I got stuck on a "reality" show last weekend...... Bridezillas

[timer lady]

I've yet to explore American Idol or that dancing show or Bachlorette. Saying that, last weekend kt & I were stuck indoors in the rain. Nonstop rain the entire weekend.

kt turned on Bridezillas. OMG, are these women real? Are the show's producers paying these women to become so incredibly obnoxious, rude & entitled? I couldn't believe what I was watching.....kt kept telling me "it's reality, mom".

One woman insulted a NYC doorman & got kicked out of her own bachlorette party - I mean this woman kept screaming how her ring is worth more than he'll ever earn in his lifetime.

And we couldn't stop watching. It's like witnessing an accident - you want to turn away but you just can't stop yourself from watching.

 

[AnnieO]

I can say this for a fact... If I had turned into one of those women... husband would have walked away.

...I wonder how many of their marriages succeed, if they're this nuts about something that, in the grand scheme of things, is relatively miniscule?!

 

[DammitJanet]

Linda...I have to admit Bridezilla's is one of my guilty pleasures too. I love watching in awe as it appears these women are paying huge sums of money to be as miserable as anyone can be for one day of torture...lol. I swear if I was the husbands I would walk so fast. Not walk...run!

 

[KTMom91]

Miss KT and I LOVE Bridezillas! Around here, we refer to that as "train wreck programming," where you just can't look away (as you said, Linda!) I'm dying to see the one where the bride's mom ordered Filipino dancers and a clown...Ivy, I think the bride's name is. Mom was just as bad as the bride.

 

[GoingNorth]

I haven't actually watched this show, but I have met a few "Bridezillas" in my time. husband's family wanted the huge Jewish wedding and we flat out told them if they wanted it; they could pay for it.

husband and I had already been handfasted and that was the actual anniversary date as far as we were concerned. The families were up in arms because we were "living in sin".

husband's father was irate that I wore a borrowed wedding dress from one of my cousins. Why pay a grand for a dress to only be worn once. Plus, my grandfather, the rabbi performing the ceremony, wasn't going to cope with something that had a low neckline or was off the shoulders.

I wore a dress with a high neckline and a full length veil. My family made the veil and adapted the dress so the train could be removed for the reception

 

[susiestar]

I haven't seen this one. I must admit that "train wreck programming" is a lot of fun. I often wonder what people who behave like that think when they see it later. Are they ashamed?? How do they ever live it down??

 

[donna723]

I admit to watching it once in a while too. But a few of them have been so over-the-top obnoxious, I turned it off because I wanted to slap them silly! I wonder if some of them don't exaggerate it a bit though because they know that the cameras are on them. And I've been surprised too that some of the fiances haven't headed for the hills before the ceremony! Did anybody see the one where the bride and all her bridesmaids were all "plus size" girls (more like "Super Plus"!)? This girl purposely picked bridesmaids that were fatter than she was so she would look good by comparison! And she went into screaming fits at one poor bridesmaid who had lost a few pounds and actually looked good in her dress!

I think it's fun to watch for the same reasons that people watch Jerry Springer ... I can't handle that one though. These shows make you feel better about yourself, a little 'superior', because most of us would never, ever do things like that, especially with TV cameras recording it all! We get to look down on them, and that's fun!

 

[susiestar]

I just watched a few of the freakout moments. I am completely clueless about this type of behavior. My childhood bff was a TOTAL bridezilla in many ways. There were almost more people in the wedding party than there were people watching it. This was NOT done out of ANY spirit of making everyone feel included, not by any means. It was a literal dog and pony show. Heck, I was the matron of honor and she didn't even introduce me to the other bridesmaids, let alone the groomsmen! She was totally furious with me because we did not take 7mo old Wiz to the wedding and reception. Not only would he NOT have handled it well, I flat out refused to let the bride's eighty five year old grandmother babysit my child for the wedding, photos and reception. I spent four entire days driving her all over town so she could do whatever, even paid MY money to let someone cut my hair to HER specifications, and told her up front that on the day of the wedding I could not spend eight or ten hours away from Wiz. (While she would have had her Gma babysit my son, the invites clearly said that children were NOT allowed.) She chose to insist on three hours of photos before the ceremony and four hours after the ceremony. I was still nursing Wiz and he was very bottle resistant. I was in pain and leaking a LOT and did not go to the reception. I had called my aunt and Wiz was not eating, kept screaming, and had a fever. No choice at all for me. I went to my kid.

