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I feel as if I'm at the end of my rope with H now...
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 464497" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>IC, I am steeped in it. I AM an insurance adjuster/Office Manager/Human Resource Manager and currently a Human Service/Social Work student. I think we all (women) in particular, see it every day. But we've become either numb or immune to it, how it is oppressive. We get tired of bucking that way of thinking, don't we? </p><p></p><p>However, although tiring at times, this is a way of thinking I will not become immune to, no matter how prevalent in certain industries. I am the one who purchased our policy and made the down payment. MY name was first on the forms, so why do they automatically switch it around so H's name appears first and so he is listed as the contact person? Our last names are different because after my divorce years ago, I chose to keep my name-because I could- and yet, we still live in a patriarchal society wherein the man's surname is considered over the woman's. I just find that to be, on the lighter side, insulting.</p><p></p><p>H says I'm a man hater. I'm not. I LOVE men, okay? What I AM is a person who expects to be treated equally all the way around. And it's not about trivial things like holding a door open. It's about being respected and heard as a human first, just like a man - whether in a board meeting, at a used car lot, in the grocery, at the bank, wherever. I'm tired of people accepting the things they CAN change.</p><p></p><p>As you can tell, this is (and always has been) a hot topic for me. The other day easy child told me that because of this way in which I think, I raised her and difficult child to be so strong it puts some men off. She said she likes it and that she wasn't complaining, but that it's something I should acknowledge. I have to say, initially, I was concerned that my girls would fight everything and not see the real message there. But then I remembered these messages from my own mom. And that scared me more. Much as I tried to NOT be like my mom, I guess I picked up on these things....independence, speak your truth, do not be afraid, stand up for yourself because no one else will, and put some makeup on, lol. </p><p></p><p>Great thought provoking comments IC, thank you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 464497, member: 2211"] IC, I am steeped in it. I AM an insurance adjuster/Office Manager/Human Resource Manager and currently a Human Service/Social Work student. I think we all (women) in particular, see it every day. But we've become either numb or immune to it, how it is oppressive. We get tired of bucking that way of thinking, don't we? However, although tiring at times, this is a way of thinking I will not become immune to, no matter how prevalent in certain industries. I am the one who purchased our policy and made the down payment. MY name was first on the forms, so why do they automatically switch it around so H's name appears first and so he is listed as the contact person? Our last names are different because after my divorce years ago, I chose to keep my name-because I could- and yet, we still live in a patriarchal society wherein the man's surname is considered over the woman's. I just find that to be, on the lighter side, insulting. H says I'm a man hater. I'm not. I LOVE men, okay? What I AM is a person who expects to be treated equally all the way around. And it's not about trivial things like holding a door open. It's about being respected and heard as a human first, just like a man - whether in a board meeting, at a used car lot, in the grocery, at the bank, wherever. I'm tired of people accepting the things they CAN change. As you can tell, this is (and always has been) a hot topic for me. The other day easy child told me that because of this way in which I think, I raised her and difficult child to be so strong it puts some men off. She said she likes it and that she wasn't complaining, but that it's something I should acknowledge. I have to say, initially, I was concerned that my girls would fight everything and not see the real message there. But then I remembered these messages from my own mom. And that scared me more. Much as I tried to NOT be like my mom, I guess I picked up on these things....independence, speak your truth, do not be afraid, stand up for yourself because no one else will, and put some makeup on, lol. Great thought provoking comments IC, thank you! [/QUOTE]
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I feel as if I'm at the end of my rope with H now...
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