I got my

[witzend]

annual "Happy Mother's Day xoxo" text from L. I texted back "Is this really all I'll get for Mother's Day from now on?"

Then I forwarded the conversation to her dad. Seriously! She could at least send a card or call, even M did that.

I'm sure she'll waste no opportunity to tell me that it's because my mother and I don't talk. Well, that's kind of the point, isn't it? We don't talk and L & I do. L is included in our lives and I am not included in my mother's life. I think I got a "Happy Birthday" text from L too, now that I think of it. Somehow she's taken husband out to lunch on his B-Day the past two years, though.

 

[DammitJanet]

Witz...I was just complaining about this to Tony this morning. Billy brought me my gift last night and told me happy early mothers day.

This morning I found two texts on my phone from Jamie and Cory. I should be happy that Cory's came in first...lol. Then Cory did call me when he figured I would actually be awake to say it but he also wanted Keyana's moms number so he could call her and tell her Happy mothers day. Jamie hasnt called me at all but you can bet you sweet behind he got his wife something expensive. Now I have had this little talk with him that she is not his mother, she is his wife and that his kids are supposed to get her something...and that is supposed to be something appropriate for their ages...like plants or something they make or he takes them to a store to pick out. He should pick something out to send to me...HIS MOTHER!

 

[Hound dog]

I would have to agree that a text just does not cover it.

I called my Mom. We chatted a couple hours to catch up on everything. She got cards from each of my bros. She was unimpressed, mostly because it doesn't take much effort to pick out a card......when actually their girlfriends most likely picked up the cards for them. Other sis called her..........and sis in texas she's not heard from, sis has not contacted her for holidays either. Odd since this sis called me up out of the blue a week or so ago and we chatted for quite a while. hmm

At this distance.....calling her is about the only affordable thing I can do. She doesn't like flowers for such things and I don't either. lol

SILs get their wives something for mother's day........but they make sure the kids get/make them something too.........and wives make sure their husband's mother's get something as well. Cuz if it were up to my sils.......they wouldn't bother.

 

[DammitJanet]

I guess maybe I or my family is weird. I think Valentines day is for boyfriend/girlfriend or wives and husbands. Mothers Day and Fathers Day is for those. Tony always made sure the boys did something special for me and I always made sure the boys did something special for him. Of course, I always gave the kids something small on VD too but nothing huge.

Now I am very pleased that Cory has called me three times now today to check up on me to make sure I am okay because as he put it "this is the first year without Papa"...which does show he is actually thinking. Jamie obviously didnt hear me at all when I talked about how hard this day was going to be for me...sigh.

 

[Star*]

Well I got the COOLEST thing -----------OMG this was the best!

I got a call from my son that lasted - about 15 minutes. Then I got a picture texted to me that he made out of french fries while sitting at Arbys of Ouixa. OMG I am having it framed - it is so cool. I bet no Mother on the entire PLANET got what I got. I love it! I have a rendering of my Granddog in Curly fries and a note that said - I love you Momma - I'm a dork. Happy Mothers Day.

Then I took myself to WalMart, got my $5.00 gift like we agreed, identified a spider for my Mom via text - even though it was flat from her shoe - and came home to my Mothers Day lunch of a bologna sandwich .

All in all? I'd say it was a pretty great day. My son is alive, he's not in jail - we talked (although briefly) he wished he had money to get me something but didn't - so he made me something with what he had and sent me a picture - so at the least? I was thought of, remembered and he included the dog I was worried he wouldn't treat right. Yup - happy as a clam.

 

[Star*]

Witz,

Maybe you should have fwd the text to her Dear Daddy the jackwad. I swear that girl is about a candidate for Borderline insensitive disorder. Are you SURE you gave birth to her? Maybe they switched babies at the hospital or something cause she certainly doesn't behave like you at all. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhsheesh. I'm so sorry. I can send you a picture of a french fry dog if it will make you happier? It's about all I have to share. But I'll do it.

 

[flutterby]

I got nada from my kids. Not even a text. Although, I did get the stomach flu...then later news that my son may be coming back home. Somehow, just not the same....

 

[susiestar]

I am really sorry Witz. To be honest, I would prefer nothing to a text - to me that sure seems like a slap in the face. Esp as I know you do what you can to include her in your life. She sure isn't much like you. All her garbage about how you treat your mother is just a way to justify her own behavior. Someday she will have a child and likely will end up iwth an adult child who does NOT inlcude her and is NOT on good terms with her - mostly because the child won't be able to give enough to her. I know you tried hard to teach her better than this. She is exactly what her father and stepmother taught her to be.

May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in their pubic and armpit hair.

Flutterby, I am sorry. I hope you will tell your difficult child how she better not expect you to do, say, give or provide anything to/for her for the rest of the month if not longer. If she cannot even make a card for you or spend a couple bucks on one, well, she needs to be given a swift kick in the pants. How will she feel when her birthday comes around iwth no gift because you didn't think she wanted one. After all she couldn't remember mother's day, so how could you remember her birthday.

