I Guess It's Different When It's difficult child's Money...LOL!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, May 4, 2011.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    difficult child's 16th birthday is right around the corner now.

    For months and months she has been talking about what kind of party she wants for her "Sweet Sixteen". At first, she was demanding an "MTV Style" mega-bash. Then she wanted a masquerade ball (we were supposed to rent out the fancy building downtown for this one!). Then she wanted us to send her and a bunch of her friends out of town for a "getaway weekend".

    Yeah, like any of those were gonna happen...!


    Then she toned it down a bit and started talking about a party at so-and-so's....or taking all of her friends out somewhere....or taking everybody to the movies...or....or...or....

    So, husband and I gave difficult child a present.

    We gave her CASH. Enough to take friends out somewhere...or have a big party at home...or take everyone to the movies...or any number of nice things.

    So what has difficult child decided to do for her "Sweet Sixteen" ?


    Yep. She would like her Dad to make some home-made soup. She figures all the ingredients will cost about $6. Oh...and maybe add some cake mix...that should come to about $8.

    She isn't even talking about having anybody over cause she is worried that she'll have to spend more!

    As for the rest of the money?

    difficult child has taken herself to McDonald's...bought candy from the snack machines...got herself a few things at the store...

    I am just shaking my head.

    I guess it's different if difficult child has to pay for a party!

    Who knew?

  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow... I'm afraid to give Onyxx cash... (When I actually HAVE cash...)
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I have been doing that for years now! :)

    They were offered $200 in cash or a party (of which the costs came out of that cash). Funny enough, we didn't have any more parties....lol.....
  4. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    The first time difficult child complained that easy child was using his lunch money for other stuff, and making his own lunch, we said, "OK, no problem as long as he cleans up and lets me know when the food is low". We learned it is a lot cheaper, and without any arguments to give them 50% of what you would have spent and let them make the decision. I think it helps them learn about what things cost, and helps them manage the money. And mostly I don't have to hear the "Mom will you buy ...."
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Omg, That is too funny!
  6. Wow, what an inspired idea! I love it! Gonna have to remember this one!
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You've got it! When my son got released from Department of Juvenile Justice last year and needed a new wardrobe because the old one no longer fit him and he only came home with a Department of Juvenile Justice outfit on, he got money to pick out his own clothes, except for just a few things because I wasn't sure what size to get. It was amazing how he was looking for bargains instead of the "coolest" clothes then.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    At one point, we gave Onyxx a clothing allowance and turned her loose. $150. Age 13.

    She came home with 12 pairs of g-string underwear, a pair of jeans and a pair of socks. I kid you not.

    The next time? She got the same amount (3 months later), but I had to go along & approve every item. 3 pairs of jeans, 2 shirts and a pair of boots.

    Now, she gets clothes somehow, but I haven't taken her in a long time and neither has husband - she hasn't asked. When she gets caught shoplifting, it won't be on me...
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Cory was my clothes horse. He always wanted the coolest clothes and shoes. Until he had to started to have to pay for his clothes himself. Funny how his shopping habits changed. LOL.
  10. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    difficult child's birthday is coming up at the end of May. She doesn't really deserve a party or gift after the way she acted on Mother's Day. Hey maybe I will do the same for her on her birthday!!!!! I could save time and money!!!!!
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We gave each of our kids $10,000 towards their weddings. If they spent more, it was on them. If they spent less, they got to keep the difference. We have actually kept the difference ourselves, the kids can ask us for it and have it when needed. Because we kept it, when difficult child 1 was threatened with bankruptcy, the extra money (because his wedding was by far the cheapest, and his in-laws did the same thing, gave them money) was not showing up in his assets. So when the insurance problems were all over and he has needed money, all they have to do is ask and we transfer what they want.

    It was interesting - easy child 2/difficult child 2 had the most expensive tastes, had the dream designer wedding dress that she wanted, but when she had to find the money herself and make ends meet, she found ways to have the wedding she wanted and still economise.

    It's a good way to make them more financially accountable.