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I dread moving my cousin to a smaller room
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 616601" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry you have to keep making these hard choices for her. She is truly lucky to have you.</p><p></p><p>Is there a way to make the move about something other than money? Tell her you are moving her so that they can get her pain medications to her more easily and so that she can go and get them if she needs to, rather than that she is running out of money. Tell her that it has a better view, or any other positive points about the new room. if she complains about something in the current room, try to frame the new room as a solution to that problem if possible. I have helped with several elderly relatives and found this to be a really useful tactic when something just had to happen. My aunt tried for months to get my Gma to move into assisted living and Gma wanted NOTHING to do with it. Gma was terribly lonely in her own home after Gpa died and she got sick. My mom and I stressed how the assisted living would give her tons of social outings, she would not have to cook ever again unless she CHOSE to, she could have people come clean, tidy, deal with arranging her medications, and wait on her as much or as little as she wanted in assisted living, but at her home those were not really feasible. It worked and she ended up talking six of her friends into moving in within a year after she moved in. Years later my adopted gpa developed dementia and everyone had a tough time getting him to cooperate.</p><p></p><p>I know MANY disagree with how I handled him, but it made HIS life easier and less scary. Mostly I told him we had already spoken about whatever the change was and he had thought it was a great thing. I got away with it because he either thought I was his sister or his mom, and he never really gave me problems. I did NOT do it to spare pain or annoyance for myself, but rather to spare HIM. He got so upset and often made himself sick or so upset he fell or otherwise hurt himself in a tantrum. If it simply had to happen, well, it was going to happen whether he got upset and hurt himself or not, so why nto make it easier? I simply would say that we spoke about it and he liked that it was easier to get this or see that or he would not have to deal wtih Nurse Ratchet (his 'pet' name for one really nasty nurse, lol) as much. Yes, it was not being honest with him, but it made HIS life better and that was the whole goal. </p><p></p><p>You may have some luck with that type of thing IF you think it will work and will make her happier and have a better life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 616601, member: 1233"] I am sorry you have to keep making these hard choices for her. She is truly lucky to have you. Is there a way to make the move about something other than money? Tell her you are moving her so that they can get her pain medications to her more easily and so that she can go and get them if she needs to, rather than that she is running out of money. Tell her that it has a better view, or any other positive points about the new room. if she complains about something in the current room, try to frame the new room as a solution to that problem if possible. I have helped with several elderly relatives and found this to be a really useful tactic when something just had to happen. My aunt tried for months to get my Gma to move into assisted living and Gma wanted NOTHING to do with it. Gma was terribly lonely in her own home after Gpa died and she got sick. My mom and I stressed how the assisted living would give her tons of social outings, she would not have to cook ever again unless she CHOSE to, she could have people come clean, tidy, deal with arranging her medications, and wait on her as much or as little as she wanted in assisted living, but at her home those were not really feasible. It worked and she ended up talking six of her friends into moving in within a year after she moved in. Years later my adopted gpa developed dementia and everyone had a tough time getting him to cooperate. I know MANY disagree with how I handled him, but it made HIS life easier and less scary. Mostly I told him we had already spoken about whatever the change was and he had thought it was a great thing. I got away with it because he either thought I was his sister or his mom, and he never really gave me problems. I did NOT do it to spare pain or annoyance for myself, but rather to spare HIM. He got so upset and often made himself sick or so upset he fell or otherwise hurt himself in a tantrum. If it simply had to happen, well, it was going to happen whether he got upset and hurt himself or not, so why nto make it easier? I simply would say that we spoke about it and he liked that it was easier to get this or see that or he would not have to deal wtih Nurse Ratchet (his 'pet' name for one really nasty nurse, lol) as much. Yes, it was not being honest with him, but it made HIS life better and that was the whole goal. You may have some luck with that type of thing IF you think it will work and will make her happier and have a better life. [/QUOTE]
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I dread moving my cousin to a smaller room
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