She was a spoiled jerk about it and didn't speak to me for over a year. Our friendship never really recovered, now we don't even send cards. There is no point.

WHEN did the wedding become all about the bride? I guess maybe I am out of touch or not female enough, but I thought a wedding was about merging two lives to create a family, and about merging two families to support the new family. That a wedding was also for the groom, that what he wanted also counted. My children can be VERY sure that if they act that way about their weddings I will let them know it is simply not acceptable. Some drama is probably inevitable simply because there are so many details, but these people simply are not ready to be half of a couple. They have no respect for anyone, not even themselves.

Do people normally act that way about weddings?? WHY???

 

[Fran]

The first time I watched Bridezilla's I sat there with my jaw on the floor. It is definitely train wreck material. I was shocked at how awful the bride's were to their
fiance's and their friends. It was hypnotizing. I had to pull away. Haven't watched it since but it is incredible.

 

[KTMom91]

They had a follow-up to the 'zillas on a couple of weeks ago, and surprisingly, some of them were still married!

The amount of money they're spending just blows me away as well. I just don't understand why you would want to go so deeply into debt at the beginning of your marriage.

 

[susiestar]

I am always floored at the amount of money spent also. From the time I was 16 my parents BOTH told me that when I wanted to get married they would give me the amount of $$ the wedding would cost if I would elope or go to a Justice of the Peace instead of having a big ceremony. When the time came I brought it up. My mother hit the ROOF!! She was furious that I would even bring it up. I even have a letter she wrote when I was in my teens that talks about the offer. We went ahead with a wedding because it was what husband and I wanted. It was NOT traditional in many ways, but it was just right for us. It also did NOT cost the earth. I was shocked when the one bride to be was saying the wedding cost ONLY $16,000 SO FAR. Holy Toledo, $16,000 is a car or a down payment on a small house!!! Heck, that is about half of what we paid for our first house!!!

Why does anyone think that everyone they know and everyone else they can pay would devote even a day to doing exactly what they want? Why would they want to have to tell that many people what to do? I got irritated over the stupid questions for my small wedding. Who cared what color the napkins were? You wipe your face on them. Matches? We don't smoke. Why spend $$ on printed matches??

I probably have a very odd view of weddings though. When my aunt got married we spent a week sewing pearls onto the dress that she made. Then she went and bought about 20 big boxes of brownie mix at Sams, along with foil pans to bake them in. There were so many relatives who wanted to help in some way so she gave each one of them a mix and a pan. We didn't have wedding cake. We had 20 different types of brownies. Every decoration and addition you can think of. As we waited in the huge line for the buffet she went and cut some of the brownies. That way there was something to munch on while we waited for food. It was more fun than many other weddings simply because it was so perfect for my aunt and I guess for her husband. He is still hard to get to know, even 20 years later.

 

[Marguerite]

husband & I watched this show last year with a mixture of horrified fascination and trepidation - we were especially nervous of easy child 2/difficult child 2's potential to be a Bridezilla. She did refer to herself as such at times. She had four bridesmaids, each wearing a different shade, and a flowergirl done up as a mini-me. But as far as costs went, we told her up front (as we told all three older kids) - they had $10,000 from us and they had to pay for the rest themselves.

difficult child 1's wedding was simple and cheap because everyone volunteered. The biggest problem we had (apart from the difficult child mother in law taking over and making a mess of things embarrassingly) was too many volunteers meant not enough food. We had volunteers coming out our ears, including villagers walking in from the beach to join in. But there was a lot of money left over; the kids bought a car.

easy child's wedding, she organised and paid for herself. No Bridezilla.

easy child 2/difficult child 2 - a handful. HAD to have the expensive dress. HAD to modify the dress herself to save money (luckily she is capable and artistic). Made her own veil, double stitching on the seed pearls over months. Made all the dresses (with help). Designed all the dresses. We shopped around exhaustively, it was a headache at times. Delightful at times. The hens night was a worry. So was easy child's hens night.

