I guess she really does love me, I am finding some compassion

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jody, Jun 10, 2010.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I don't know what's happened to me in the last couple of days, and I am even partially scared to talk about because I don't want to jinx anything. I was leaving church last night and I missed a step and fell, I didn't even know how it happened and I was on the ground. I have a knee that has to be replace from arthritis and have been having the Hyalgan injections, just the day before, well anyway, twisted ankle, fell on curb of the sidelwalk, fell straight onto bad knee. My Orthopedic surgeon has told me from x-rays, MRI's that my knee cap is actually hanging out someone in the back of my knee, not where it is supposed to be. Not in terrrible pain or anything just sometimes hard to get around, but I did not need for this to happen. When I fell, my daughter fell to the ground, she said I love you momma. She didn't know what had happened and I think she thought I was having heart attack or something. She had just told me to watch my step, (mother hen) and then I fell. I was hurting but I was glad to know that my daughter who is generally not so kind, really does care. She was very helpful to help me get up and helped me get home and get in bed and iced up. I have been thinking about her a lot and how she can be the most loving child and affectionate and sometimes very thoughful and then so completely opposite of all those things. I tried to imagine being her, and not having friends, and watching her sister excel at everything and having tons of friends and parties to go to. I am my 12 year old's best friend. She doesn't have anyone else. I am her mother first, but I fill in where friends should be. The people that she hangs out the most are adults. She doesn't seem to care much about kids. She always gravitates to the adults. All of the adults that know her, and spend time with her see the best side of her. I am going to try to focus on some things that I think she would be good at and enjoy, maybe the guitar, photography, dog training. She loves rocks. I think I have found some compassion for her. I think there is still a chance for her. I have a little hope, and hope that it keeps growing. I am a little scared to even have these feelings, been there done that, type of moment. She made honor roll the last two semesters of school. I am proud of her for that. She's going to a day camp at the childrens hospital here for two weeks during the day for social skills and anger management. She carried in groceries today, without complaining. She just called me to check on me and see how my leg is feeling. I hope she doesn't want something from me, want to enjoy the good things, but there is always those thoughts creeping in. Back and forth. I guess we just take whatever we can and enjoy those days or moments. Just feeling good for a moment and wanted to share.
     
  2. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Hi Jody, I am so glad you posted I have been thinking about you and was hoping all is well. So happy difficult child was so concerned for you and is on her best behavior. I love those days when my difficult child is compliant. I will tell you when he has a great day I over analyze what was different from other days when he is acting like a lunatic. I hope you have alot of better days ahead and take care of that knee !!:D
     
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry you fell. I know how painful it can be. I had an ortho doctor who treated me after I fell due to some trash on the ground at a gas station. He had me fill a dixie cup, the little ones from the bathroom, with water and freeze it. Rather than just putting an ice pack on it he had me massage it with the dixie cup of ice. As it melted I just tore the cup so more ice showed. It really helped.

    I am glad that you are able to find compassion for your daughter. It IS hard when you are a kid and you have to wrestle with all these problems. Do what you can to hold on to the compassion. Take pictures and write down what is happening so that you start a record of the GOOD times with your difficult child. You could even get a little photo book and start a scrapbook or journal devoted only to nice things and fun times with your daughter. Then you can look at it when times are rough. You might even be able to motivate difficult child to want to do more things to fill up the memory book.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Jody, you DO have a sweet daughter and she DOES care for you...always.

    I was wondering who diagnosed her because she sounds a lot like she could be one of the high functioning autism kids/Aspergers. I have one. You never know what they are really thinking and they tend to not have a big interest in their peers (some do, but they don't know how to relate to them) so they seek out younger children or adults (both who tend to be more accepting) and often they fail in life and feel badly about themselves if they don't get help...but have so much potential.

    Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I recognize her behavior in my own Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son. Hope you can take this further and maybe re-evaluate her. And I'm glad you saw that she loves her a lot.
     
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