    Tough lesson for her to learn, and she made us teach her the hard way.

    easy child is POed as all get out because he's reaping the concequences of his actions during the school year. He's decided he's going to make everyone else as miserable as he is and he's taking that anger out on you. Now what would you do if this was a stranger treating you this way?

    This was not a fun thing to go thru with Nichole. As I recall it lasted about 2-3 yrs. Trust me, you do not want it to last that long. ugh!!