Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
i feel so guilty
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 418410" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>The other aspect of this issue is the kids. They are both stifling their emotions and acting out as a result. When they preend that everything is fine they get special treats (lunch out, etc.) so there is a reward for stiflying. Recently you posted that difficult child "fessed up" about her hidden fears. You handled it by reassuring her and reminding her of skills she could use which sounded like the "right" thing to do at the time. on the other hand she should learn that it is ok to express anger and fear aloud. Same with your easy child. She has made some huge mistakes this year and you posted that she has a lifetime of emotions that she hasn't shared. Yikes! Long term stiflying of anger and sadness makes it very easy to seek out quick fixes like substance abuse and sexual releases to cover the emotions.</p><p> </p><p>This may be the window of opportunity that your family needs to travel from pretend land into reality land. husband finally had to explode with his disappointments, fears and anger. You were shocked because your focus has been elsewhere. difficult child reacted with anger (and some degree of disrepect) because she wants things to stay as they are now. Maybe she needs to see that she can express her feelings openly in front of the whole family...and they will still love her and try to address the problems.</p><p> </p><p>It will not be easy for all four of you to be openly honest. All of us want to live a Mary Poppins happy life but it is a struggle for everyone. I think you can use this as a great learning tool. Good luck and hugs coming your way. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 418410, member: 35"] The other aspect of this issue is the kids. They are both stifling their emotions and acting out as a result. When they preend that everything is fine they get special treats (lunch out, etc.) so there is a reward for stiflying. Recently you posted that difficult child "fessed up" about her hidden fears. You handled it by reassuring her and reminding her of skills she could use which sounded like the "right" thing to do at the time. on the other hand she should learn that it is ok to express anger and fear aloud. Same with your easy child. She has made some huge mistakes this year and you posted that she has a lifetime of emotions that she hasn't shared. Yikes! Long term stiflying of anger and sadness makes it very easy to seek out quick fixes like substance abuse and sexual releases to cover the emotions. This may be the window of opportunity that your family needs to travel from pretend land into reality land. husband finally had to explode with his disappointments, fears and anger. You were shocked because your focus has been elsewhere. difficult child reacted with anger (and some degree of disrepect) because she wants things to stay as they are now. Maybe she needs to see that she can express her feelings openly in front of the whole family...and they will still love her and try to address the problems. It will not be easy for all four of you to be openly honest. All of us want to live a Mary Poppins happy life but it is a struggle for everyone. I think you can use this as a great learning tool. Good luck and hugs coming your way. DDD [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
i feel so guilty
Top