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The Watercooler
I guess I am going back to the daily grind
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 135861" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Gosh, thanks you guys. I am glad you feel I am doing the right thing. It does not "feel" like it, but I "think" it is the right thing. Besides my checkbook, <em>insists</em> it is the right thing.</p><p></p><p>Yea, I had not thought of this as the first of many firsts - but you are right.</p><p></p><p>It is weird - sometimes I do have peace with this whole thing. The other night - I really felt like H. was there in my bedroom, just pouring and filling me with peace and love. (I know, it sounds weird - difficult child just looked at me when I told him that and told me that was creepy - but really, if you have had someone you love die, you know what I mean.) But I do feel peace sometimes - as if H. is just skipping and dancing around, somewhere, being the person she was always destined to be - and I am the one missing out on the fun down here.</p><p></p><p>Other times I experience grief so extreme that I cannot even feel it. I can only feel it knocking, tapping at my soul - telling me it is there. I am afraid to feel it - I am afraid I may never make it back out of there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 135861, member: 3301"] Gosh, thanks you guys. I am glad you feel I am doing the right thing. It does not "feel" like it, but I "think" it is the right thing. Besides my checkbook, [I]insists[/I] it is the right thing. Yea, I had not thought of this as the first of many firsts - but you are right. It is weird - sometimes I do have peace with this whole thing. The other night - I really felt like H. was there in my bedroom, just pouring and filling me with peace and love. (I know, it sounds weird - difficult child just looked at me when I told him that and told me that was creepy - but really, if you have had someone you love die, you know what I mean.) But I do feel peace sometimes - as if H. is just skipping and dancing around, somewhere, being the person she was always destined to be - and I am the one missing out on the fun down here. Other times I experience grief so extreme that I cannot even feel it. I can only feel it knocking, tapping at my soul - telling me it is there. I am afraid to feel it - I am afraid I may never make it back out of there. [/QUOTE]
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I guess I am going back to the daily grind
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