I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lovemylife, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. lovemylife

    lovemylife New Member

    I am new here and found this forum looking for help. Sorry it is so long.

    I honestly don't know what to do anymore! Our daughter is 5.5 years old and we have been seeking help since she was 2 years old. At first she was diagnosed with ADHD at 3 from her pediatrician. After trying 4 different medications and with horrible side effects she sent us to a specialist. The specialist then diagnosed her with ADHD and ODD at 4 years old. We then tried all medications for her age group (6 and under) with very negative side affects. So we kept her in therapy and gave up on medications. I almost kept her out of Kindergarden because we were afraid of how she would do and her getting expelled. We decided to give it a try and she is in the top 3 smartest kids in her class! Her teacher says that she isn't having any behavioral issues at school but then recommended her to be in the guidance counselors small group for social skills. I'm honestly thinking she is having problems and they aren't telling me. Why else would she be in that group. Plus the schools story about that and other things keep changing.

    Our pediatrician suggested that maybe she needs a lot more structure at home, I work from home. So I changed everything! Now every part of our day is planned out and stays the same everyday. Still were having problems.

    Called pediatrician again and she referred us to a specialist 3 hours away, best in the state! Get the information and paperwork in the mail. They want to test her for asperger's syndrome. Our insurance doesn't cover it. So we are currently trying to change our insurance to get it covered. The treatment is thousands of dollars, which we don't have. In the mean time I don't know what to do!

    Her temper tantrums include throwing herself around, hitting/kicks walls or anything else around, screaming and banging her head. Her newest thing during a fit is to hold her throat and say we are choking her. Even if we are several feet away from her. On the weekdays when she is at school she will have 2-3 fits. On the weekends she will have 6-8 fits a day. Now she is saying her teacher and friends at school are choking her. The school put an additional teacher in their classroom for liability purposes due to the lying/allocations. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Can you tell us about her history, including your pregnancy and her infancy? Any chaos in her early years? Any other siblings? We (most of us here) don't trust pediatricians as diagnosticians. Many of us like neuropsychs and they do have long waiting lists because of their demand. Any psychiatric problems in her genetic family tree? Genes are HUGE. To me, a layperson mom, it sounds like more than ADHD and many of us here do not think the ODD label is useful and just means "defiant child." But it doesn't tell us why. I don't care for the ODD label and it is rarely given by neuropsychs and psychiatrists (higher level mental health professionals). Neuropsychs do intensive 6-10 hours of testing. I would not personally see any professional who is an "expert" in any one diagnosis. They tend to see THAT diagnosis in everything.

    Welcome to the board, but so sorry you have to be here. Can you do a signature, like I did below? Thanks! :)
  3. lovemylife

    lovemylife New Member

    At 22 weeks pregnant I started having contractions. After being hospitalized they were able to stop them but I was placed on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy with her. When she was born at 39 weeks she wasn't breathing at first but they were able to quickly get her breathing.

    During infancy she was a very happy baby and a great sleeper. I wasn't so lucky with my second child in the sleep department :) Her first daycare she went to at 3 months was a disaster! We pulled her out in her second week. After having many multiple issues with daycare and her behavioral issues at the time I started to work from home when she was 3.

    After going through our pediatrician first I now completely agree that we shouldn't have started there.

    We have a lot of mental health problems in our family. My husband has ADHD, I have pretty bad anxiety and ADD. When I was 15 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. He was a quacky doctor :)
    We also have bi polar disorder in cousins, depression and anxiety in most of my family. Alcohol abuse on my father side exc.

    I agree with the ODD label. Seems like they just did it because they didn't know what else to do.

    I will absolutely look into a Neuropsychs! I will have to get a referral for one because our insurance requires one.

    I will also set up the signature! Thank you!
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    If she is leaving marks on her neck when she grabs her throat and claims that you choked her I would try to discreetly use your phone to record her doing that to herself. And I agree with another teacher being in the classroom. If she's is going to make allegations that others are harming her they need to protect themselves, too.

    Is the doctor that you were referred to that is three hours away a neuropsyche? Can you speak to them and explain that insurance won't cover the testing, but see if you can work out a payment with them?
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Wanted to add my welcome! I agree that the school probably just isn't telling you what is going on. Does she have an IEP?