I got a demerit

[TerryJ2]

I shouldn't be laughing. One more demerit and my son gets suspension. Yes, this close to the end of the yr. But this one is my fault.

Remember my post about the frowny-faced teacher coming up to the car recently and telling me about difficult child's episode pulling a thread out of his tie and ripping out the insides, then insisting he didn't have to wear it? She made him staple it and told him he HAD to wear it.
Quite the power struggle.
Well, she said there was a slip of paper for me to sign in his backpack.
I drove out of the pkng lot and immediately got into it with-difficult child (long story short, he lost his temper, I lost mine, I spat tea in his face, he bit my hand).

I went to bed and tried to forget about the whole thing.
Boy, did I do a good job! I forgot to sign the note!
And for that, difficult child gets another demerit.

Sigh.

P.S. I am making an appointment with-the resource dir and the principal next wk. I am going to thank them for all of their hard work, and then tell them to delete "Asperger's" from the list of kids they can help with-resources. They will balk. After all, it's only one kid.
But they clearly were clueless. I will have my ducks in a row, not to worry.

 

[KTMom91]

Bad Terry...no cupcake.

How many more days of school are there?

 

[gcvmom]

Are you also going to ask them when you're supposed to serve your detention for YOUR demerit?

Give. me. a. break. I'm sure you're counting down the hours now...

 

[ML]

Oh boy!

 

[TerryJ2]

No CUPCAKE??? Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
NO FAIR.
I am ENTITLED to a cupcake. I breathe, therefore, I get a cupcake.

 

[nvts]

You're going to be in the corner with Star and I!!!!

and by the way...we have cupcakes!

Beth

 

[Wiped Out]

If there are cupcakes in the corner I want to come too!!

Terry-Watch those demerits!! Glad school is almost over!

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, well, in that case, I'll be happy to go in Time Out.

I used to tell difficult child that I wanted him to send me to Time Out so I could go to bed and be by myself for the rest of the day. He'd shout his favorite word, "NO!!!"
No sense of humor, that kid.
Not a lick of pity, either.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I wanna come too - I'll bring the milk - can't have cupcakes without cold milk. Can I have a demerit too?

Sharon

 

[Marguerite]

I don't get this demerit thing. From hat I understand - YOU had to sign a piece of paper, I assume acknowledging difficult child did something wrong and they have to be certain his parents know about it, hence the need to get a note signed and returned otherwise they can assume that the kid simply hid the note and lied when he said he gave it to his parents.

The teacher told you about the note, therefore removing the need for you to be told by difficult child. In other words, the spirit of the rule was kept - the parent was notified.

And in tis case - the parent failed to ensure the note was returned. The kid clearly has personal organisation issues and is now being punished first, for personal organisation issues which are part of a disability; and second, for a lapse in concentration by the parent.

Now I have to wonder - do they hold themselves to the same high standards? And are they really aware that they are punishing a child, and the child's family, for a medical condition which the child cannot help?

You can't discipline a child out of a disability. As I've said so often before, it's like punishing a blind child for failing to copy accurately from the blackboard.

I know it's the end of the school year but I would still be fighting this one. Depending on how naughty you are feeling, I would even consider turning up at the school and demanding to be put on detention for MY lapse. Also asking the teacher to serve detention with you, for their own accumulated deficits (such as failing to do their homework on Asperger's as well as this child's specific needs, plus the very unfair punishment of a child purely for being disabled.)

There is a tendency for teachers, students and parents to get school fatigue at the end of a school year. As a result, we tend to let things slide when really we should never relax our vigilance.

In other words - never stop kicking, just because it's the end of the school year. Never let the term end with a bad precedent set.

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

I'm with you, Marg!
I made a separate appointment with-the principal and the resource director, two days after our regular report card conf.
The principal's secretary called to ask me if I was sure I wanted a 2nd mtng.
Yes.
The principal called me to ask if I was sure I wanted a 2nd mtng.
Yes.
It will be a different kind of mtng. It's not about my son's grades.
It's about their cluelessness.
I'll be diplomatic. As long as they don't hear me grinding my teeth, I'll be fine.