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Parent Emeritus
I guess some things just aren't meant to be
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 748799" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>My daughter and I used to have an extremely volatile and unpleasant relationship. Part of it was due to her substance abuse issues and untreated mental health problems as well as her general immaturity. Part of it was due to my own behavior. Instead of setting and maintaining boundaries I let her rudeness get to me and would fire back at her. Several years ago I was at my wit's end and set and enforced boundaries for her. Part of those boundaries are her treatment of me. Whenever she was rude or disrespectful I started telling her in a matter of fact manner what I didn't like and then removed myself from the conversation. In the beginning she ramped up her bad behaviors. She would call my phones repeatedly, leaving screaming, insane messages. But I kept with it. I would just turn off my phones. I could walk away from her because I live about 30 minutes away and I knew she wouldn't drive that far. It took awhile for her to get it, but she figured it out. She does it rarely now, but when she does I just hang up the phone or walk away from her. She no longer calls me over and over. She just lets it go for a few hours or a day or two until we talk again and are both in a better frame of mind. People will treat you however you teach them to treat you. It will be a struggle for a bit, but if you set boundaries with your son he will get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 748799, member: 11235"] My daughter and I used to have an extremely volatile and unpleasant relationship. Part of it was due to her substance abuse issues and untreated mental health problems as well as her general immaturity. Part of it was due to my own behavior. Instead of setting and maintaining boundaries I let her rudeness get to me and would fire back at her. Several years ago I was at my wit's end and set and enforced boundaries for her. Part of those boundaries are her treatment of me. Whenever she was rude or disrespectful I started telling her in a matter of fact manner what I didn't like and then removed myself from the conversation. In the beginning she ramped up her bad behaviors. She would call my phones repeatedly, leaving screaming, insane messages. But I kept with it. I would just turn off my phones. I could walk away from her because I live about 30 minutes away and I knew she wouldn't drive that far. It took awhile for her to get it, but she figured it out. She does it rarely now, but when she does I just hang up the phone or walk away from her. She no longer calls me over and over. She just lets it go for a few hours or a day or two until we talk again and are both in a better frame of mind. People will treat you however you teach them to treat you. It will be a struggle for a bit, but if you set boundaries with your son he will get it. [/QUOTE]
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I guess some things just aren't meant to be
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