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Parent Emeritus
I found myself here because I made my daughter leave today and am now remorseful
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<blockquote data-quote="Waitingforamiracle" data-source="post: 760705" data-attributes="member: 25449"><p>Hi Fifi, I'm sorry you are going through this with your difficult child. My relationship with my son has been similar. Being unpleasant and spoiling vacations - ongoing through childhood but worse at 17+, insolent behaviour as a teen, no respect shown, dirty habits and bedwetting, we didn't get him diagnosed as didn't want to label him as you said. He's now blaming us for everything and cut off contact completely last August (age 24). I hate to say it but this pattern doesn't seem to get better. We too look back on our parenting and wish we had done things differently, but no parent is perfect! The difficulty is her age, she's still pretty young. We continued to support our son from 18-21 as we felt he just needed help to mature, it started off OK but later we realised we were not helping. At 18 we encouraged him to take an art course, then paid for him to rent a room in a nearby city - it worked OK as it got him out of the house so we had a bit of peace, he even got a job eventually. After two or three years of odd jobs, dropping out of college, relationship breakups and living in rooms he returned home at the beginning of the pandemic as he stated he was homeless. (He'd been back home before, and we'd had to throw him out because it was impossible to live peacefully with him.) We didn't expect the pandemic lockdown to go on for so long, and his behaviour got worse and worse, throwing glasses and plates, painting abuse on the walls, reporting us to the authorities for 'abusing' him, suicide gestures which we took no notice of as we'd been through it so many times before.</p><p>By this time he was hearing his 24th birthday and we thought, that's enough! We tried, we're obviously not doing any good, so we're just going to stop. I cannot advise you, my only thought is what would we have done differently? Maybe not to be such pushovers, to demand respect in return for support... it's hard. All I can offer you is my experience, I know others will be coming along really soon! Hugs to you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Waitingforamiracle, post: 760705, member: 25449"] Hi Fifi, I'm sorry you are going through this with your difficult child. My relationship with my son has been similar. Being unpleasant and spoiling vacations - ongoing through childhood but worse at 17+, insolent behaviour as a teen, no respect shown, dirty habits and bedwetting, we didn't get him diagnosed as didn't want to label him as you said. He's now blaming us for everything and cut off contact completely last August (age 24). I hate to say it but this pattern doesn't seem to get better. We too look back on our parenting and wish we had done things differently, but no parent is perfect! The difficulty is her age, she's still pretty young. We continued to support our son from 18-21 as we felt he just needed help to mature, it started off OK but later we realised we were not helping. At 18 we encouraged him to take an art course, then paid for him to rent a room in a nearby city - it worked OK as it got him out of the house so we had a bit of peace, he even got a job eventually. After two or three years of odd jobs, dropping out of college, relationship breakups and living in rooms he returned home at the beginning of the pandemic as he stated he was homeless. (He'd been back home before, and we'd had to throw him out because it was impossible to live peacefully with him.) We didn't expect the pandemic lockdown to go on for so long, and his behaviour got worse and worse, throwing glasses and plates, painting abuse on the walls, reporting us to the authorities for 'abusing' him, suicide gestures which we took no notice of as we'd been through it so many times before. By this time he was hearing his 24th birthday and we thought, that's enough! We tried, we're obviously not doing any good, so we're just going to stop. I cannot advise you, my only thought is what would we have done differently? Maybe not to be such pushovers, to demand respect in return for support... it's hard. All I can offer you is my experience, I know others will be coming along really soon! Hugs to you! [/QUOTE]
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I found myself here because I made my daughter leave today and am now remorseful
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