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General Parenting
I find it hard to be consistent
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 87296" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Consistency is hard. It is a job in and of itself. I found that if I only made rules I could truly enforce helped. Let the small stuff go. It's not the end of the world if someone doesn't shower. Kids at school will let you know if you smell and you'll ultimately get the hint that showers are a good thing. If it wasn't a health or safety issue, I'd let it go. (Clean dishes fell under the health category; so did taking out the trash and cleaning the cat box.)</p><p></p><p>Chores are a necessity. The rule at my house was they will be done before you go to bed and there will be no "fun" until they are done (no tv, playing outside, etc.). If they weren't done that day, the next was spent in her room with no TV, music, books, games, etc. until she was ready to come out and do the chore. There was no discussion, no nagging, just this is the way it is. I would do one reminder about the chore and that was it. So, if one chooses to make the counter spotless, appreciate the clean counter when it's done. Just give her a gentle reminder that she still has to do the dishes and she's stuck in the kitchen until they are done.</p><p></p><p>For me at least, it was much easier to be consistent when I let things go. I gave my daughter the rules and let her know the consequence of each. For some it was a reduction of allowance, for others it was a removal of a privilege. Both the rules and the consequences were in writing and on the wall. Also, we agreed that I could only remind once an hour for things like chores (I was an excellent nag!). More than that and I had to put a quarter in the penalty jar (this was used for something fun in the future) for each nag.</p><p></p><p>If you come home too tired to enforce a rule one night, simply make it a "rule-free" day. The only things that will be enforced are violence, damage of property, things you find absolutely intolerable. It is good to relax once in awhile and just let things go for one day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 87296, member: 3626"] Consistency is hard. It is a job in and of itself. I found that if I only made rules I could truly enforce helped. Let the small stuff go. It's not the end of the world if someone doesn't shower. Kids at school will let you know if you smell and you'll ultimately get the hint that showers are a good thing. If it wasn't a health or safety issue, I'd let it go. (Clean dishes fell under the health category; so did taking out the trash and cleaning the cat box.) Chores are a necessity. The rule at my house was they will be done before you go to bed and there will be no "fun" until they are done (no tv, playing outside, etc.). If they weren't done that day, the next was spent in her room with no TV, music, books, games, etc. until she was ready to come out and do the chore. There was no discussion, no nagging, just this is the way it is. I would do one reminder about the chore and that was it. So, if one chooses to make the counter spotless, appreciate the clean counter when it's done. Just give her a gentle reminder that she still has to do the dishes and she's stuck in the kitchen until they are done. For me at least, it was much easier to be consistent when I let things go. I gave my daughter the rules and let her know the consequence of each. For some it was a reduction of allowance, for others it was a removal of a privilege. Both the rules and the consequences were in writing and on the wall. Also, we agreed that I could only remind once an hour for things like chores (I was an excellent nag!). More than that and I had to put a quarter in the penalty jar (this was used for something fun in the future) for each nag. If you come home too tired to enforce a rule one night, simply make it a "rule-free" day. The only things that will be enforced are violence, damage of property, things you find absolutely intolerable. It is good to relax once in awhile and just let things go for one day. [/QUOTE]
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I find it hard to be consistent
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