Hi everyone, i found this site as i was looking for answers i suppose.
I stopped enabling my 18 year old son in sept of last year after a hellish few years trying to deal with his anti social behaviour and drug taking, after sleeping rough for a few weeks he begged for a place to stay while he found somewhere to live. My husband (his stepdad) and i agreed. We found somewhere for him to live and were sorting out the minor details and agreeing to pay the rent in advance and a deposit for him. The week before he was due to move in he left a candle burning in our front room and caused a house fire burning his hands badly in the process, thank god he and everyone else were all ok at the end of the night. He insisted in moving into his flat after a week had gone by and said he was fine and he could cope.
I have since helped him with problems with his landlady, making up his rent sorting out housing benefit etc. When the landlady was meant to return the rent in advance we had a fight on our hands to get it back, in the end it was paid to my son who promptly spent it. He promises to come round and pay us back but guess what he never turns up.
He phoned me earlier tonight informing me he thinks he missed his job seekers appointment which means his benefits will stop and he will lose his flat and that he will probably have to sleep on our sofa again.
I have just come to terms with my husband being diagnosed with a pancreatic growth, and it really feels like my son will never try and just live life get a job not take drugs and behave. I suffer from depression too and i sometimes just want to disappear as nothing ever seems to get better.
Does it ever get any better, or is this as good as its ever going to get.
I stopped enabling my 18 year old son in sept of last year after a hellish few years trying to deal with his anti social behaviour and drug taking, after sleeping rough for a few weeks he begged for a place to stay while he found somewhere to live. My husband (his stepdad) and i agreed. We found somewhere for him to live and were sorting out the minor details and agreeing to pay the rent in advance and a deposit for him. The week before he was due to move in he left a candle burning in our front room and caused a house fire burning his hands badly in the process, thank god he and everyone else were all ok at the end of the night. He insisted in moving into his flat after a week had gone by and said he was fine and he could cope.
I have since helped him with problems with his landlady, making up his rent sorting out housing benefit etc. When the landlady was meant to return the rent in advance we had a fight on our hands to get it back, in the end it was paid to my son who promptly spent it. He promises to come round and pay us back but guess what he never turns up.
He phoned me earlier tonight informing me he thinks he missed his job seekers appointment which means his benefits will stop and he will lose his flat and that he will probably have to sleep on our sofa again.
I have just come to terms with my husband being diagnosed with a pancreatic growth, and it really feels like my son will never try and just live life get a job not take drugs and behave. I suffer from depression too and i sometimes just want to disappear as nothing ever seems to get better.
Does it ever get any better, or is this as good as its ever going to get.