Janet, my family does gifts for the mom from the husbands. Heck, my dad gives me a gift on each of my kids' bdays and my mom on mine and my bro's bdays. He and husband both say it is a way to show how much they appreciate us for giving them the kids and for the great job we do parenting them. But I can see how you feel about the gifts only being from the child to the mom. I just can imagine the banshee screaming that Billie would torment Jamie with if he didn't pony up some expensive gift AND flowers, Know what I mean???

 

[AnnieO]

Hugs all round... If not for my Mom and husband? I wouldn't have "known" it was Mother's Day.

I always make sure the kids do something for husband. Even if it's a homemade card. But I don't think it occurred to him.

Onyxx was out at a friend's all weekend, Jett was with BM. But, gee, I saw them both last night. You'd think they could say "hello", at least.

on the other hand? I'd rather nothing than either A) having to "share" or B) a text.

 

[DammitJanet]

Susie....I probably wouldnt be quite so ticked over this matter if he didnt make it quite so darned obvious. He has told Billy several times he would go in on presents for me and then didnt send money...he has also done that on presents for fathers day. He has also bragged about the presents he gets Billie. Really expensive rings and necklaces. In fact, the necklace he got her now 3 mothers days ago, Billie let Hailie wear and it was lost.

He also never sends me a card on my birthday. He did call me one time on my birthday to tell me that they were walking through the mall and saw some gold dipped roses one day before my birthday and he got Billie one for my birthday and if he had enough money he would have got Hailie one too...in honor of me! Excuse me...why not get me one? Its my birthday!!!!

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh... and to make this even worse, I just spent over 200 bucks on Jamie and Billie by getting them a Kinnect for their Xbox. I told Jamie it was his Birthday and Xmas present in advance. I got him the Kinnect and two games. Sigh.

 

[Hound dog]

Ok Janet.....................umm, that whole rose thing is a tad weird. Why on earth would he buy it for Billie in honor of you for your birthday? Ok, so if you'd passed away maybe.......maybe. But you're here and there was no reason he couldn't have bought it and given it to you.

Someone has got to explain to me why so many males totally lose the ability to think once they fall in love. My bros are like that and it drives me nuts.........drives my Mom nuts too, always has.

I so agree with you on the rose..........did you tell him how you felt?

 

[AnnieO]

How in the heck can they think this kind of behavior is OK?

Again, I'd rather it totally be forgotten. Jeez, this is like multiple slaps in the face!!!

 

[DammitJanet]

My question was why did he tell me?

 

[susiestar]

Janet, that is strange and sick. It is almost like he is remembering a dead person. That is how I could see a "reason" for ihm to buy a gold dipped rose for his wife on YOUR birthday. Telling you was a way to rub your nose in it.

He has some seriously sick thinking in my opinion. His entire relationship with Billie sounds sick to me. Esp the way he is letting her destroy those children's lives by not being consistent with anything except showing disdain and almost contempt for YOU. I think it goes far beyond just not thinking about it. I know a LOT of guys who think Mother's Day is something Hallmark made up to sell cards so they don't want to celebrate it. But really Jamie isn't doing that.

Is there a chance he felt somehow slighted or left out because all the stuff Cory did/got away with and all the time/attention it required? Cause it seems to me that he is going WAY out of his way to show you how much money he is making (we make enough that I can spend hundreds of dollars on a necklace for my wife and then for my daughter to lose it with-o it being a big deal at all") and how he lavishes gifts on that witch of a wife of his. Sorry, she IS a witch, she just IS.

I think the calls are on purpose to make you feel bad or upset. No way you remember your wife on mother's day and you don't even think about your mom. It may also be that billie is so jealous of anyone else in his life, any interest that is not her, that she has told him that he is not 'allowed' to give you anything. Even if that is true, it is still his CHOICE to do this.

I would work to send a clear message that you do NOT appreciate this, that it HURTS you deeply, and that you will NOT participatein his life, even in phone calls, for quite a while because of this. I wouldsend him a note letting him know that this Mother's Day was the LAST STRAW. So many holidays have gone by with nothing from him but info about what fancy thing he lavished on his wife, even when he couldn't remember to even CALL you. That there will be NO gifts, NO visits, you will NOT speak to him or his wife or his kids ont he phone. LEt him know he has hurt you badly and that he must EARN your forgiveness by being a good son who does nice things for his mom esp on her birthday, Mother's Day, and all other major holidays.

Do NOT go to his house. Let Tony go alone if he wants to. Do NOT let him come to YOUR home, esp with that woman he married. He can apologize and earn forgiveness first, Know what I mean???His shabby treatment of you has gone on for a LONG time. Do you realize that almost every post about jamie is about how he has done something else to really hurt you? I don't like to see my friend hurting and this angers me.

Only you know if the things I suggested will be worth the effort or have any chance of working. I hope you will at least think about taking that type of action. Maybe even writing him a letter about how his actions hurt you and have done so for such a very long time. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

 

[Marcie Mac]

At least you got a text - nothing from the eldest - have gone from high expectations, to low expectations, to no expectations LOL She has been told her grandmother is dying, and that was two weeks ago - hasen't called for an update or anything.



Marcie