I think the most surreal moment was dress shopping with all three girls before the weddings - I had daughter in law looking for bridesmaids' dresses, easy child 2/difficult child 2 helping look for bridesmaids' dresses (for herself as well as for easy child and daughter in law) and easy child looking for the lot. daughter in law was a bride and bridesmaid for easy child 2/difficult child 2. easy child was bride and bridesmaid for easy child 2/difficult child 2. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was bride and bridesmaid to them both. They all had different tastes. daughter in law pulled out a frothy white confection that was festooned with coloured beads; easy child 2/difficult child 2 announced (loudly, in front of the designer), "Darling, it looks like a meringue fell into a vat of cake sprinkles!"

Embarrassing...

Marg

 

[donna723]

I get the feeling that a lot of these women are the 'diva' type anyway, but some of them are so obnoxious that it's a wonder that the whole wedding party didn't walk out on them before the ceremony! I guess in a way some of these TV bridal TV shows contribute to the feeling that it has to be some big extravaganza, like a Hollywood production. But they seem to have lost focus on the meaning of the whole thing.

My daughters wedding six years ago was one of the loveliest I've ever seen, very family-oriented and done on a shoestring. The wedding was in S. Carolina where they were living, where sister in law's family lives. They really didn't care about a fancy wedding, they just wanted to be married, and it was put together on two months notice so it could happen between sister in law's semesters in school. Lord knows, I was not in a position to contribute much financially - it was all I could do to get my son and I there and the proper clothes bought. And her 'father' barely made it there himself, with the help of his family. The one extravagance was the dress. My daughter had bought a simple little dress herself but sister in law's mom and aunt offered to buy her a gown as a wedding gift so she returned the one she bought. She ended up with a simple but elegant gown that was perfect for her, dull finished satin underneath with a sheer overlay covered in little crystals that sparkled like ice when she walked and had a train behind it. Not cheap but not one of the $10,000 gowns either, and she looked gorgeous in it. The rehearsal dinner was a BBQ at sister in law's grandma's house - the perfect way for everyone to get acquainted. The ceremony and reception were at sister in law's family church, small with only 70-80 guests, mostly family and close friends. The flowers were lovely but simple and elegant. They picked my daughters little MR cousin to the the ring bearer because they both adore him - had he messed up, nobody would have cared, but he didn't. They were both beaming at him when he came down the aisle with the rings on the little pillow. He was so proud and excited to be in the wedding and he practiced for weeks. Her cousin that she grew up with like sisters was her only bridesmaid, and this cousins daughter served the cake at the reception. No big expensive sit-down dinner, just cake, punch, and simple but tasty finger foods, and nobody cared one bit! No big production number but it was truly lovely and so sentimental and meaningful. It was just the people who loved them coming together to celebrate their marriage and the joining of their lives, and that's really what the focus should be.

 

[KTMom91]

Son #2 and K's wedding was very nice, done on a budget, with the bride's family members bringing food for the reception. It was held in her aunt's backyard, and while I don't know how much she paid for her dress, the bridesmaid dresses were only $75 (Miss KT was a bridesmaid, so I know!), and the style was one that the girls could wear to the prom without looking silly. It was easy to tell that their focus was on each other, family, and friends.

Hubby and I ran away to Reno with our kids and our moms, after deciding on a Sunday afternoon to be married the next Saturday. I borrowed a dress, and called the hotel to ask if they had a wedding package. We had no idea what kind of wedding we would be having until we got there!

 

[busywend]

Linda, I am hooked on 'Say Yes to the Dress' for sure! Of course, I thought it was just because I am getting married this year and went through the dress shopping process so I could relate. I was amazed to learn the cheapest dress in the store was $2k and they went all the way up to $36k!!

I have seen Bridezillas a few times and it is amazing to me that anyone holds such high expectations on a one day affair. Surely they will be disappointed.

 

[Marguerite]

I think we were able to get easy child 2/difficult child 2's dress for A$1600. The design she wanted, with little cap sleeves, was another $400 so she bought the strapless gown which, while it looked lovely, looked wrong on her. She looks too young, she needed something a little more demure. So what we did, was in the week before the wedding, we went to a wholesale designers' haberdashery in the city and, with the (heavy) wedding dress being carried up five flights of stairs by SIL2 (who closed is eyes obediently very time we unzipped the opaque garment bag to pull out pat of the dress to compare lace design and colour), we bought some lengths of stretch lace about 4" wide. We bough about half a metre for about $5 then sewed it on by hand, carefully. It looked perfect.

