I don't know where to turn anymore....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by troubledheart, May 20, 2009.

  1. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    I am new to this site. It has been a few years since I posted on a support website. Here is a little history: 12 year old son diagnosis with ADHD/Mood Disorder not otherwise specified (used to be Bipolar, but they took that away in 2006 so as not to "label" him yet)

    I divorced my son's father when he was 9 months old. I have been remarried and divorced. I am currently engaged to be married in July of this year. I have been with my best friend/rock for 3 years. My son is 12 and adores him.

    Okay, Caleb, has been hospitalized 3x and been in a 6 month residential treatment facility. He was 7/8/9. He came out of residential treatment about 2 1/2 years ago and when he came home, I had moved to a different state, so we could have a fresh start. We are now in WI and for the most part, things have been better. He did really well at first. Small problems here and there, only 1 day suspended in 5th grade. YEAH!!

    Then came Middle School.....wow. I am glad the school year is almost over. But here is the deal. He did fine for the first month. then little problems here and there. Now, we have had 2 or 3 IEP meetings this year because of his Science teacher. He is Learning Disability (LD) in all classes except science/social studies. He has such a rotten attitude all the time. Hateful to me, hateful at school, refuses to do his work. Got caught today hiding in the bathroom. I know he is tired of school, and so am I for that matter, but I need help with him. I have a therapy appointment set up, and he is screaming for attention. I have him on a 24 hour privledge loss system to try to help him become more positive. It is like he just doesn't care anymore. About anything.

    I am in a new state (WI, 3 years) and haven't needed too much additional help. But now the school is sending him home all the time. Giving him detentions for stupid stuff (like needing to pee/no book cover on book) but he chased after a kid to beat him up last friday and all he got was "we will just keep him out of gym for the rest of the year" (that is where he is having most problems)

    I guess I am just venting. I am so tired. Tired of dealing with ignorant educators that think just because my son looks normal....he should act normal.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us, but sorry you needed to.

    I have some questions about your situation. I hope that your answers will help us help you.

    What services/accommodations does his IEP contain? Is it possible his IEP needs to be updated to reflect the current situation?
    Is he seeing a child psychiatrist for medication management?
    Have his medications changed at all since he left residential?
    Has he had a Lithium level drawn recently?
    Has his thyroid function been checked recently?
    What dose Rispserdal is he taking?

    Again, welcome.
  3. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    He had a lithium level taken about 1 month ago, 2 weeks apart (because he was on anti biotics) and the first was .7 and the second was .9 , which is where they want to see it.

    Risperidal he takes 1 mg AM .5 mg Noon and 1 mg PM

    Yes he is seeing a nurse prescriber now for medication management, his psychiatrist left and the practice is looking for another one. He also sees a PHD therapist that he loves.

    Yes he has an IEP, and most everything is addressed in there that needs to be. I called another meeting, should have that in the next week or 2. Just because I am tired of the run around with them. The science teacher has been told not to have anymore contact with me, he needs to go thru the schools EBD department.

    I am thinking of having him taken off all medications and re-tested, but i don't know if it is a good idea or not anymore.

    I am very frustrated. I think that it is mostly because I don't know where to turn up here. I am from MO and had everything figured out down there. I am just soooooooooo tired.

    I hope I covered everything.....Any Ideas would be greatly appreciated.

    FYI: family history on Dad (biodad is not in picture, only phone calls, my son refuses to go see him anymore) side of Schiphrenia (sp) and Bi-Polar Disorder. Nothing on my side. He caused bad pregnancy with me throwing up all day and all night, severe weight loss. I was monitered good. During birth we lost his heart rate due to cord over head and around neck. He came out purple with forcep delivery. Has had 2 CT scans done, no MRI, CT came back normal but this has been 4 years ago. I have had problems with him since he was 2. :(
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    If your son doesn't care about anything, he may have depression. You absolutely need to have his thyroid tested -- TSH, free t3 and free t4. Lithium can mess with thyroid function, which in turn can mess with mood. If his thyroid is fine, then perhaps you do need a medication adjustment or a medication wash to start all over again. It really sounds as if his medication combo may not be right.
  5. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    I believe his thyroid was tested when we did all the labs a month ago, his pediatrician tested everything. It all came back normal.

    I am thinking of medication wash, but god I don't want to....I am kinda hoping it is just hormones.

    I have a lot of questions for the therapist next week. He exibits so many aspergers symptoms...

    I tell my fiancee that sometime I just feel like giving up..I cry..then things keep on going. I know that someday we will all make it thru this, but I, like everyone else, don't want my child to go down that path of destruction/jail. My mom's motto is 'God doesn't give you anything you cannot handle, and you are strong, so handle it' Somedays it is hard to be strong. :(
  6. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome. I can hear the exhaustion in your posts.. and I don't blame you. When things have been going good for awhile, it can be especially frustrating, and depressing, when they begin to turn "south" again. But you have all the right things in place, and are moving forward to make what changes you can.. so that is great! One day at a time.. one minute at a time, some days.

  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad you found us, sorry you needed to. I'm sorry school is such a challenge this year for your difficult child. How many times has he been sent home? I ask because after 10 days they have to do a manifestation determination and if they find it is related to his disability, they can't keep sending him home. We went through it and brought a copy of his nuero-psychiatric write up along with a letter from difficult child's psychiatrist.

    Are you also having trouble at home or just school right now? Depending where you are in Wisconsin (I'm in Wisconsin) there is a program he might be eligible for that works to keep kiddos out of the hospital or other out of home placements.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi from mid-Wisconsin!!

    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and am wondering who has evaluated him. Also, I would recommend a neuropsychologist evaluation at the university hospital (even if it's not that close).

    Which part of the state are you in? Have you ever called the State Dept. of Public Ed in Madison? I did and it really made the school district here snap to attention and help my son. Wisconsin has a good Dept. of Public Education.
  9. troubledheart

    troubledheart New Member

    He has had neuro psychiatric evaluations, but they were like 4 years ago. What ***** is we have just been maintaining and things have been going well.

    I don't know if he is mis-diagnosed, or what. I have 2 nephews that at 5/4 that are Autistic. 3 out of 4 of my parents grandchildren have mental health issues, the 4th one is only 3 months old!!!

  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would take him to the neuropsychologist at the university hospital. Sounds like whoever is treating him is spinning his wheels--unsure of what is even wrong. It's been four years--time for a checkup in my opinion.

    Lithium made me so lethargic--I felt like I was dreaming rather than awake--and it terrified me. I stopped taking it. Mood stabilizers can cause lethary and depression too. medications are tricky. Plus lithium is for bipolar. If you have any doubts that this child is misdiagnosed, I'd definitely drive down to the university. There is a long waiting list anyway, so you have time to plan in case it's far from you. by the way, even if biodad is not in the picture, your son has 50% of his genes so he still matters...take care!