i feel very unappreciated

B

Bunny

Guest
Jena, I started seeing my therapist because I knew that I needed to find a way to deal with all of the junk that was going on here. She said to me exactly what Star is saying to you: You MUST take care of yourself. If you don't take care of you, no one else will do it for you.

Can you leave difficult child home alone, even for an hour? Take a walk in the park. Sit in the library and read a book that you've been wanting to read. Do yiou have a hobby that you've let fall by the wayside because of the all of the troubles at home? Pick it up again and get to it. It will help to take your mind off of the troubles that are surrounding you and will help you to relax. I am an avid cross stitcher, and for months I never picked up my needle. I was just too overwhelmed with difficult child stuff and how it was effecting everyone else, that I totally forgot to do the things that I wanted to do. I finally picked it up again, and there are days when it's hard to work on because of something difficult child did or said, but the point is that it gives me something else to concentrate on. Something else that needs my attention other than difficult child and all the issues that go along with him.

I hope you're feeling better today.

PM me if you need to.

Pam

PS - You could always come over here for an hour to vent if you want to. I'm not that far from you.
 

Jena

New Member
Star - It's an attribute to the person that you are that you worked so diligently on you, your past, the heavy bags we carry. Not everyone can do what you do, what I did and will do again. It sounds simple, yet it's probably the hardest thing to do is to look into your own self, the past, all of it. taking the time to understand why we tick, and do the things we do. It's a journey that's for sure, not always easy yet totally worth it. Alot of ppl unfortunately just stumble thru their lives, just making it keeping it together etc. yet dont' take the time to do the work.

When you do the work as you tried to explain by saying it makes u free i get that. it's a hard thing to actually put into words that feeling that you describe. I have felt it years ago when i did just that over some of my father junk. when you begin it, you hate it, it hurts and bites and you just wish it would be over. I swear I painted our last apartment in all dark colors i was sooo morbid lol and painting is theraputic for me. i always need to redirect my mind and keep it busy. yet when i was done it was like a ten pound weight had been lifted.

this is one seriously deep thread lol yet i really hope that anyone else here that's feeling a fraction of what i did or have been feeling takes the time to read thru all our junk :) and takes the time for them too, gets a bit selfish in a world of where we frown upon taking a moment for ourselves and does what they need to do for them.

I got up today after even spending time with husband last night, put difficult child into her place again (its' working by the way very slowly), husband even stepped up to the plate with her which was shocking. He usually doesn't. he checked on her a few times, brought her water told her when it was time to call it a night. After reading your post, having my mini jen meltdown and than just said hey it's time to take care of me a bit and stop running and allowed my husband to just be my husband without criticizing him, giving him a hard time i'm a pain in the butt with-him by the way, :) i had probably one of the nicest nites with-him just sitting watching a movie and having some really deep talks about life, etc. it was a nice reminder of why i am here with-him. Also i meditated today it's been long overdue, took the time to do that. it's a great thing to do.

k today is therapy for her, shopping for stuff to make desserts for thanksgiving. we decided to go to husband's mom's house after the restaraunt. sh'es alone for thanksgiving this year so we'll do dessert with her for an hr.

oh and go buy those pink boots by the way!! i love pink it's one of my favorite colors. overstock.com is also husband's favorite christmas website. the man has never bought anything for me in person he shops on line for it all! lol

again your a great person, and just from the stuff you wrote should show others how to get out of something that they shouldn't be in or maybe are questioning if they should be in it. took a whole lotta strength to do what you did!!
 

Jena

New Member
Pam - sorry didnt' forget about you, star's got me in deep mode as of late!! :)

we should def get together after the holidays, do coffee, etc. i personally would prefer a margarita yet i'll let you pick. we are very close to eachother. so pm me and let me know. maybe over xmas break we could take them somewhere together. difficult child can't do alot, simple stuff nothing strenuous. let me know. :)
 
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