So while there was some Bridezilla about my daughter (such as buying a $1000 pearl pendant to wear as something she can pass on to a daughter) she generally did her best to save money. That pearl pendant - we still have it here, I think in my sock drawer. It's beautiful, but $1000? When she was still paying it off and then lost her job the day after she picked it up from the jeweller? That was a bit of a disaster.

Oh,and with so many bridesmaids each wearing a different jewel-coloured dress, she bought a dainty necklace and matching earrings for each, using an Avon catalogue and birthstone sets. That way they all had the same design, but colours to match the dresses. Smart kid!

Meanwhile I was mother of the bride for the second time in the same year, had been mother of the groom also within the same 12 months and really couldn't wear the same dress again. So for this last wedding, I finally bought a long evening dress in painted silk. I had a evening professional formal dinner to attend coming up, I could wear the dress then. Only over the next couple of weeks I had a messy falling-out with the organisation whose ball I was to attend, and needed to stay away. So I still haven't worn that dress. I was going to wear it last Saturday night's dinner for husband's event, but now with my breast cancer treatment, I can't wear that dress, not until the skin settles down after all the radiation treatment. I need to use a stick-on bra with it, and I'm not sure if the new shape of my scarred boob will take it.

So whether you're a bride or not, always make sure you will get more use out of your dress. Because you never know what life will throw at you.

Marg

 

[Fran]

I have to say that we had a simple, traditional wedding on a shoe string budget. Church, fire hall, buffet and lots of hand made cookies for guests to take home. Someone called it a cookie shrine. It was done by neighbors and relatives and pretty common in SW Pa. I wore my mom's gown because it was quick, easy and it fit. I just didn't care at that age. I never imagine a magical wedding day. I must have missed that part in girly school.
However if I had to do it over again, I would probably upgrade some. I would have a nicer more lovely place for the reception. I would probably have someone who would take care of the running of the wedding on the day instead of husband and I trying to do it all ourselves. No disposable dishes, untensils or glasses. More flowers as decoration instead of paper streamers. I was happy enough with the food, gown, borrowed maid of honor dress and bouquets. One female and male attendent. Siblings did readings, alter boy, etc.
Fortunately, I was pretty hard at work on the marriage part instead of the wedding part. I did better in learning how to keep a marriage going as opposed to the lovely wedding day part but I wish I had put a little more thought into the celebration and tradition of the reception.
Hopefully, I'll know more for my kids in terms of getting them to think about what they want on this day and the memory they want to create.
No over the top spending that's for sure.
I had to explain to my mother that wedding receptions were not fund raisers. Alien information in her world. LOL. You don't have a reception to make money.

 

[AnnieO]

My first wedding (XH) I wore my Mom's dress, my single attendant's Mom made her dress, we had the reception at the VFW and I think the biggest expense was the DJ - who was a friend and cut us a good discount. My mother's Mother-of-the-Bride dress probably cost $400, and the alterations on hers about $75. Honestly think the whole thing ended up around $3,000.

Now when husband and I got married? mother in law's back yard. Found Onyxx's dress on a clearance rack for $15, sea green with pink flowers and a ruffle at hem and sleeve (the ruffle actually was the sleeve!). Mine was a little harder - my Mom took me shopping, and we did find a perfect dress, but not in my size. The store called another store about an hour away and they did have one. $50 for aqua with darker blue watercolor-like flowers, and a little blue mesh jacket. I found husband a madras shirt in aqua, and Jett a polo in pale green (both at Wal Mart), and the boys wore khaki pants. mother in law was in charge of flowers and got a couple topiary trees, and other stuff, plus carnations for Onyxx to hand out (she REALLY wanted to be a flower girl). My Mom made the cake, and father in law bought two bottles of champagne - one non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice for the kids. I think we had 12 guests. The whole thing (including mother in law's overboard on the flowers, I did not describe them all) maybe cost $600. The one-night honeymoon at a themed resort hotel cost almost $400. And father in law paid for it... LOL!

 

[DammitJanet]

Well I got stiffed on the marriage part but it was all my fault. I am dreaming of grandkid weddings...lol. I have a feeling Keyana may be a Bridezilla. At least she may start dreaming about how she wants her wedding soon. All princessy with a Prince Charming to come carry his Princess away in a carriage...lol.

 

[AnnieO]

Just make sure the carriage doesn't look like a pumpkin.

And glass slippers are super uncomfortable I hear!