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I gotta ASK!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="2tired" data-source="post: 189805" data-attributes="member: 491"><p>This morning when I was getting ready for church, the phone rang, and it was the Dekalb County Police. I decided not to answer the phone. I felt that it had something to do with my daughter. Thread - The Saga Continues- Anyway, it has been 3 weeks since she ran away. Called me Thurs. & Fri said she wanted to come home. Well, I am so TIRED, and knowing that I just don't feel like I have the strength to deal with what's to come, and not wanting to "BE STRONG", I just don't want her here. Is that wrong? I know some will think so, and some will not. I had a breakdown at church today - of course, because I know it's not "His Will" to feel this way. I could say I can't help it - but I can - because I have gotten through over 7 years of "HE*L. She will be 17 in Oct - . Before she left, I was a prisoner in my own home- keeping doors locked, car locked, keys in my bosom, purse locked up, etc, and I absolutely hated it. I can't put everything of value, or that I don't want her to get her hands on - I don't like her, (but she can be so sweet), but on the other hand - (diagnosed at 8 yo. with ODD - those old behaviors, the blame, the vindictivness, and everything else that goes with it - I'm just tired. I've had so many devastating things happen to me even before she was born, I am just exhausted and just don't want to deal with it anymore. On the other hand, that's my first born - and if I put aside how I feel, and consider her, that means I continue with the drama in my life. In my heart, and in His will, the later is how it should be. But I am so tired. Help me please. I wil lbe alittle more receptive - ON SUNDAYS!!! When I talk to my family, and say - what do you do with that - of course no one knows because they haven't been through anything like this - and for so long. I know after she came back from her last 3 week runaway - the sight of her nauseated me - and that's if I looked at her. I walked by her as if she wasn't here - and that was hard, but I was so angry. I'm stuggling with this and I know talking to her, and getting her to do right - she will apologize and we'll be back to dealing with whatever her problems are - guilt being one of them.... Thanks in advance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2tired, post: 189805, member: 491"] This morning when I was getting ready for church, the phone rang, and it was the Dekalb County Police. I decided not to answer the phone. I felt that it had something to do with my daughter. Thread - The Saga Continues- Anyway, it has been 3 weeks since she ran away. Called me Thurs. & Fri said she wanted to come home. Well, I am so TIRED, and knowing that I just don't feel like I have the strength to deal with what's to come, and not wanting to "BE STRONG", I just don't want her here. Is that wrong? I know some will think so, and some will not. I had a breakdown at church today - of course, because I know it's not "His Will" to feel this way. I could say I can't help it - but I can - because I have gotten through over 7 years of "HE*L. She will be 17 in Oct - . Before she left, I was a prisoner in my own home- keeping doors locked, car locked, keys in my bosom, purse locked up, etc, and I absolutely hated it. I can't put everything of value, or that I don't want her to get her hands on - I don't like her, (but she can be so sweet), but on the other hand - (diagnosed at 8 yo. with ODD - those old behaviors, the blame, the vindictivness, and everything else that goes with it - I'm just tired. I've had so many devastating things happen to me even before she was born, I am just exhausted and just don't want to deal with it anymore. On the other hand, that's my first born - and if I put aside how I feel, and consider her, that means I continue with the drama in my life. In my heart, and in His will, the later is how it should be. But I am so tired. Help me please. I wil lbe alittle more receptive - ON SUNDAYS!!! When I talk to my family, and say - what do you do with that - of course no one knows because they haven't been through anything like this - and for so long. I know after she came back from her last 3 week runaway - the sight of her nauseated me - and that's if I looked at her. I walked by her as if she wasn't here - and that was hard, but I was so angry. I'm stuggling with this and I know talking to her, and getting her to do right - she will apologize and we'll be back to dealing with whatever her problems are - guilt being one of them.... Thanks in advance. [/QUOTE]
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