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I Don't know what to think/do (long vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 139106" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Tia, </p><p></p><p>As far as her not talking to you all the time or being nasty one minute and nice the next or having to wait until she's in the right mood to ask her to do something. I always ask myself - 1.) Would the world wait until Dude was in a decent mood to ask him the question? ie; is this so important that if not answered it creates more/bigger problems for someone else? 2.) Is it a question that needs to be asked right now? Right this second? If not - then I divert and either do it myself (weighing blowup vs. just do it myself). </p><p></p><p>I think it is really a great thing that she is accepting and willing to get help. She's very brave to endure the medicine go round. I felt a lot of times like Dude was the state guinea pig. 64 medications and combos in 9 years says he was! Currently he is doing CBT and refuses to take pills. It's either one or the other - never all or nothing with him. lol </p><p></p><p>And as far as going through a room in YOUR home with a child that has a history of (fill in the blank) I agree and I do /did the same thing. Like you if I found stuff there was no confrontation - just a talk. </p><p></p><p>As far as the sexual desire feelings? Well - I guess if boys do it girls can do it too. </p><p></p><p>With regards to the language - and I will probably get some that disagree with me, but I would put my foot down. You have to start somewhere and self-respect is a good place to start. I'm not talking the occasional swear word in casual conversation or to make a point - but the every day F this GD that ? NO WAY! We told Dude if he didn't respect himself how could he expect US or anyone else to? Dude is now at TFH and the first thing the foster dad said was - NO CURSING and We go to church on Sunday - you can't live with those rules - don't bother coming to our home because we have small children there that DO need an older person setting a good example and curse words are NOT taught in school and won't be spoken here. I thought that was a good explanation. </p><p></p><p>On the matter of do I think she is cutting subconsciously? No. Since she's doing that - I would say the sooner she gets therapy the better. Cutters cut for a variety of reasons. Dude tried it - I grabbed a knife when I found out and pinned him down on the bed and offered to cut him. He freaked out and after we had a long talk about being a copy cat for dumb reasons. He had heard about it - and wanted to try it. He was not lacking in physical feelings and unable to feel anything. </p><p></p><p>Regarding the suicide? With stims? I'm more inclined to believe that someone told her it would give her a rush like speed and she may have felt like she was dying??? I dunno. I'd keep an eye on that and maybe even call the suicide hotline for some advice and your therapist.</p><p></p><p>As far as not believing in God. I think the fact that she's worried about suicide - says maybe she does still but she's just so angry with him and her life she is in denial. Not uncommon. And as far as her taking suicide all the way? Sigh - who could tell? My x has 13 attempted suicides on his record and 2 which had no one caught he would have expired. But we were told that it wasn't coincidence that someone caught it. It was a set up. In your daughters case - again - I think that one is a ?? for the therapist. </p><p></p><p>Sounds like you really have your hands full. I will say on a positive note that she's willing. THAT seems to be part of the battle. </p><p></p><p>Hugs for your days - sounds like you need the pink fuzzy board friendship blanket to wrap up in for a while. (hands Tiapet a blankey) </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 139106, member: 4964"] Tia, As far as her not talking to you all the time or being nasty one minute and nice the next or having to wait until she's in the right mood to ask her to do something. I always ask myself - 1.) Would the world wait until Dude was in a decent mood to ask him the question? ie; is this so important that if not answered it creates more/bigger problems for someone else? 2.) Is it a question that needs to be asked right now? Right this second? If not - then I divert and either do it myself (weighing blowup vs. just do it myself). I think it is really a great thing that she is accepting and willing to get help. She's very brave to endure the medicine go round. I felt a lot of times like Dude was the state guinea pig. 64 medications and combos in 9 years says he was! Currently he is doing CBT and refuses to take pills. It's either one or the other - never all or nothing with him. lol And as far as going through a room in YOUR home with a child that has a history of (fill in the blank) I agree and I do /did the same thing. Like you if I found stuff there was no confrontation - just a talk. As far as the sexual desire feelings? Well - I guess if boys do it girls can do it too. With regards to the language - and I will probably get some that disagree with me, but I would put my foot down. You have to start somewhere and self-respect is a good place to start. I'm not talking the occasional swear word in casual conversation or to make a point - but the every day F this GD that ? NO WAY! We told Dude if he didn't respect himself how could he expect US or anyone else to? Dude is now at TFH and the first thing the foster dad said was - NO CURSING and We go to church on Sunday - you can't live with those rules - don't bother coming to our home because we have small children there that DO need an older person setting a good example and curse words are NOT taught in school and won't be spoken here. I thought that was a good explanation. On the matter of do I think she is cutting subconsciously? No. Since she's doing that - I would say the sooner she gets therapy the better. Cutters cut for a variety of reasons. Dude tried it - I grabbed a knife when I found out and pinned him down on the bed and offered to cut him. He freaked out and after we had a long talk about being a copy cat for dumb reasons. He had heard about it - and wanted to try it. He was not lacking in physical feelings and unable to feel anything. Regarding the suicide? With stims? I'm more inclined to believe that someone told her it would give her a rush like speed and she may have felt like she was dying??? I dunno. I'd keep an eye on that and maybe even call the suicide hotline for some advice and your therapist. As far as not believing in God. I think the fact that she's worried about suicide - says maybe she does still but she's just so angry with him and her life she is in denial. Not uncommon. And as far as her taking suicide all the way? Sigh - who could tell? My x has 13 attempted suicides on his record and 2 which had no one caught he would have expired. But we were told that it wasn't coincidence that someone caught it. It was a set up. In your daughters case - again - I think that one is a ?? for the therapist. Sounds like you really have your hands full. I will say on a positive note that she's willing. THAT seems to be part of the battle. Hugs for your days - sounds like you need the pink fuzzy board friendship blanket to wrap up in for a while. (hands Tiapet a blankey) Star [/QUOTE]
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