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I feel vindicated...and it's a little sick why
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 377021" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>With the ball game I suggested, it shouldn't be a chore. Keep it really short, only do it a couple of times at a time if he can't handle more. Do it before school, not after, if he is struggling. Personally, I find homework for kids like tis to be a huge problem and I campaigned for it to be dropped because it just was a waste of energy and effort. The kid has held it together all day at school, concentrated as hard as he could, tried to be good (and probably failed and got yelled at) then he comes home - to more schoolwork! Of course there's a fight.</p><p></p><p>We tried all sorts of strategies, including taking the pressure down. I would put a large snack beside him so he could eat while he worked. Another thing I've done (currently doing with difficult child 3) is I will give him a mini-chocolate bar as a reward for a certain amount of time's solid concentration (no getting up and walking around; no talking about stuff not relevant). At the moment difficult child 3 has to work solidly, concentrating, for half an hour before he earns his chocolate bar. I know from experience tat once he settles to a task, he will keep going. But five minutes, fifteen minutes could be all you need to get him started. And munching a chocolate bar while he continues to work (hopefully) helps reinforce that work isn't all bad. Or he could be rewarded on completion of the amount of effort you feel is sufficient - he's worked, so there should be a sense of satisfaction and relief (I got tat bit done, anyway) then he gets the reward to reinforce it.</p><p></p><p>I don't normally recommend food reward, especially junk food, but sometimes you need to break the rules in extreme circumstances.</p><p></p><p>Homework shouldn't be a battle. It should be (if anything) a nailing in place of the day's lessons under more relaxed conditions. </p><p></p><p>With my ball exercise, I made it into a game by choosing a ball that was goofy or otherwise fun. There is a kind of ball that is actually a weighted ball floating inside an outer clear ball. The effect is to make it look as if the ball is sliding across the table, not rolling. I bought some that looked like eyeballs, they are great for holding a kid's attention on the ball ("maintain eye contact"). About $2 each, very cheap therapy. Make it a game and it will work better.</p><p></p><p>Homework snacks - popcorn is good. Pieces of fruit are good. You need food tat can be reached for and eaten with one hand, with no 'bits' to put aside (ie avoid large sandwiches - two hands needed. Peel fruit and cut it into bite-sized pieces).</p><p></p><p>For now, I'd be asking the teacher for a break from homework. Maybe keep it to the reader for a while, and you can snuggle up together to read the book. An excuse for a cuddle can often help overcome resistance. But battles - they're not him trying to control you. They are him trying to find a way to cope, when he's had a gutfull for the day and feels it's unfair for school to intrude on home.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 377021, member: 1991"] With the ball game I suggested, it shouldn't be a chore. Keep it really short, only do it a couple of times at a time if he can't handle more. Do it before school, not after, if he is struggling. Personally, I find homework for kids like tis to be a huge problem and I campaigned for it to be dropped because it just was a waste of energy and effort. The kid has held it together all day at school, concentrated as hard as he could, tried to be good (and probably failed and got yelled at) then he comes home - to more schoolwork! Of course there's a fight. We tried all sorts of strategies, including taking the pressure down. I would put a large snack beside him so he could eat while he worked. Another thing I've done (currently doing with difficult child 3) is I will give him a mini-chocolate bar as a reward for a certain amount of time's solid concentration (no getting up and walking around; no talking about stuff not relevant). At the moment difficult child 3 has to work solidly, concentrating, for half an hour before he earns his chocolate bar. I know from experience tat once he settles to a task, he will keep going. But five minutes, fifteen minutes could be all you need to get him started. And munching a chocolate bar while he continues to work (hopefully) helps reinforce that work isn't all bad. Or he could be rewarded on completion of the amount of effort you feel is sufficient - he's worked, so there should be a sense of satisfaction and relief (I got tat bit done, anyway) then he gets the reward to reinforce it. I don't normally recommend food reward, especially junk food, but sometimes you need to break the rules in extreme circumstances. Homework shouldn't be a battle. It should be (if anything) a nailing in place of the day's lessons under more relaxed conditions. With my ball exercise, I made it into a game by choosing a ball that was goofy or otherwise fun. There is a kind of ball that is actually a weighted ball floating inside an outer clear ball. The effect is to make it look as if the ball is sliding across the table, not rolling. I bought some that looked like eyeballs, they are great for holding a kid's attention on the ball ("maintain eye contact"). About $2 each, very cheap therapy. Make it a game and it will work better. Homework snacks - popcorn is good. Pieces of fruit are good. You need food tat can be reached for and eaten with one hand, with no 'bits' to put aside (ie avoid large sandwiches - two hands needed. Peel fruit and cut it into bite-sized pieces). For now, I'd be asking the teacher for a break from homework. Maybe keep it to the reader for a while, and you can snuggle up together to read the book. An excuse for a cuddle can often help overcome resistance. But battles - they're not him trying to control you. They are him trying to find a way to cope, when he's had a gutfull for the day and feels it's unfair for school to intrude on home. Marg [/QUOTE]
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I feel vindicated...and it's a little sick why
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