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Parent Emeritus
I finally put my foot down. still in shock.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 696027" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Kalahou, I would say that we aren't good for them right now. This does not have to be a forever thing. When our DCs are in the throes of their struggle, we, their codependent moms, are not good for them because we prevent the natural consequences of their choices. That is not good. I did it again and again and again in my fear and my love. </p><p></p><p>Finally I saw that I was actually his worst enemy at that time. And once I saw that, it was a motivation for me to change.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday my sister and I talked about our beloved mother, who at 84 is her son's worst enabler and enemy. She is distraught over his alcoholism but she has not been able---yet---to see her role in it. My brother is not allowed to face the consequences of his choices. He is 52 year old man living with his mom and dad and working full time and drinking himself to death. But this past weekend, my mom told my aunt she is ready to go to alanon for the first time ever. Five years ago I first mentioned alanon to my parents. Last year I gave them two alanon books. I haven't mentioned it since. People get ready to change when they are sick and tired enough. </p><p></p><p>My brothers alcoholism is getting worse, as all addictions do. My mother is watching her precious son slowly self destruct. Maybe she is getting sick and tired enough. And maybe not. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 696027, member: 17542"] Kalahou, I would say that we aren't good for them right now. This does not have to be a forever thing. When our DCs are in the throes of their struggle, we, their codependent moms, are not good for them because we prevent the natural consequences of their choices. That is not good. I did it again and again and again in my fear and my love. Finally I saw that I was actually his worst enemy at that time. And once I saw that, it was a motivation for me to change. Yesterday my sister and I talked about our beloved mother, who at 84 is her son's worst enabler and enemy. She is distraught over his alcoholism but she has not been able---yet---to see her role in it. My brother is not allowed to face the consequences of his choices. He is 52 year old man living with his mom and dad and working full time and drinking himself to death. But this past weekend, my mom told my aunt she is ready to go to alanon for the first time ever. Five years ago I first mentioned alanon to my parents. Last year I gave them two alanon books. I haven't mentioned it since. People get ready to change when they are sick and tired enough. My brothers alcoholism is getting worse, as all addictions do. My mother is watching her precious son slowly self destruct. Maybe she is getting sick and tired enough. And maybe not. Warm hugs. [/QUOTE]
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I finally put my foot down. still in shock.
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