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I don't know anymore if there is anything to be done to improve the situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Biscuit" data-source="post: 681691" data-attributes="member: 20143"><p>Hello all,</p><p></p><p>I am new here, I am not parent but step-dad to a 18 yo adult child and a 8 yo one. </p><p></p><p>And today I decided to post (sorry, english is not my first language) here because we have great difficulties with the older son. </p><p></p><p>The kid was great when I met him, he was 13, he was doing quite good at school, was a good kid at home, and when I moved in with my wife everything was running smooth. </p><p></p><p>When entering high-school he did a nervous breakdown, he was cutting himself, was put in therapy, and we were very concerned about his future. He was in a relationship that broke at the time. After that he started to become friend mostly with teens in failure. We warned him about the dangers but he still continued to be friend with those guys : kids in rich family with little rules, their own appartments at 16, doing drugs & alcohol. </p><p></p><p>His results at school started to decline very fast, he started to have a lot of new girlfriends, and to be less and less respectful to his mother. His father is going nuts about him also, and he has probably some good reasons.</p><p></p><p>At 18 now, I don't know what to do. He is failing (hard) school. He is in the bottom 5 of his class. He has a new girlfriend, who is also in a difficult situation at school, and whose parents are letting totally free. </p><p></p><p>He started to sleep over to her mother place, the mother is very happy to have them there, so the kid is now asking to bring his girlfriend home at night.</p><p></p><p>The last time we agreed to let him our home because we were away one night, we found cigarettes and weed at home, our dog was totally sick when we came home. So I am not happy at all with that. He does not do any chore anymore.</p><p></p><p>He says he does not do drug or whatever but we have no reason anymore to believe it. He asked today to his mother if his girlfriend could sleep at our place, she said no, she said we agreed to say no, that made him go crazy and he started to judge his mother saying she was bad, that his girlfriend mother was much nicer etc... We said no because we have a small house, 1 couple is already not easy in, and this is not a hotel for them. </p><p></p><p>We also received a letter from the school saying he had very poor results, he missed days. He said he does not want to go to school anymore, but he does not want to work either, and to be honest, he does not have any skill or whatever so I don't know what he could do. </p><p></p><p>He lies to get what he wants, he dropped therapy saying he wanted that his mother go to therapy also (!!). He has no interest in anything else than going out or watching tv shows. </p><p></p><p>Honestly I don't know what to do. He has violent angers sometimes, breaking his things, he broke his desk. We tried to support him but whatever we do, it seems it never pays. </p><p></p><p>I am very scared about the future. I don't know what he will become. He will not get to college, I am quite sure of this, he has no money, don't want to work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Biscuit, post: 681691, member: 20143"] Hello all, I am new here, I am not parent but step-dad to a 18 yo adult child and a 8 yo one. And today I decided to post (sorry, english is not my first language) here because we have great difficulties with the older son. The kid was great when I met him, he was 13, he was doing quite good at school, was a good kid at home, and when I moved in with my wife everything was running smooth. When entering high-school he did a nervous breakdown, he was cutting himself, was put in therapy, and we were very concerned about his future. He was in a relationship that broke at the time. After that he started to become friend mostly with teens in failure. We warned him about the dangers but he still continued to be friend with those guys : kids in rich family with little rules, their own appartments at 16, doing drugs & alcohol. His results at school started to decline very fast, he started to have a lot of new girlfriends, and to be less and less respectful to his mother. His father is going nuts about him also, and he has probably some good reasons. At 18 now, I don't know what to do. He is failing (hard) school. He is in the bottom 5 of his class. He has a new girlfriend, who is also in a difficult situation at school, and whose parents are letting totally free. He started to sleep over to her mother place, the mother is very happy to have them there, so the kid is now asking to bring his girlfriend home at night. The last time we agreed to let him our home because we were away one night, we found cigarettes and weed at home, our dog was totally sick when we came home. So I am not happy at all with that. He does not do any chore anymore. He says he does not do drug or whatever but we have no reason anymore to believe it. He asked today to his mother if his girlfriend could sleep at our place, she said no, she said we agreed to say no, that made him go crazy and he started to judge his mother saying she was bad, that his girlfriend mother was much nicer etc... We said no because we have a small house, 1 couple is already not easy in, and this is not a hotel for them. We also received a letter from the school saying he had very poor results, he missed days. He said he does not want to go to school anymore, but he does not want to work either, and to be honest, he does not have any skill or whatever so I don't know what he could do. He lies to get what he wants, he dropped therapy saying he wanted that his mother go to therapy also (!!). He has no interest in anything else than going out or watching tv shows. Honestly I don't know what to do. He has violent angers sometimes, breaking his things, he broke his desk. We tried to support him but whatever we do, it seems it never pays. I am very scared about the future. I don't know what he will become. He will not get to college, I am quite sure of this, he has no money, don't want to work. [/QUOTE]
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