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I feel vindicated...and it's a little sick why
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 376698" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'd be feeding back to whoever you need to, about the opportunities lost because Grade 1 teacher did not fully recognise difficult child's problems. Don't initially say what you believe (that she lied to avoid having to trouble herself) but instead aim to show her up as simply not realising how far behind difficult child is, despite the extra coaching you organised in the break. Then, when pressed for more information, 'reluctantly' drop her in it thoroughly.</p><p></p><p>If you go in blazing, "She's incompetent, lazy and a liar!" the response will be that the school will spring to her defence, and tat will be the main focus. But you need the focus to be on your son's needs. </p><p></p><p>Follow the "I can't understand it! I mean, I know he couldn't have turned in any decent homework last year because I sat with him, but I thought perhaps my standards were just a lot higher than was perhaps currently standard for Kindergarten. See? Here is a sample of what he did then/can do now. Perhaps I'm expecting too much, perhaps this IS typical of Grade 1. But now it seems the standard is perhaps higher - can you help me understand exactly what he should be able to do? And help me work with you at the school to get him to that standard?"</p><p></p><p>You may already know all the answers, but if you put it this way to the school, you are bringing their attention to the problem at the same time as alerting them to difficult child being behind, and your desire to be involved and to help. And clearly, you've given this a lot of thought so you're not just idly pondering. You won't be fobbed off easily. So they have to help, or face you digging them in deeper.</p><p></p><p>Eventually the school (and higher-up department officials, if you involve them) will realise that there were problems last year that were not identified, and someone will get thrown under the bus. You want it to be last year's teacher, and you want the school or dept of ed officials to do it and not you. The damage will be far less than you perhaps would want, but ANY official recognition that she stuffed up, will surely be of value.</p><p></p><p>This method of mine works, and it works long-term. You also find you get respected by the good teachers, and feared and loathed by the bad ones. Currently I find myself highly respected by difficult child 3's school. We still have occasional issues with a tea her, but they are rare. And as soon as I report a problem, it gets jumped on and fixed. Good and hard. By the principal and all other staff. After years of being "in the wilderness", I love it!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 376698, member: 1991"] I'd be feeding back to whoever you need to, about the opportunities lost because Grade 1 teacher did not fully recognise difficult child's problems. Don't initially say what you believe (that she lied to avoid having to trouble herself) but instead aim to show her up as simply not realising how far behind difficult child is, despite the extra coaching you organised in the break. Then, when pressed for more information, 'reluctantly' drop her in it thoroughly. If you go in blazing, "She's incompetent, lazy and a liar!" the response will be that the school will spring to her defence, and tat will be the main focus. But you need the focus to be on your son's needs. Follow the "I can't understand it! I mean, I know he couldn't have turned in any decent homework last year because I sat with him, but I thought perhaps my standards were just a lot higher than was perhaps currently standard for Kindergarten. See? Here is a sample of what he did then/can do now. Perhaps I'm expecting too much, perhaps this IS typical of Grade 1. But now it seems the standard is perhaps higher - can you help me understand exactly what he should be able to do? And help me work with you at the school to get him to that standard?" You may already know all the answers, but if you put it this way to the school, you are bringing their attention to the problem at the same time as alerting them to difficult child being behind, and your desire to be involved and to help. And clearly, you've given this a lot of thought so you're not just idly pondering. You won't be fobbed off easily. So they have to help, or face you digging them in deeper. Eventually the school (and higher-up department officials, if you involve them) will realise that there were problems last year that were not identified, and someone will get thrown under the bus. You want it to be last year's teacher, and you want the school or dept of ed officials to do it and not you. The damage will be far less than you perhaps would want, but ANY official recognition that she stuffed up, will surely be of value. This method of mine works, and it works long-term. You also find you get respected by the good teachers, and feared and loathed by the bad ones. Currently I find myself highly respected by difficult child 3's school. We still have occasional issues with a tea her, but they are rare. And as soon as I report a problem, it gets jumped on and fixed. Good and hard. By the principal and all other staff. After years of being "in the wilderness", I love it! Marg [/QUOTE]
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