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I feel like giving up ...
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 528569" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Shelly - I really understand what you mean about not being connected with your husband like you used to be. I have found the same thing in my marriage these past 6 months. Especially the last 2 months. It seems all we talk about is difficult child. It consumes our life and our conversations which is very stressful. WE have to make a big effort to have some time together that doesn't involve talking about him or the problems that surround him. But we have decided to do it. A dinner out, a movie night holding hands (sometimes he'll rub my feet too), and an agreement to a difficult child free zone for a little while. Just to feel normal.</p><p></p><p>I don't know the answer for you. I often feel like I have given my life to my family, so much so that I am not sure who I am any more. We give so much and feel unappreciated and often like we're fighting a losing battle. It's frustrating and we want to run away but we can't give up. Our Mommy instincts won't let us. </p><p></p><p>I'm not saying this to hijack your thread - only to let you know that I hear you and I understand you. I sympathize with how you are feeling and want you to know that you're not alone. </p><p></p><p>One thing that struck me after all the hurtful things my difficult child has said and done recently..... I have given up so much - including taking care of my own health - in order to serve them. I don't regret it but I have learned a valuable lesson. I'm important too and if I don't love me and take care of me no one else will. I made a decision that I am not going to put all my eggs in my children's baskets and hope that they make me happy with their success in life and by the way they turn out. It's not their job for one thing and for another thing I don't want to rely on something like that anymore for my happiness. I'm going to be happy just for me because I deserve it - for no other reason than because I am here on this earth, alive and breathing. You deserve it too. </p><p></p><p>As hard as it is we have to make some time each day to not think about the difficulties in our life but to focus on small things that make us happy, focus on treating ourselves well and doing something that we love. And if you don't know what you love because you haven't been able to discover it - start on that path of discovery. You are so worth it!! </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 528569, member: 14356"] Shelly - I really understand what you mean about not being connected with your husband like you used to be. I have found the same thing in my marriage these past 6 months. Especially the last 2 months. It seems all we talk about is difficult child. It consumes our life and our conversations which is very stressful. WE have to make a big effort to have some time together that doesn't involve talking about him or the problems that surround him. But we have decided to do it. A dinner out, a movie night holding hands (sometimes he'll rub my feet too), and an agreement to a difficult child free zone for a little while. Just to feel normal. I don't know the answer for you. I often feel like I have given my life to my family, so much so that I am not sure who I am any more. We give so much and feel unappreciated and often like we're fighting a losing battle. It's frustrating and we want to run away but we can't give up. Our Mommy instincts won't let us. I'm not saying this to hijack your thread - only to let you know that I hear you and I understand you. I sympathize with how you are feeling and want you to know that you're not alone. One thing that struck me after all the hurtful things my difficult child has said and done recently..... I have given up so much - including taking care of my own health - in order to serve them. I don't regret it but I have learned a valuable lesson. I'm important too and if I don't love me and take care of me no one else will. I made a decision that I am not going to put all my eggs in my children's baskets and hope that they make me happy with their success in life and by the way they turn out. It's not their job for one thing and for another thing I don't want to rely on something like that anymore for my happiness. I'm going to be happy just for me because I deserve it - for no other reason than because I am here on this earth, alive and breathing. You deserve it too. As hard as it is we have to make some time each day to not think about the difficulties in our life but to focus on small things that make us happy, focus on treating ourselves well and doing something that we love. And if you don't know what you love because you haven't been able to discover it - start on that path of discovery. You are so worth it!! Big hugs to you [/QUOTE]
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